Friday, December 28, 2012

WCW New Year's Evil


WELP. My stupid ass forgot to give you POLL RESULTS last week, so now you get DOUBLE THE RESULTS this week!

TWO weeks ago, I asked you if you enjoyed Kevin Smith movies and 53.8% of you answered no.

And last week I asked you what your favorite Christmas movie was and it was a TIE between National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and Home Alone



-- Box Office News: It's a double dose this week thanks to Christmas. The Hobbit dwarfed (*rimshot*) its competition last weekend while Christmas was kind to new releases
-- Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for The Place Beyond the Pines, Scary Movie 5, and you can also watch the first four minutes of Warm Bodies. You can also catch the first six minutes of Maniac
-- In Theaters This Week: Django Unchained, Les Miserables, and Parental Guidance
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Looper and Cosmopolis

It's the end of the year, which means lists, lists and more lists!

-- The Numbers compiles the best selling DVDs of 2012
-- Torrent Freak released a list of the year's most downloaded TV shows. Whoever is downloading Big Bang Theory needs to be arrested by the FBI yesterday
-- Not to be outdone, Amazon joins in the fun with their own Best of 2012 list
-- ComingSoon decides to rank the Terrible 25 of 2012
-- FOX News meanwhile compiles a list of 2012's hawtest film babes. juices_world would be proud!
-- And don't forget about JoBlo! They have compiled the Top Ten Trailers of 2012 along with another juices_world favorite, the Top Ten Bikini Shots of 2012

-- RIP Jack Klugman
-- Happy Holidays from Tony Stark!
-- J.J. Abrams turned down Star Wars Episode VII
-- Hugh Jackman SPEAKS
-- From the people who brought you Cars comes Planes!
-- Walking Dead Season 4 is official

And that brings us to this week's poll.

What is your favorite New Year's Eve movie?New Year's EveWhen Harry Met SallySleepless in SeattleThe Godfather Part IIMeh

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Let's Get Comic-aught Up: Batman and Night of the Owls

What's this, MORE comic book reviews?

Yes, I've now been catching up on the main Batman series, because it's been a while since I've reviewed Batman as well, so here we go!

Beware of spoilers... although most of this stuff is old already.

Friday, December 21, 2012

Mayan Apocalypse Christmastacular!


Yes it's CHRISTMAS. Sadly I have no witty introductory paragraph yet again this week, so let's get straight to some holiday Hollywood news! And I just realized I probably should have done some sort of Mayan Apocalypse gimmick this week, but that was played out back in '09 when they made that shitty movie with John Cusak. I saw that movie for free on FX one day and wanted my money back. Speaking of John Cusak, why does he remind me so much of Ted from How I Met Your Mother? And why does Ted make me feel like I am watching a version of myself come to life? WHY AM I RAMBLING?!?

Quick note to all of you cWo Dads out there: Don't let your kids wind up like this poor soul on Christmas morning :(




-- Box Office News: A dragon took over a mountain, kicked out the dwarves that populated it, and spent all of their treasure going to see The Hobbit in 3D
-- Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for The Smurfs 2, To The Wonder, The Great Gatsby, This Is The End and some sort of Tyler Perry whatever
-- In Theaters This Week: Jack Reacher, This Is 40, Django Unchained (12/25), Parental Guidance (12/25) and Les Miserables (12/25)
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: The Words

READERS ROW
-- Todd the Overcommiter takes a brief break from listening to An-Day's Miami Vice soundtrack to send us an article about recurring image themes in Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy

-- Screened ranks the 30 best and 30 worst movie posters of 2012. Glennie Approved!
-- Screened also takes a look at Orson Welles' The Trial and Christmas movies
-- The worst movies of 2012 review themselves
-- So how exactly does LEGO work on their movie based toy lines? The Wall Street Journal investigates
-- Speaking of tie-ins, you might have noticed Denny's promoting their Hobbit themed menu. A couple reviews the food with HILARIOUS results!
-- Coming Soon brings us a 2012 list of unproduced screenplays
-- Angelina Jolie: Director
-- Quentin Tarantino almost directed a movie about WHO?
-- Speaking of superhero movies that almost weren't, Joss Whedon claims the original draft of The Avengers included Wasp
-- Speaking of The Avengers, Samuel L. Jackson discusses a Nick Fury movie
-- Speaking of Samuel L. Jackson, he engages Anne Hathaway in a Sad-Off
-- Samuel L. also speaks with JoBlo about Django Unchained and Breaking Bad
-- The Muppets sequel gets a little more Gervais-y
-- Meanwhile, Wolverine, who has a movie coming out next year, is going to star in another movie about Wolverine
-- RUUUUUNNNNNN! EEES GODZIRRA! No, seriously, run!
-- YOUR MTV Movie Award Host is Rebel Wilson
-- ATTN AN-DAY: The Twilight Zone is returning to TV

And that brings us to this week's poll.


What is your favorite Christmas movie?A Christmas StoryChristmas VacationMiracle on 34th StreetIt's a Wonderful LifeThe Santa ClauseElfLove ActuallyJingle All The WayFriday After NextHome AloneBad SantaMuppet Christmas CarolA Charlie Brown ChristmasDie HardOther (name it below!)


And why the heck not, it's the end of the world... Merry Christmas everybody!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Let's Get Comic-Aught Up! - The Amazing Spider-Man

Yes, it's the RETURN OF COMIC BOOK REVIEWS!

I've done a bunch of add/dropping over the last few weeks in hopes of getting caught up and eventually hitting weekly reviews again. But for now I'm trying out some new review methods with almost 20 issues of The Amazing Spider-Man.

And holy cow, has it been a while since I've reviewed Spidey comics.


Let's get to it!

Friday, December 14, 2012

Backdoor Fiestas 9



FRIENDLY BLOG REMINDERS
-- SECRET SANTA! Some gifts are in, others are sent, others are waiting to be sent stuff so they can send it themselves. Get on things!
-- My College Football Pick 'Em starts TOMORROW. Remember that I'm giving away a FREE PRIZE. Make that FREE PRIZES, as I might be throwing in some stuff that An-Day sent me weeks ago that I already
own and have no need for! Register HERE. The password is cruise. Hint hint HMC, FFF, FOTV and the like!

And now for the show you may or may not have paid to see, it's the Friday Film Fiesta!

Last week I asked you what your preferred film length is, and 71.4 percent of you voted 2 hours.



-- Box Office News: Skyfall continues to rise, whereas Gerard Butler provides us with yet another bomb!
-- Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Man of Steel, Pacific Rim, The Lone Ranger, and more!
-- In Theaters This Week: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Pitch Perfect, Total Recall, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days, Resident Evil: Retribution, Trouble With The Curve, Premium Rush, Arbitrage, and Killer Joe

A READER WHO ISN'T GLENN SENDS STUFF IN!
-- From Mega Black Dude stevewille comes The Ten Worst-Reviewed Movies of 2012. Will Jope call every critic pretentious for hating on the horror movies? (joke shamelessly stolen from Steve as well)

-- Why do movies suck? Some guy has a theory
-- The 19th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards nominees have been announced
-- The BFCA have also announced nominees for the Critic's Choice Awards
-- Rumors of the Justice League's plot may or may not have been greatly exaggerated
-- Samuel L Jackson wants a piece of the new Star Wars
-- Meanwhile, Martin Sheen will return for the Amazing Spider-Man sequel
-- Fantastic Four is getting a reboot, currently scheduled for 2015. This gives us Star Wars Episode VII, Avengers 2, Justice League AND FF all in 2015. Shaping up to be a big year!
-- No thanks!
-- DOUBLE no thanks!
-- And lastly, because Glennie said it would be in the Walk, and then didn't include it, Some Guy has made a Twitter modernizing Seinfeld

And that brings us to this week's poll.

Do you like Kevin Smith movies?
Yes - KevOWN Smith
No - Kevin SMEHth

Friday, December 7, 2012

Have a Super Sparkly Fiesta!

Friendly Blog Reminders
-- If you're participating in the cWecret Santa, start looking for gifts! Remember that if you buy something, the limit is $20. I don't think we set a deadline for shipments, but from past experiences on other websites, I would expect some people to not receive their gifts until shortly after Christmas. Heck, at least have it shipped by New Year's!
-- I'm also hosting a College Football Pick Em on Yahoo. It can be found HERE. The password is cruise. As a special incentive to get people registered, I'm offering a FREE PRIZE for the winner!


.

.

.

Okay.

Last week I asked you if you missed the Fiesta during it's hiatus, and you picked up right where we left off by TYING THE DAMN POLL. 33% of you say your Dark Knight can rise again, while another 33% said you missed the Fiesta. You like me! You really like me and not Jope!



-- Box Office News: Girls flock to see future cWo Roundtable movie Twilight Part Whatever while Brad Pitt has one of his worst openings ever!
-- Trailer Time: Check out the new trailers for Warm Bodies, A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III, The Croods and more! Also some sort of movie involving treks among the stars, but that franchise should die out shortly now that Disney is making new Star Wars, so yeah
-- In Theaters This Week: Playing for Keeps
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Ted, Ice Age: Continental Drift and The Bourne Legacy

-- Screened updates us on Netflix's additions and subtractions
-- Speaking of Netflix, they've come to terms with Disney
-- Get your Hank Hill Butt Cheek Implants ready, because your butt will be sore if you're going to the movies this Christmas
-- Last week I brought you news of JAMES CAMERON filming the next Avatar in 48 frames per second. The Hobbit was also shot in 48 FPS, and early screenings made people sick. Peter Jackson's reaction: "Well it makes 3D look better, so fuck you" *grabs large dollar sign bags with WB logo*
-- Could Redbox be teaming with Verizon to go digital?
-- Does the Justice League movie have its villain? Free advice for people making this one: HOW HARD IS IT TO DO THE LEGION OF DOOM? Gives every member of the Justice League a baddie to fight, THEN they can use Darkseid in a sequel. Also remember that this thing is apparently set for 2015, which tentatively has Avengers 2 and Star Wars Episode VII, so if this one is thrown together, it stands no chance
-- Characters have been confirmed for the Amazing Spider-Man sequel. I'm not digging the choice for the villain :-/
-- Is an encyclopedia more useful than George Lucas?
-- Andy Serkis TALKS!
-- This week in Stupid Remake News: Jumanji!
-- For Noir: Freaks and Geeks REUNITES
-- For Our An-Day: Start planning your Rebooted X-Files Marathon for 2020

And that brings us to this week's poll.



What is your ideal film time?
1.5 hours or less
2 hours
2.5 hours
3 hours or more



Friday, November 30, 2012

The Young and the Fiesta


It's baaaaaaaaaaaack! Involvement with high school football is over,
so now I have NO EXCUSE to not bring you copy/pasted movie news each
week. Hold on, gonna go play a round of Halo 4 online, BRB.

...

...

Oh CRAP. Forgot about you guys!

Using the Internet Wayback Machine, I see that on October 7, I asked
you if you would sex up Kristen Stewart. In the new Friday Film Fiesta
tradition, you TIED. 31.2% of you would do her, while 31.2% would only
do her if she showed emotion. Maybe the joke's on us and she's really
just stuck in a glass case of emotion?



-- Box
office News
: It's a Thanksgiving miracle record!
Twilight Part Whocares and Skyfall dominate while
Rise of the Guardians is kinda
bombing

-- Trailer Time:
Check out new trailers for The Baytown Outlaws, I,
Anna
, Zero Dark Thirty, and more!
-- In Theaters This Week: Killing Them Softly
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: The Dark Knight
Rises
(it'll make your Dark Knight rise!), Hope
Springs
, and The Odd Life of Timothy Green

-- Netflix is updating
(and reducing) its catalogue
... catalog?
-- Movember ends today, so let's have a look at the Top
Ten Movie Mustaches

-- Since it's still on the first page, have MOAR THANKSGIVING;
Screened takes a look at television's best
Thanksgiving episodes

-- Sundance announces the list
of films
that will be competing in the 2013 film festival
-- Last week, Screened took a look at the 15th anniversary of Con
Air

-- Christopher Nolan discusses
The Dark Knight Trilogy
, mainly how The Dark Knight Rises
makes his Dark Knight rise. Hey, this is my last chance to make these
jokes!
-- Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan join the
cast
of X-men: Days of Future Past. Hugh Jackman is also in
talks to join

-- Pics of Jennifer Lawrence on a
beach
! You will be disappointed by what she is (or isn't) wearing
-- Remember Waterworld? It's
back
! In SyFy form!
-- Good
news
for JAMES CAMERON's Avatar fans
-- The
Top 5 Ridiculous Moments in Red Dawn
, all of which are
apparently better than the new movie!
-- And we close things out with Some Guy taking us on a tour of famous
movie locations:


And that brings us to this week's poll.

Did
you miss the Fiesta during its
hiatus?YesNoTeam
Jope
My Dark Knight can rise
again!

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Sunday Film Fiesta

Quickly and half-assed this week!

Two weeks ago, Lamar Smith asked you if the RNC incident soured you on Clint Eastwood, and 43.8% of you voted no.

-- Box Office News: Hotel Transylvania breaks records while Looper does not.
-- Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Movie 43 and A Good Day to Die Hard
-- In Theaters This Week: Frankenweenie, Pitch Perfect, and Taken 2
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Prometheus, Rock of Ages, and The Raven

-- A week ago, Glenn sent in a link informing the masses that FX is turning Fargo into a TV series
-- The new Godzirra will be realistic
-- They're already planning an extended Blu-Ray for The Hobbit
-- Headed to New York Comic Con? You can get a preview of The Dark Knight Returns Part 2
-- Sasha Baron Cohen likes women
-- Warner Brothers and Paramount come to terms
-- I leave you with TWILIGHT NUDITY

And that brings us to this week's poll.



Kristen Stewart: Would You?
Yes
No
Only if Robert Pattinson Watches
Only if Robert Pattinson Participates
Only if she shows emotion

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Lamar Smith Presents: The Sunday Screen Sopapilla!


Greetings, Blog of Doom Members and Savio Vega Fans!

Yes, the rumors of true, Representative Lamar Smith has returned! Savio Vega Fan Travis Banks (it still astounds me that you SOPA/PIPA hating cowards hide behind usernames) had to attend multiple football games this weekend, and decided to skip out on his Hispanic movie column. But like Joseph Cool, when I see opportunity, mainly opportunity to gain votes this close to election day, I snatch it up. And thus, the Sunday Screen Sopapilla has arrived!

Please note that this is a spinoff of the critically acclaimed Cinematic SOPApilla, which was brought to you by SOPA and PIPA!

Last week, Mr. Banks asked you who the best James Bond actor is, and you answered Sean Connery.



-- Box Office News: Nobody is going to see movies. I'd better check on illegal piracy numbers.
-- Trailer Time: Check out trailers for Sinister, Gambit and a new trailer for The Hobbit
-- In Theaters, not computers, This Week: The Master, Dredd, End of Watch, another "Clint Eastwood is an Old Angry Man Movie" aka Trouble With The Curve, and "Jennifer Lawrence Bounces Around While Wearing a Wifebeater" aka House at the End of the Street
-- Next Week's Notable DVD, not internet, Releases: The Avengers, The Samaritan, and Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Pt. 1

-- Screened takes a look at the tenth anniversary of Resident Evil
-- The Lone Ranger kills
-- Michael Bay discusses why you shouldn't illegally download Trans4mers
-- Get ready for a rebooted Looney Toons film
-- Roman Pelanski returns from directing child porn
-- Coming to ABC-TV: A Knight's Tale?

And that brings us to this week's poll.



Has the RNC Incident soured you on Clint Eastwood?
Yes
No
Meh


Saturday, September 15, 2012

The Hangover Part FFF

Ouch, my head...

I think we all partied a little TOO hard last week during the FFF One-Year Anniversary Fiesta. Hey, why is Mike Tyson's tiger in the bathroom? And why are Bart Simpson, Jay Leno and a monkey bathing Krusty the Clown?


One person I didn't see at the Fiesta was Good Ole Jope, who claims he couldn't make it because he had to go sell some cell phones.


Seriously, dude looks JUST LIKE Jope.

Last week I asked you to #settlethefeud and vote on who writes the better Fiesta, and not only did that NOT trend worldwide on Twitter, you DIDN'T #settlethefeud. The poll ended in a TIE, with both myself and Jope receiving 40% of the vote. The other 20 went to the Master of SOPApilla Baking himself, Representative Lamar S. Smith. Poor Brown Chiclets.



-- Box Office News: It's the worst weekend for theaters since 2008!
-- Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Lincoln, The Oranges, and You May Not Kiss The Bride
-- In Theaters This Week: Resident Evil: Retribution
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: The Cabin in the Woods

-- Box Office Mojo takes a look at the summer's winners and losers
-- Screened takes a look at L.A. Confidential
-- Mitt Romney wants a movie about himself?
-- Ever wanted to be like James Bond? Well here's your chance!
-- A Samurai Jack movie?
-- Extendiana Jones
-- James Cameron, the guy who claims he came up with the idea of Star Wars, tries to take credit for another franchise
-- Get ready for more Bourne and more Ted
-- No Director's Cut for The Dark Knight Rises
-- And finally, FOX News celebrates 007's 50th Birthday by declaring Goldfinger the best Bond movie. To make sure this was accurate, I turned to Our Boy An-Day for some ANDalYsis:

"FoxNews is owned by Fox, who owns Fox Movie Channel, which is going to show movies that are distributed by 20th Century Fox's Blu Ray department, so of course they're going to say great things about a James Bond movie. But at least they picked the best of the bunch- Goldfinger."

Welp!

And that brings us to this week's poll.



Who is the best James Bond?
Sean Connery
George Lazenby
Roger Moore
Timothy Dalton
Pierce Brosnan
Daniel Craig


Saturday, September 8, 2012

Friday Film Fiesta One Year Anniversary Fiesta

Welcome everyone to the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY SPECTACULAR of the Friday Film Fiesta!

Let's have some cake, shall we?


Yes, it was exactly one year ago this week that I rescued the Fiesta from the depths of obscurity after Brown Chiclets briefly rescued it from the depths of Jope. And what a year it has been! From SOPApillas to Real Steel puns to Dark Knight Rises penis jokes, the Fiesta has HAD IT ALL. Well, I don't think there's been any hardcore full frontal nudity, but that's why we look forward to the future!

Last week, Lou Holtz asked you if you were sad that Jersey Shore was canceled, and 50% of you voted no.

And hey, some special guests have turned out for the Fiesta's Fiesta!



Hey, you know the King of Prop Comedy can't resist a Fiesta! It's Carrot Top!


Straight from Thunderdome, it's Mad Max!


And here's Van Halen to sing a song written exclusively for the Fiesta's Fiesta!


Jope is Cryin'
Set to "Jamie's Cryin'" by Van Halen


He saw the new look Fiesta
When he turned on his computer
He had to get revenge
And it was now or never
It made him feel so sad
Oh, whoa, whoa, Jope is cryin'
Oh, whoa, whoa, Jope is cryin'

Now Jope wouldn't say all right
He knew they'd forget his column
When Jedi took off one night
He tried to make the column better
Shoulda sent him a complaint letter, uh yeah yeah
Uh, just to try to make himself feel better
It'd said "Gimme (Gimme another chance)"
But he knows what that'll get him

Oh, whoa, whoa, Jope is cryin'
Oh, whoa, whoa, Jope is cryin'

Now Jope's been in a theater before (Ahh-ahh)
And he knows what movies are for (Ahh-ahh)
They should mean a little, a little more (Ahh-ahh)
Than explosions. Woo!

(Guitar Solo)

Shoulda sent him a complaint letter, uh yeah yeah
Uh, just to try to make himself feel better
It'd said "Gimme (Gimme another chance)"
But he knows what that'll get him

Oh, whoa, whoa, Jope is cryin'
Oh, whoa, whoa, Jope is cryin'
Oh, whoa, whoa, Jope is cryin'
Oh, whoa, whoa, Jope is cryin'

Enough Jope bashing, let's get to the news!

-- Box Office News: Moviegoers are possessed by The Posession
-- Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for The Bay, Dorothy of Oz and Cloud Atlas
-- In Theaters This Week: The Words and Raiders of the Lost Ark IMAX
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Snow White and the Huntsman, What To Expect When You're Expecting and Teen Mom Season 2

-- RIP Michael Clarke Duncan
-- Screened previews the Toronto Film Festival, as does ComingSoon.net
-- Netflix was updated earlier this week
-- In news I missed during a bye week, the Avengers Phase 1 giant Blu-Ray briefcase was delayed due to a lawsuit by some briefcase making company. But good news, it's still coming out! The bad news is that it won't be until Spring 2013. So we'll ALL be buying the regular Avengers later this month.
-- News of a possible director's cut of The Dark Knight Rises makes my Dark Knight rise *audible groans from audience*
-- Remember that NBC pilot for Wonder Woman that failed miserably? The CW doesn't
-- Hope you like Daniel Craig!
-- How about a video game TV series?
-- Offer refused
-- What the WHAT
-- Screened takes a look at two movies this week, David Fincher's The Game and Kissing Jessica Stein
-- And last but not least, Harold and Kumar get a call from someone important

And that brings us to this week's poll.



Settle the feud. Who writes the best Fiesta?
Jope
Brown Chiclets
Jeditab
Lamar S. Smith



#settlethefeud

Friday, August 31, 2012

Lou Holtz Prethenth: The Friday Film Fiethta


Aw hey there, how are ya guyth doin'?

Lou Holtz here to hotht the Friday Film Fiethta thith week ath a way to thelebrate the beginnin' of the college football theathon! Oh and for the record, my pickth to with the Nathional Thampionthip include William and Mary, North Carolina Thtate, Arkanthas, Notre Dame and Thouth Carolina!

But only thoth thouthern pothterth care about college football, tho we're gonna have a great afternoon readin' about movie newth and other thtuff too!

Latht week you guyth were athked if you wanted movieth and TV thowth to have more theckth or violenth and you all anthered that you wanna be like Europe and have more theckth! Hey who dudn't?



-- Bockth Offith Newth: Nobody wanth to thee thith new crap in the theaterth!
-- Trailer Time: Check out new trailerth for That's What She Said, Bangkok Revenge, Pitch Perfect, The To Do List, The Company You Keep, and The Iceman
-- In Theaterth Thith Week: Lawless and The Possession
-- Necktht Weekth Notable DVD Releatheth: The Five Year Engagement, Safe, and Piranha 3DD

-- In TV newth, Jerthy Thore ith gonna end!
-- Thpeakin' of TV newth, ABC giveth the go-ahead for a pilot bathed on TH.I.E.L.D.
-- And what the heck, more TV newth, we got fall premiere dateth!
-- Thcreened taketh a look at Unforgiven twenty yearth later!
-- Go thee Avengerth again thith weekend, 'cauth they might add thome thuff after the credith!
-- A Nathional Football League movie?
-- A Metal Gear Tholid movie?
-- Michael Keaton will be the bad guy in Robocop!
-- Like The Goth? Heck, who dudn't? Well now he'th a director!
-- I'm gonna leave ya with a thneak peak at a movie that might have thome Dithney Channel nudity!

And that bringth uth to thith week'th poll.



Are ya thad that Jerthy Thore ith canceled?
Yeth! (fitht pumpth)
No! (dothen't fitht pump)
I prefer Robbie E and Robbie T


Saturday, August 25, 2012

Hey! Hi! Hellooooooo! Over here!

Remember this lil' column?

Good news for people not named Jope: my personal life seems to have
been sorted out for the time being, so LET'S FIESTA IT UP BRO.

Two weeks ago I asked you what the best Bob Hoskins movie is, and you
answered "Other" which I will assume is the movie I accidentally left
off the list, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

-- Box Office
News
: Expendables 2 wins the weekend, and if you saw it,
chances are you have a penis
-- Trailer Time:
Check out new trailers for movies such as Passion,
Butter, The Barrens, and The
Impossible

-- In Theaters This Week: Hit and Run, The
Apparition
, and Premium Rush
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Think Like A Man,
The Lucky One,
BATTLESHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- RIP
Tony Scott

-- Netflix has new
stuff

-- Wow, FOX turned into a hardcore porn network so gradually, I never even
noticed!

-- Eli Roth wants it to be Thanksgiving
-- The Hobbit: 48
frames per second

-- James Franco presents: Real
Gay Sex
?
-- Wait, people are being
charged for 3D glasses
?
-- Introducing The
Rebooteteer


And that brings us to this week's poll.



Should movies/TV contain more violence or sex?
More Sex; be like Europe!
More Violence; Have A Bloody Good Time
Both!
Neither

Friday, August 24, 2012

Let's Get Comical! - Miscellaneous Comics

Editor's Note: This was to be posted in late July but my role at the radio station has picked up, so here it is, slightly unfinished. I hope to one day catch up on comic reviews.

Another morning at the radio station means some random comic reviews!

This time I'll be working my way through two miscellaneous comics currently in my bag, Amazing Fantasy #15 and Justice League #10.


Friday, August 10, 2012

A Fiesta Fit For A King

Welcome to the Fiesta!

Time is short again this week, so let's get right to THE source for copy/pasted movie news!

Last week I asked you if The Hobbit needed to be a trilogy, and exactly one/third of you answered Bored of the Rings. I myself am in the process of rewatching the trilogy for the first time since 2004, and Fellowship is a lot less boring than I remember.



-- Box Office News: The Dark Knight Rises causes Dark Knights to rise for a third weekend in a row. Since the boner joke is worn out, next week will see the debut of NEW BLOOD RISING references, which literally nobody but FOTV and maybe Rinehart will find funny
-- Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Liberal Arts, Zero Dark Thirty, On the Road, Trouble with the Curve, Playing For Keeps, The Loft, 3 2 1 Frankie Go Boom and 17 Girls
-- In Theaters This Week: The Bourne Legacy and The Campaign
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: The Hunger Games

GLENN IS STILL THE ONLY ONE WHO SUBMITS:
-- Bane After Batman

-- Bob Hoskins retires from acting
-- Screened takes a look at the 45th Anniversary of Bonnie and Clyde
-- Remember ALF? He's back! In CGI form!
-- Behold the film autobiography of... Adam Carolla?
-- The Hangover Part III will feature at least one nipple
-- In "Well Duh!" news of the week, The Avengers 2 will wrap up Marvel's Phase 2 in May 2015
-- Teenage Mutant Delayed Turtles
-- Turk Ass
-- Bottom line, America? Unless you just have to have that trailer for Indiana Jones and the Emperor's Tomb, the 2003 Indiana Jones DVD box set is safe to get rid of
-- More Amnityville Horror is on its way
-- Speaking of horror movies...

And that brings us to this week's poll.



What is the best Bob Hoskins film?
The Long Good Friday
Mona Lisa
Hook
Super Mario Bros
Other


Friday, August 3, 2012

A Fiesta For The Senses

Welcome to the return of the HTML TEXT version of the Friday Film Fiesta!

Last week I had no time to do a proper Fiesta, but wanted to beat Glenn to the punch at a highly TOUTed column. Thankfully we had Twilight fans to make fun of, and we were able to TOUT on! TOUT ON, SON! TOUT ON!

Last week TOUT asked you if you planned to use their AMAZING, CREATIVE AND COMPLETELY RELEVANT services to post videos to the World Wide Web in hopes that they will be featured on Raw, and 100% of you answered YES.



-- Box Office News: The Dark Knight Rises continues to make people's Dark Knights rise *insert audible groans here*
-- Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Paranormal Activity 4, The Big Wedding, The Words, The Paperboy, and Killing Them Softly
-- In Theaters This Week: Diary of a Wimpy Kid 3 and Total Recall
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: The Lorax and Real Topless Fighting: French Wild Catfight

GLENN CONTRIBUTES; YOU DO NOT:
-- 2012: A Space Odyssey?

-- Here's a link that Glenn sent last week that I've also been sitting on since roughly the 4th of July, and 2012 WELPie Award Winner for Shittiest Poster of the Year cyke68 has finally inspired me to post it: Was The Amazing Spider-Man recut at the last minute? I still want to see the movie again to get a better opinion of it, but I thought it was a sort of hot mess, and this might explain why.
-- Get your dance shoes on because Screened is taking a look at the best dance movies
-- Screened also takes a look at the 20th anniversary of Newman seeing Sharon Stone's vagina
-- The Hobbit will now be its own trilogy. Isn't the book only like 300 pages? So a three hour movie for every 100 pages?
-- Jurassic Park IV is coming in 2014. Hopefully it doesn't suck like the other two sequels.
-- Lindsay Lohan films a topless scene while the crew literally rocks out with their cocks out
-- Remember when Cuba Gooding Jr. was in movies? If you see him working at your local Wal-Mart, please notify the authorities
-- Mother of God...
-- Alien gets another prequel
-- It's the story of a man named Vaughn, who is rebooting a series long gone
-- Here is your winner... and... NEW... Greatest Movie of All Time...
-- WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

And that brings us to this week's poll.



Does The Hobbit need to be a trilogy?
Yes
No, Prefer Original Two Movie Plan
No, Single Movie Would Suffice
More like BORED of the Rings


Friday, July 27, 2012

TOUT Presents: The Most Highly TOUTed Fiesta in History!

Welcome to the Most Highly TOUTed Fiesta in History! Presented by TOUT!


Last week TOUT asked you what you thought of The Dark Knight Rises, and it made your Dark Knight rise... which is what I would be saying if you hadn't voted on calling me out for reusing old jokes from December! But seriously, that will be the end of dick jokes. We have corporate sponsorship with TOUT after all!


TOUT would like to remind you that the following videos contain language that might be unsafe for work, so proceed with caution!

























And that brings us to this week's poll.




TOUT
Tout
Tout
Tout
Tout


Saturday, July 21, 2012

Fraturday Film Fiesta

Life does silly things to you, like prevent you from doing a Fiesta at the right time. So let's get to it!


Screw Jope.


Last week I asked you if you liked the new Q, and 60% of you answered that you preferred John Cleese as R to any variations of Q.


-- Box Office News: Ice Age tells the competition to FREEZE and CHILL out.
-- Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for The Master, Bachelorette and Man of Steel
-- In Theaters This Week: The Dark Knight Rises
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Silent House


-- You all have heard about this by now, but tragic news coming out of the TDKR midnight showings as an asshole decides to play real-life GTA, killing 12 and injuring much more. Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims. Christopher Nolan has also issued a statement on the shootings
-- 2012 Emmy Nominations have been announced
-- Screened also takes a look at John Woo's Hard Boiled
-- Marc Webb won't be returning for the Amazing Spider-Man sequel


Welp, slow news week I guess. Let's get to this week's poll.




What did you think of The Dark Knight Rises?
My Dark Knight rose
My Dark Knight failed to rise
This Nigga's Rising!
Enough dick jokes
You already used these jokes in December, asshole

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Let's Get Comical! - Batman Incorporated

Working at the radio station again today, which means more time for comics!

Random story: my training at the station involves me working on the Rush Limbaugh show. Our station airs his show live via satellite and during his commercials I turn the volume down on the satellite playing his ads and play our local ads. Rush is a big blubbering idiot who regularly runs past his alloted speaking time, so I've basically learned to tune his show out until they play the "ding" that signals that it's time for a commercial. Anyway, the past week, Rush has been complaining saying that the villain of the upcoming Batman flick The Dark Knight Rises, Bane, is a "liberal attack on Mitt Romney." I don't discuss politics, but how can you NOT think that's one of the stupidest things ever said?

That was a cool story, bro, I know, and I'll tell it again sometime but I thought it fit in here since I discuss comic books and Bane is a comic villain.

Now, let's review some random comics!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Let's Get Comical! - The Walking Dead

Remember when I used to do comic book reviews?

My life has taken a big step forward over the last month or so. After toiling in unemployment since I graduated in May 2011, in late June I finally received a "big boy" job offer from a local radio station doing part-time board op work. Yes, it isn't anything big, but it's a steady paycheck and it has a lot of room for advancement. And a 401k!

Look at me, sounding like a grown-up. Anyone who knows me knows I will always be a kid at heart.

Regardless, most of this job involves sitting around surfing the Internet, so since I don't have any schoolwork like all of the other board ops, I decided to use my time a little more wisely... getting caught up on comic book reading! My dream is to return to the weekly format I had before I fell terribly behind, but baby steps. For God sake, I still have Fantastic Four #600 to review, and I've been sitting on that since Thanksgiving!

Today we'll take a look at issues 98, 99 and the big 100 of The Walking Dead.


Friday, July 13, 2012

Stomach Virus Fiesta

It's Friday and I have developed a stomach bug, so yeah. While this is the first Fiesta where I've puked while writing it, this may or may not be the first Fiesta written while Pulling a Cyke. And if you don't know what that means, well I just can't help you.


COME BACK CYKE. And Baddie. But not you, Trump Card.


And it's Friday the 13th, so insert your own joke here. If Jope and I were still feuding, I bet he would talk about how many jokes he could make. So yeah.


Last week I asked you which new movie you wanted to see, and you answered Spider-Man.






-- Box Office News: Spider-Man shoots web all over the face of the competition!
-- Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Goats and Oz the Great and Powerful
-- In Theaters This Week: Ice Age: Continental Drift
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: The Three Stooges, Lockout and Casa De Mi Padre


-- Screened takes a look at the 25th Anniversary of Predator
-- And in honor of the new Ice Age, Screened looks at the best of animated films
-- Screened also asks why the future is always dystopian
-- Hunger Games fans: Here are some updates on the next few films
-- Rusty Griswold all grown up?
-- The new Q has been revealed. BRITISH HIPSTERS~!!!
-- No new DC Comics movies until 2015. Why does DC hate money?
-- Details on the super mega awesome Avengers Blu-Ray set


And that brings us to this week's poll.




Do you like the new Q?
Yes
No
Desmond Llewelyn 4 Lyfe
John Cleese as R was better


Friday, July 6, 2012

So Bad, Dudes: The CHAMPION

The big day is here! The Baddest Dude in Wrestling will be crowned, TONIGHT.

AND NOW

IT’S TIME

FOR SOME RUNNERS-UP




Just barely missing the tournament



BUFF DADDY

Also just barely missing the tournament, with two votes



DANIELS

Check out that botched top rope counter moonsault... thing!

And receiving one vote



THE ROCK

Guess who voted for him, at Number One no less? *cough* GLENN *cough*


And now, here’s Mike Tyson to present the Baddest Dude in Wrestling!



Mike: Now wait just a second here, you mean to tell me that you paid me millions of dollars to be the special guest emcee for this here tournament and so far you only have used me to say the phrase "You Will, Heartbreak" and only further planned to use me to crown a man the "Baddest Dude in Wrasslin”?

Umm, yes Mike!

Mike: Well that is unacceptable to me. Hand me the microphone, for I have prepared a song parody to highlight this momentous occasion.

"So Bad, Dudes"
A Song Parody by Mike Tyson
Set to "Paradise" by Coldplay


One day on the Blog of Doom
We all watched some wrasslin’
And we watched a bunch of dudes
That couldn’t wrassle well

They were so bad, so bad, So Bad, Dude
So bad, so bad, So Bad, Dude
So bad, so bad, So Bad, Dude
Every time they wrassled

One day on the Blog of Doom
We decided enough was enough
We would call out these So Bad, Dudes
And have a tournament

Sixty-five chosen
Just one winner
And you all voted for them
Then complained about results
But it was you who all voted for all these dudes
It was you who could have voted for other guys

They’re the
So bad, so bad, So Bad, Dudes
So bad, so bad, So Bad, Dudes
So bad, so bad, So Bad, Dudes,
Soooooo Baaaaaad

La la la la la la la
La la la la la la laaaaaaaaa
Look at this tattoo around my eye
We’ll crown the Baddest Dude in all of Wrassling tonight

So bad, so bad, So Bad, Dudes
So bad, so bad, So Bad, Dudes
So bad, so bad, So Bad, Dudes,
Soooooo Baaaaaad

So bad, so bad, So Bad, Dudes
So bad, so bad, So Bad, Dudes
So bad, so bad, So Bad, Dudes,
Soooooo Baaaaaad


Welp! Thanks, Mike!

AND NOW

IT’S TIME

TO REVEAL

THE WINNER

OF THE FIRST EVER SPRINGFIELD FILM FESTIVAL





GOD DAMMIT RUSSO

AND NOW

YOUR WINNER

WITH A SCORE OF 8 TO 4

IS



DINO


And there we have it folks, the Baddest Dude in Wrestling has been crowned. Many thanks to everyone who participated, from those who sent in nomination lists to those who voted. Even those of you who only voted in the first round. We still love you. And many thanks to those of you who read and complained about the results. And most of all, thanks for patiently waiting a month to see the result!

COMING SOON: Some sort of comic book movie tournament that someone who isn’t me will be running!

So maybe it won’t take a month to finish.

Fiesta of Honor

Welcome to the Fiesta!

Another half-assed week this week since I was finishing up the So Bad, Dudes tournament. I'm also still trying to find new websites to get movie news from since JoBlo absolutely SUCKS since their redesign.

Last week I didn't ask you guys anything. Why? BECAUSE I CAN.



-- Box Office News: Men want to see a movie about a teddy bear while women want to see a movie about strippers
-- Box Office 2s: Spidey breaks records!
-- Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Iron Sky, Compliance, and Jack Reacher, starring our newly single fearless cWo leader Tom Cruise!
-- In Theaters This Week: The Amazing Spider-Man, Katy Perry: The Movie, and Savages
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: American Reunion and Being Flynn

-- RIP Andy Griffith. Rumor has it that his last words were "Remind them to send in their WOTW lists to Glenn by 3 PM EST on Mondays!"
-- Screened has a number of special articles this week: First they take a look at stripping in movies, followed by the best of patriotic movies
-- Screened also continues their new feature of looking at historic films on their anniversaries. This week is Woody Allen's Annie Hall
-- Is Casablanca propaganda?
-- We're a week away from San Diego Comic Con, so what is everybody looking forward to? I see they fail to mention the REVENGE OF THE NERDS on toy companies, which is a rant I could post if anybody really cared enough for me to do so
-- Speaking of SDCC, here are the schedules for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday
-- The Hobbit heads to post-production
-- Updates on Marvel's next batch of movies
-- Pixar loves Easter Eggs, and here are two from Brave

And that brings us to this week's poll.



Which new movie would you rather see this weekend?
Spider-Man
Katy Perry
Savages


Wednesday, July 4, 2012

SBD: The Finals!

It's FINALly here! The So Bad, Dudes Finals!

After what seems like a month, probably because it's been a month, we are down to two. One of these men will be crowned the Baddest Dude in Wrestling. And one of YOU will complain! And An-Day will yell at me for not having time to finish the tournament write ups on time!

BUT ENOUGH CHATTER. BAD DUDES, NOW.

VS.

[1 RRTC] DINO BRAVO VS. [4 KFH] THE HARRIS BROTHERS

THEIR PATHS TO THE FINALS

DINO BRAVO

Round 1: def. The Big Show, 16-3
Round 2: def. Horace Hogan, 11-2
Round 3: def. Erik Watts, 10-1
Round 4: def. Hornswoggle, 8-7
Round 5: def. Nathan Jones, 8-5

THE HARRIS BROTHERS
Round 1: def. Matt Morgan, 14-3
Round 2: def. Sylvan Grenier, 10-3
Round 3: def. Heidenreich, 6-5
Round 4: def. Orlando Jordan, 8-7
Round 5: def. The Insane Clown Posse, 8-5

And so it comes down to this. Two (three?) wrestlers who dominated opponents early on, but fought hard for their spots in the finals. Dino Bravo defeated Nathan Jones in the Final Four, 8-5, while the Harrii defeated the ICP by the same vote.


Which of these wrestlers will Mike Tyson crown as the Baddest Dude in Wrestling? Only YOU can decide!

Send votes to tbanks531 AT gmail DOT com or via Facebook Message to Travis Banks (found in the cWo Group) by midnight YOUR TIME on Thursday evening, July 5! Votes that are not emailed or Facebooked WILL NOT COUNT. And while different time zones will be accounted for, late votes will not! So when the clock strikes midnight in Hawaii and their clocks say July 5, you're SOL... and you know what that means!

Friday, June 29, 2012

WWFFF In Your House 13: The SBD Final Four

Welcome to the FINAL Friday Film Diesta/So Bad, Dudes Tournament Mashup!

Apologies in advance, I’m half-assing the Fiesta this week due to real life. I’m now working two jobs AND I’m having to house sit for two houses. POOOOOOOOOOR ME, cool story bro, etc.

Today we’ll check out the goings-on around Hollywood as well as find out the FINAL FOUR of the So Bad, Dudes Tournament. So let’s get right to things.

Last week I asked you if you were glad that Dumb and Dumber To is dead, and 62.5% of you said yes.



-- Box Office News: Pixar reclaims its throne with Brave
-- Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Looper, Alex Cross, Red Hook Summer and Total Recall
-- In Theaters This Week: Magic Mike, People Like Us Ted, and Tyler Perry Presents: Madea's Witness Protection
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: ... nothing?

-- RIP Nora Ephron
-- We first begin with some breaking news from Glenn regarding a sequel to Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter!
-- Screened has a new feature where they look back at older films to see if they stand the test of time. This week they look at Andrei Tarkovsky's Solaris
-- The Avengers hits the $600 Million mark
-- Marvel's 2014 movie will be about The Guardians of the Galaxy
-- There can be only one... Ryan Reynolds?
-- Halle Berry is really lowering her standards by appearing in a WWE horror movie
-- The next Bourne movie has been pushed back

And now... for the SO BAD, DUDES FINAL FOUR

VS.

[2 FFTRRBR] NATHAN JONES VS. [1 RRTC] DINO BRAVO

Nathan Jones emerged victorious over Kurrgan, winning the Fight for the Right Reverse Battle Royal Match Bracket by a vote of 10-5. Meanwhile, Dino Bravo won the Russo's Revenge Triple Cage Match Bracket by ending Hornswoggle's Cinderella run by a vote of 8-7.

VS.

[15 PP] THE INSANE CLOWN POSSE VS. [4 KFH] THE HARRIS BROTHERS

The Insane Clown Posse wins the Punjabi Prison Match Bracket, continuing their Cinderella Run by upsetting overall number three seed The Great khali by a vote of 9-6. Meanwhile, the Harris Brothers won the Kennel from Hell Match Bracket by defeating Orlando Jordan 8-7.


There we have it, the Final Four. They've made it this far, but only one will be crowned the Baddest Dude in Wrestling!

Send votes via Facebook Message or to tbanks531 AT gmail DOT com by Midnight on Saturday June 30! Votes NOT sent in via Facebook or email WILL NOT COUNT! And while different time zones will be accounted for, late votes will not! If I receive your votes on July 1, you’re SOL... and you know what that means!

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

So Bad Elite Eight

The end is near, and we’re this close to crowning the Baddest Dude in Wrestling! But first, who advanced to the Elite Eight? Was it one of YOUR favorites? Least favorites?

CLICK BELOW TO FIND OUT!



THE FIGHT FOR THE RIGHT REVERSE BATTLE ROYAL MATCH BRACKET

VS.

[5] KURRGAN VS. [2] NATHAN JONES


Kurrgan arrives to the Elite Eight with a BANG~!!! (TM and Copyright Diamond Dallas Page, All Rights Reserved) by upsetting the overall number one seed of the tournament El Gigante/Giant Gonzales by a vote of 6-5. His opponent, Nathan Jones, continues his trek to a Land Down Under, defeating Mideon by a vote of 6-5 as well.

THE RUSSO’S REVENGE TRIPLE CAGE MATCH BRACKET

VS.

[1] DINO BRAVO VS. [10] HORNSWOGGLE


In the largest margin of defeat of Round 3, number two overall seed Dino Bravo destroyed Erik Watts by a score of 10-1 to advance to the Elite Eight. And despite Glenn’s ranting and abstaining from voting for the matchup, Hornswoggle SHOCKED the Shockmaster by a score of 6-4. Sitcom Fans everywhere nod their heads in approval.

THE PUNJABI PRISON MATCH BRACKET

VS.

[1] THE GREAT KHALI VS. [15] THE INSANE CLOWN POSSE


The Great Khali, the tournament's number three overall seed, makes an appearance in the Elite Eight having narrowly defeated David Flair 6-5. The 15th seeded Insane Clown Posse advanced past Uncle Elmer 8-3, in the matchup with the third largest margin of defeat.

THE KENNEL FROM HELL MATCH BRACKET

VS.

[4] THE HARRIS BROTHERS VS. [2] ORLANDO JORDAN


The Fighting Harrii upset number four overall seed Heidenreich 6-5 to make it here to the Elite Eight. Orlando Jordan, in the meantime, advanced past strongman Ted Arcidi 9-2 in the matchup with the second largest margin of defeat.


There we have it, the Elite Eight! Half of these So Bad, Dudes will lose, while the other half move on to the Final Four! Which ones will advance? The power is in YOUR hands!

Send votes via Facebook Message or to tbanks531 AT gmail DOT com by Midnight on Wednesday June 27! Votes not sent in via Facebook or email WILL NOT COUNT! And while different time zones will be accounted for, late votes will not! If I receive your votes on June 28, you’re SOL... and you know what that means!

Friday, June 22, 2012

MTV Presents: The FFF/SBD Super Sweet Sixteen!

Welcome to another joint edition of the Friday Film Fiesta and the So Bad, Dudes Tournament!

Today we will be unveiling the SWEET SIXTEEN of the So Bad, Dudes Tournament as well as checking out the latest news around Hollywood... like we do every week. So let's get to it!

There was no poll last week since I got Writer's Block after doing an insane amount of character writeups for the tournament.



-- Box Office News: Madagascar 3 continues its reign of Circus Afro, while Tom Cruise and Adam Sandler bomb despite the efforts of Andy's Pauly Shore Loving Friend
-- Trailer Time: New trailers released this week include Judge Dredd reboot Dredd, Taken 2, which features The Most Interesting Man in the World, and what should be a fantastic edition of the cWo Roundtable Series, the new Twilight sequel! And also Monster's University
-- In Theaters This Week: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Brave, and Seeking a Friend for the End of the World
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: 21 Jump Street, Wrath of the Titans, and Mirror Mirror

-- The big news of the week is Jim Carrey dropping out of Dumb and Dumber To, and the project being subsequently canceled
-- Screened asks why The Blair Witch Project is the best "found footage" movie
-- What happened to Adam Sandler?
-- WELP!
-- See The Amazing Spider-Man early!
-- Michael Bay discusses Trans4mers
-- Hockey Fans: Get ready for a Flyers movie directed by... Rob Zombie?
-- Disney is already facing several lawsuits over Brave
-- Sesame Street is heading to the big screen
-- In TV news, we have a slew of images from the next season of The Walking Dead and the next season of Breaking Bad

And that brings us to this week's poll.

Are you glad Dumb and Dumber To is dead?
Yes
No
There's still a chance!

And now, to the Sweet Sixteen we go!

THE FIGHT FOR THE RIGHT REVERSE BATTLE ROYAL MATCH BRACKET

VS.

[1] EL GIGANTE/GIANT GONZALES VS. [5] KURRGAN

The tournament’s number one overall seed El Gigante had a more difficult time making it to the Sweet Sixteen than you would think, only defeating the Boogeyman 8-5. His opponent is Kurrgan, who also defeated Kenzo Suzuki by a score of 8-5.

VS.

[11] PHINEAS I. GODWINN/MIDEON VS. [2] NATHAN JONES

The only So Bad, Dude named after a farm animal advances to the Sweet Sixteen after upsetting the third seed Reese/The YET-TAY by a vote of 8-5. His opponent is the second seeded Nathan Jones, who makes his way to the Sweet Sixteen after destroying Giant Silva 10-3.

THE RUSSO’S REVENGE TRIPLE CAGE MATCH BRACKET

VS.

[1] DINO BRAVO VS. [4] ERIK WATTS

Cyke’s obsession with the number two carries over to the man he supported to win it all, Dino Bravo. Not only is Dino the number two overall seed, he also makes it to the Sweet Sixteen winning the second most lopsided vote of the second round, defeating Horace Hogan 11-2. His opponent is Erik Watts, who barely survived Prince Albert-Train Tensai’s hentai wrath 7-6.

VS.

[11] TUGBOAT/TYPHOON/SHOCKMASTER VS. [10] HORNSWOGGLE

It’s a battle of double digit seeds in our next matchup. Typhoonboat SHOCKED THE WORLD by defeating Bastion Booger 7-6. His opponent, Hornswoggle, upset the 2 Seed Van Hammer by a vote of 8-5, giving Sitcom Fans yet another moral victory over the Butler Brothers.

THE PUNJABI PRISON MATCH BRACKET

VS.

[1] THE GREAT KHALI VS. [5] DAVID FLAIR

The tournament’s overall number three seed The Great Khali makes his way to the Sweet Sixteen after delivering a 9-4 brain chop to Zeus. It was so bad that Zeus’ eye went back to normal. He goes up against David Flair, who defeated Justin Credible 12-1 in the most lopsided vote of the second round.

VS.

[14] UNCLE ELMER VS. [15] THE INSANE CLOWN POSSE

In yet another upset, Uncle Elmer defeated higher seeded Tiger Ali Singh 7-6, while the Insane Clown Posse also upset 7 Seed Steve “Mongo” McMichael by a tally of 10-3, continuing their quest to find out just how magnets work.

THE KENNEL FROM HELL MATCH BRACKET

VS.

[1] HEIDENREICH VS. [4] THE HARRIS BROTHERS

Overall number four seed makes his way to the Sweet Sixteen by kicking Zack Gowen’s leg out from under his leg 8-5. The Harris Brothers, his opponents, proved that the world is NOT Sylvan, defeating, umm, Sylvan by a vote of 10-3.

VS.

[14] TED ARCIDI VS. [2] ORLANDO JORDAN

14 Seed Ted Arcidi continues his quest to the SBD Finals, coming to the Sweet Sixteen after defeating Prince Nakamaki. Meanwhile, Orlando Jordan SWERVED his way into a victory over Vince Russo. Presumably by doing something like this:



And there we have it, our Sweet Sixteen! VOTING ENDS ON SATURDAY, JUNE 23 AT MIDNIGHT! Send votes via Facebook Message or via email to tbanks531 AT gmail DOT com. Remember that votes posted on the Blog and not sent via email/Facebook WILL NOT COUNT! Also, while time zone differences will be accounted for, late votes will not! So if you send in your votes on June 24, you'll be SOL... and you know what that means!

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

So Bad, Dudes Tournament: Round 2

We are officially entering Week 3 of the So Bad, Dudes Tournament! Last week, the entire field of 64 So Bad Dudes was revealed, and much controversy arose over who made the tournament and who did not. But differences were put aside, and you voted 30 wrestlers into the Field of 32. Many thanks to wantedbadass for breaking the two ties!

Several matchups were close, with many outcomes decided by a single vote, while other competitors blew out their competition. Who moved on to Round 2? CLICK BELOW TO FIND OUT!

Email your votes to tbanks531 AT gmail DOT com, or send via Facebook Message. Voting for round two will be open until Midnight on Wednesday, June 20. Different time zones will be accounted for, but late votes will not, so once it’s Midnight in Hawaii, you’re SOL... and you know what that means!



THE FIGHT FOR THE RIGHT REVERSE BATTLE ROYAL MATCH BRACKET

VS.

[1] EL GIGANTE/GIANT GONZALES VS. [8] THE BOOGEYMAN

Despite receiving the highest number of preliminary votes, earning him the overall number one seed, El Gigante Gonzales barely edged out the 16th seeded Renegade by a vote of 11-9. His opponent, The Boogeyman, had a slightly less difficult time advancing past The Blue Meanie with a vote of 12-8. Now the Blog must vote for a winner in a matchup that pits a guy who likes to stick worms down people’s underwear against a guy who wears no underwear... he has airbrushed pubes, you pervs!

VS.

[5] KURRGAN VS. [4] KENZO SUZUKI

In another battle of So Bad, Dudes that barely made it past the first round, Kurrgan takes on Kenzo Suzuki. Kurrgan defeated New Jack by a vote of 12-8 while Kenzo Suzuki initially tied with Tank Abbott by a score of 10-10. But due to the final verdict of Special Guest Tiebreaker wantedbadass, Kenzo is the one who advances.

VS.

[11] PHINEAS I. GODWINN/MIDEON VS. [3] REESE/THE YETI

HOG’s brother PIG dominated Billy Gunn by a score of 18-2 en route to Round 2. His opponent, Reese, otherwise known as The Yeti, made it to the second round with the help of Special Guest Tiebreaker wantedbadass after an initial 10-10 tie with Loch Ness/Giant Haystacks. Both of these competitors have appeared in THQ/AKI wrestling games. Which one will you play as in the Sweet Sixteen?

VS.

[7] GIANT SILVA VS. [2] NATHAN JONES

Both Giant Silva and Nathan Jones showed lots of strength as they moved on to the Field of 32. Silva delivered a 17-3 Singapore Cane shot to the back of Tommy Dreamer, painful enough that Tommy did not ask for another. Meanwhile, Nathan Jones Gave Rock N’ Roll to the KISS Demon Dale Torborg, sending him home to Detroit Rock City with a tally of 15-5.

THE RUSSO’S REVENGE TRIPLE CAGE MATCH BRACKET

VS.

[1] DINO BRAVO VS. [8] HORACE HOGAN

Despite Jope’s best efforts, the Canadian Cigarette Mafia failed to prevent Bravo from advancing th Round 2. The number two overall seed had no problem dispatching of The Big Show, advancing with a score of 16-3. Horace Hogan had a much easier time advancing, defeating Alberto del Rio by a score of 15-4. It is assumed that somewhere, Ricardo Rodriguez wept while Hulk Hogan nodded his head in approval of Horace passing the test (a regular test, not Andrew Martin).

VS.

[5] PRINCE ALBERT-TRAIN TENSAI VS. [4] ERIK WATTS

The Blog of Doom’s Most Hated Wrestler 2012, Prince Albert-Train Tensai, barely escaped the babykilling warpath of Gene Snitsky, advancing by a 10-9 vote. This despite several people voting for Albert’s Blog of Doom alter ego Lord Hentai. His opponent, Erik Watts, sent Ken Kenderson to the ER with a broken everything after delivering a 13-6 dropkick to Kenderson’s shin region.

VS.

[11] TYPHOON/TUGBOAT/THE SHOCKMASTER VS. [14] BASTION BOOGER

Despite technically being the underdog, the Shockmaster SHOCKED THE WORLD by ramming Vampiro through a cardboard wall by a score of 11-8. Bastion Booger ate, belched, and farted his way to a 10-9 victory over Abyss. If Joseph Park, Esquire comes looking for me inquiring about the location of his brother and his disappearance from this tournament, then so help me God Blog, you can FORGET about me hosting the WELPies again next year.

VS.

[10] HORNSWOGGLE VS. [2] VAN HAMMER

Despite the power of the Brothers Butler, Sitcom Fans around the world got the last laugh as Hornswoggle advances to the second round, yo baby yo-ing PN News by a tally of 11 to 8. Meanwhile, YOUR favorite WCW/nWo Revenge character Van Hammer STASHed victory in his PRIVATE area, punching his ticket to the second round by beating The Miz 16-3.

THE PUNJABI PRISON MATCH BRACKET

VS.

[1] THE GREAT KHALI VS. [9] ZEUS/Z-GANGSTA

Overall number three seed The Great Khali had no problem advancing to the second round after a dominating 17-2 victory over Glacier that sent Ray Lloyd back to the Indiana Jones Stunt Show at Disney-MGM Studios. His opponent, the random Gotham City prisoner better known as Z-Gangsta Zeus, out-acted Ted DiBiase Jr. making his way into the second round with a score of 12-7.

VS.

[5] DAVID FLAIR VS. [13] JUSTIN CREDIBLE

In a battle of wrestling entrances, after ten minutes of spitting beer into the crowd and bashing himself in the head, The Sandman ultimately fell victim to the David Flair titantron and the Disappointed Ric Flair after a 15-4 decision. Justin Credible, however, had trouble advancing, defeating the Many Gimmicks of Edward Harrison Leslie 10-9.

VS.

[6] TIGER ALI SINGH VS. [14] UNCLE ELMER

Tiger Ali Singh advances to the second round after defeating Jinder Mahal in the BATTLE OF INDIAN ROYALTY with a score of 11-8. No doubt that Singh had to bribe voters into voting for him. His opponent is Uncle Elmer, who FRANCHISED AHAHAHAHAHAHA Shane Douglas back to Target with a score of 10-9. Now, squeal like a piggy.

VS.

[7] STEVE MONGO MCMICHAEL VS. [15] THE INSANE CLOWN POSSE

NEVERMIND THAT SHIT! HERE COMES MONGO to the second round after barely defeating Big John Studd 10-9. He takes on the Insane Clown Posse, brought to you by Psychopathic Records! The Posse also edged out their first round opponent Mabel/Viscera 10-9 after feeding him some magnets. Fucking voting, how does it work? Find out by sending me your pick to advance to the third round!

THE KENNEL FROM HELL MATCH BRACKET

VS.

[1] HEIDENREICH VS. [8] ZACH GOWEN

HEI DEN HEIDENREICH, the tournament’s number four overall seed Heidenraped his way to the second round past Bob Holly 15-2. But never fear, Heindenreich sent Holly some nice poetry about breaking wind in the Windy City after the fact. His opponent is Zach Gowen who EMBRACED THE HATE and hopped his way to the second round over Kane, also by a score of 15-2.

VS.

[5] SYLVAN GRENIER VS. [4] THE HARRIS BROTHERS

Bonjour! The Goodwill Ambassador for Quebec, Sylvan, makes an appearance in the Field of 32 after defeating The Godfather 13-4, proving that the world is, indeed, Sylvan. The Harris Brothers also advanced after using a Hydrogen Bomb to splice into Matt Morgan’s TNA DNA 14-3. But only one can move on!

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[6] PRINCE IAUKEA VS. [14] TED ARCIDI

The Artist Also Known As Prince Nakamaki just barely pulled out a victory over Shawn Stasiak in the first round, beating the former Meat by a score of 9-8. Ted Arcidi had less of a problem upsetting third seeded John Cena by a score of 12-5. Glenn gets his revenge on the Sitcom Fans!

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[7] VINCE RUSSO VS. [2] ORLANDO JORDAN

Our final matchup of the second round pits Vince Russo, who swerved his way into a 14-3 victory over Curtis Hughes, against Orlando Jordan, who used the POWER OF BISEXUALITY to scare redneck conservative Hillbilly Jim out of the tournament. Back to Sirius Satellite Radio you go, Jim! But who will advance to the third round?


And so we have it, the Field of 32 So Bad, Dudes! Who will make the Sweet Sixteen? VOTE and find out!

Again, email your votes to tbanks531 AT gmail DOT com, or send via Facebook Message. Voting for round two will be open until Midnight on Wednesday, June 20. Different time zones will be accounted for, but late votes will not, so once it’s Midnight in Hawaii, you’re SOL... and you know what that means!