I know I started this Blog in order to review things (after I decided to stop talking about sports) so I decided that since I don't do comic book reviews anymore out of laziness, I would post my reviews and rankings of the Summer 2013 movies that I have seen. That didn't pan out either so I decided to just wait until the end of 2013 and review EVERY movie I saw in theaters in 2013. Hopefully this will kick off even more reviews, because I have a lot of stuff I want to watch in 2014!
Since I work overnights and get off of work at 9am, my initial plan throughout the summer was simple - go to a matinee showing on Friday mornings of a movie I wanted to see. Unfortunately I did not have a chance to see a movie each week as I originally wanted to, but I think I saw a large amount of movies, all things considered, and I'm pretty happy with the way things came out.
So, without further adieu, my 2013 movie reviews and rankings!
First, summer movies!
Iron Man 3
The Plot: In the aftermath of The Avengers, Tony Stark grapples with his post-traumatic stress disorder while attempting to stop a terrorist known as the Mandarin, who is intent to conquer the world with biological weapons and genetically modified super soldiers.
My Thoughts: This movie was one of the more controversial ones of the summer, due to a certain twist that will remain unspoiled. Fans of the iron Man comics HATED the movie because of this, but I quite enjoyed it. This was a fast paced movie with a lot of action, specifically towards the end. Some parts were goofy, however, such as Tony being able to summon his armor from across the country and having it fly from Tennessee to Miami in 90 seconds. Not as good as the first Iron Man, but better than Iron Man 2. Once I snag this one on home video I'll give the trilogy a rewatch to see if the rankings change.
MAY 17: Star Trek: Into Darkness
The Plot: The USS Enterprise investigates an assault on London, leading to the discovery of a centuries-old nemesis called Khan.
My Thoughts: I really enjoyed the 2009 reboot of Star Trek, but this one was not as fun as that one. The movie was basically a modern day remake of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, which I admit I have never seen (I'm a Star Wars fan), except that key roles were reversed. The ending was kind of a cop out too, after lots of devastation everything returns to normal at the flick of a wrist. Not the worst movie I've ever seen, but nowhere near the best, and this one pretty much holds the rank of "worst" summer movie in 2013 in my rankings.
The Purge
The Plot: In the near-distant future, America has virtually no unemployment or crime due to the annual Purge, a 12 hour period where crime is legal and emergency services are disabled.
My Thoughts: This one was interesting. I was intrigued by the previews, which made it seem like it was going to be an apocalyptic type of movie where everyone kills each other and causes as much damage and mayhem as possible. It wasn't, but what we got was still pretty good. A family secures their home and attempt to ride the Purge out but the son lets a stranger into the house for protection and now the family is being tormented by a gang trying to kill the stranger. The ending was a let down, though, after building and building to a resolution, the movie just ends with the end of the Purge. It was really anti-climactic. Very short movie though, clocking in at a little under 90 minutes, and I at least felt like I got my money's worth.
Man of Steel
The Plot: A being from the planet Krypton is sent to Earth before that planet's destruction. The being, called Clark Kent by his adoptive family, leads a simple life but is ridiculed for being different. But his powers come into use when a Kryptonian criminal comes searching for him.
My Thoughts: Another controversial superhero movie, a reboot of the Superman film series after the disaster that was Superman Returns. That movie wasn't bad, per se, it's just so damn boring! It was like DC decided that since Batman begins did so well the year before, a Superman movie made with mid-00's technology a year after Batman Begins would do just as well, plot be damned! Anyway, this one is much better. I really enjoyed the actor's performances much more than I did the action, as once Superman came into form and started fighting baddies in the city and stuff, the camera got really shaky and it was hard to tell who was hitting who. Still an enjoyable feature though.
Monsters University
The Plot: In the prequel to 2001's Monsters Inc., Mike Wazowski and James P. Sullivan are freshmen in college where they learn how to scare. Along the way, they must deal with fraternities and collegiate coursework.
My Thoughts: Pretty much just as the description says, this is the prequel to Monster's Inc. which shows the origins of the characters and how they all got together and became scarers. Nothing to really write home about, but it's Pixar, so of course it was good.
This Is The End
The Plot: The Rapture takes place during a party at James Franco's new house, and six actors must band together and find a way to make it to Heaven.
My Thoughts: Funny stuff here, with lots of celebrity cameos... not really much to say about this one except that it might have been better on drugs?
Pacific Rim
The Plot: A dimensional portal opens deep in the Pacific Ocean, causing gigantic reptilian creatures to assault major countries and cities in the Pacific Rim. The countries around the world develop massive robots in order to combat them.
My Thoughts: Remember when I said Star Trek was the worst movie I had seen during the summer up to this point? Well Pacific Rim might have been one of the worst films I've seen PERIOD. I seriously do not get the love for this movie, although it appears that the only people who actually like it grew up in the mid-80's with Transformers and all of those other giant robot cartoons. This movie was just DULL, with boring characters who have no real motivation. There were a slew of background characters that were introduced and then offed just seconds later, and the movie makes a big deal out of them being killed. Um, why? Why should I care about a character who I have only seen for three seconds that doesn't even have a name? Speaking of nameless, I don't think they said the main character's name until the end of the movie. Anyway, I'm ranting, and wrote a review already, so just know that I hated this movie.
Elysium
The Plot: In 2154, Earth is overpopulated and diseased, so the rich elite build a space station where they can maintain their way of life with advanced technology. An Earthling suffering from radiation poisoning must find a way onto this paradise, called Elysium, to cure himself as well as his childhood friend's daughter.
My Thoughts: This one was okay, and had an okay story going but kind of fell apart at the end. While the overall plot was really basic, the special effects were GREAT, although the fights did suffer from shaky cam syndrome, similar to Man of Steel. There were some cool First Person POV shots during the fights in the early parts of the movie but they abandoned that interesting concept pretty quickly. Jodie Foster was pretty much wasted in her role too, and her character ended up being pretty pointless overall. I'm also not sure why this was rated R either, other than to let people drop F bombs. I guess there was lots of gore too, so maybe that's why. In the end I would say if you're bored, rent it or catch it on Netflix for a mindless movie night, other than that, feel free to skip.
The Wolverine
The Plot: In a kinda-sorta sequel to X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Wolverine heads to Japan to say goodbye to a dying man he saved from the Hiroshima bomb during World War II, but it's not that simple.
My Thoughts: This movie was AWESOME. The filmed it like an old school movie, so while the pace is sort of slow compared to what we're used to seeing, it is still entertaining. It took five X-Men movies, but they finally got the Wolverine character right. I would best describe this movie as "simple yet brilliant" - while everything from the plot to the characters to the shots are made simplistic, it's brilliant because it all makes sense. You know why Wolverine is going to Japan, you know why the bad guys are doing what they're doing, and you're easily able to follow along with all of the action, and you find yourself rooting for Wolverine more and more as the movie goes on. Probably my favorite movie of the summer and it tops Iron Man 3. See it by any means necessary!
That concludes the summer, so now to toss in the few remaining films I saw from the fall!
Gravity
The Plot: A group of astronauts become stranded in space after their shuttle and the International Space Station are destroyed by a faulty Russian missile, and they must find their way back home to Earth.
My Thoughts: This was probably one of my most anticipated films of the entire year, and boy did it deliver. The entire movie is a roller coaster, and of course, lots of first person shots of spinning through space. Awesome cinematography and great CGI, even though the science may be inaccurate. I'm not really concerned about the science, I paid to see a movie! Anyway, those who vomit on roller coasters might want to avoid this one because of motion sickness, but I found myself gripping my seat's armrests the entire time. You'd think a movie about astronauts stuck in space wouldn't need any more of a story either, but they add little snippets of background for the characters, and it just makes you that much more emotionally attached to them. Highest of recommendations!
Thor: The Dark World
The Plot: In the aftermath of The Avengers, Loki is imprisoned for his crimes, but is asked by Thor and other Asgardians to assist them in stoping an inter-dimensional force accidentally brought to Earth by Dr. Jane Foster.
My Thoughts: Maybe it was because I was tired when I saw this one, but I didn't care for it as much as I did the first movie. I had no interest in seeing the first Thor movie but when I finally did I was pleasantly surprised. I didn't have much interest in this one either, but Marvel movies are like pizza; even if it's bad, it's still good. This sequel involves more inter-dimensional species trying to take over the Earth using portals to transport armies, and it's up to Thor to stop them. Packed full of action and fun characters, but I find Thor the least interesting of the Avengers, so I couldn't enjoy this one as much as I probably should have.
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
The Plot: In part two of the Hobbit trilogy, Bilbo Baggins and the dwarves encounter Smaug the dragon while Gandalf the Grey witnesses the return of the Eye of Sauron
My Thoughts: God this movie pissed me off so much. Not because it was bad, per se, but it was just completely freaking pointless! It was obvious to those who saw the first Hobbit the little tweaks that Peter Jackson made in order to stretch the book out into three movies. Some of the cut material reappears here, and would have fit in perfectly with the first movie. The best way I can summarize this movie is this: "Good guys find out who the bad guys are." Yes, Bilbo and the dwarves escape giant spiders and an elf compound and finally make it to the mountain where Smaug resides, talk with him, anger him, and he sets off to destroy a nearby town. Meanwhile, Gandalf encounters Sauron. That's ALL that happens! The people who designed and made Smaug did a fantastic job, which is about the best thing I can say about this movie as Smaug was really evil sounding and was about as realistic as you can possibly make a talking dragon. That and the movie is only 2.5 hours, and flies by pretty fast due to being filled with action. The rest though.... no good at all. Wait and watch these when they release the inevitable box set with all of the unreleased material that add hours to each movie.
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
The Plot: In the sequel to Anchorman, a media conglomerate launches a 24/7 cable network, and an unemployed Ron Burgandy is tasked with rebuilding his news team and hosting a program.
My Thoughts: Big giant swing and a miss here. I even went in with the mindset of "this movie will probably suck since they only made a sequel just to make a sequel" and I was STILL disappointed. It wasn't really bad, it was just that they tried to force "memorable" quotes like the last one, but you could tell they were trying too hard and not letting things flow naturally. Everything basically bottoms out at the end too, and they recreate lots of scenes from the first movie. You can probably guess the ones. And because all of the characters are somehow 6000% more retarded in this movie, it comes across as unfunny. Check this out if you absolutely, positively HAVE to, but otherwise, wait and rent it. I would recommend just pretending that the movie doesn't exist.
Overall Thoughts:
Pretty good year for movies, overall, at least out of the ones I saw. Top 3 would probably go Gravity, The Wolverine and Iron Man 3. Bottom 3 would probably go Pacific Rim, Anchorman and Star Trek.
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