Friday, March 29, 2013

Fiesta Farewell Friday (April Fools 2013)

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

And yes, I've been fooled twice by the Blog. Some of you might seem to remember a little thing called the Welpies that I busted my ass to write last year. I decided to be kind and do it again this year, because dammit, despite draining me mentally, it was a lot of fun to write, as I'm sure it was a lot of fun to read. I should have known things were going to go bad this year when I had to delay the deadline for voting because only SIX PEOPLE sent in votes. But naive little Jeditab figured that was just a fluke and that it wouldn't happen again.

It did.

Remember how last Friday I asked you to send in your shit that you guys had a week to write? Imagine my face when I woke up Saturday and had NOTHING in my inbox. NOTHING. You people had ONE JOB TO DO and you couldn't even do that. Pooooooor me, I need more time to watch some Internet TV show while going to my Internet job! Heaven forbid I use the Internet to take 5 seconds to write two or three sentences! Well guess what, thanks to y'all's laziness, we didn't have a Welpie awards. Pat yourselves on the back, everyone!

Of course once I set up a bitching post, I got wave after wave of crap, but alas, it was too late. In fact, I'm STILL waiting on shit from BBH, so if he ever decides to send his stuff in, then I'll post the show. It's REALLY FUCKING GOOD, but you'll never see it as of right now! And for those who keep bothering me, if you sent me something, I've gotten it. I won't name names since I DO believe in kayfabe and don't want to spoil the show, but I will call out the lone person responsible for the show still being delayed.

So here's the deal - if you guys are going to make up lame excuses and send in half-assed crap (the only person who is forgiven is Glenn), then I too am going to be "too busy" to participate in the Blog despite being around the Internet for most of my day. Consider this my resignation from the Blog. If somebody wants to take over the Fiesta, be my guest. Send in WOTW votes and claim to be me? Knock yourself out. I'm gone, I don't care.

I'm not a total asshole, however. If BBH sends me the stuff I need for the Welpies, I'll post the show. I will also be making an appearance at the end of the Final Four/NCAA Tournament to get the address of the person who wins our Blog of Doom bracket tournament on Yahoo so I can send them their prize. But other than that, so long.

If you want to contact me, I'm on Facebook, or you can get my phone number from Andy. But don't expect me to bust my ass for you guys ever again.

And just to end on a positive note, here's some link Glenn sent me for the column this week. Speaking of Glenn, good luck carrying the Blog single handed, Mr. Bun. You're going to need it.


And with that, the Jeditab Era comes to an end. Jope wins, I guess.

So long from the Lone Star State.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Beware the Ides of March


Et tu, Brute?

I once had a teacher that made us read Julius Caesar in March because of the Ides, and in typical high school fashion, we got to act it out during class. I was Brutus... and then I stabbed the guy! Then I went back to thinking about Wrestlemania because that was back when the hype made you want to actually see the show. Wasn't yet old enough to drive or have money, so it was all there was to do!

This Cool Story has been brought to you bros by the Vote Fiesta for Column of the Year WELPie Committee.

Last week I asked you who the better War Machine is and you answered Don Cheadle. Considering my not-as-controversial-as-I-thought-it-would-be comment about the Wizard of Oz, I should have asked something about that.



-- Box Office News: If you ignore all the other movie earnings last weekend, the WWE production Dead Man Down was a box office success! And if Michael Cole says it's awesome, you know it's true!
-- Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Scary Movie 5, Tomorrow You're Gone, and more!
-- In Theaters This Week: The Call and The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: The Hobbit, Les Miserables, Zero Dark Thirty, and This Is 40

I am, therefore I Glenn:
-- What would you put in a movie theater museum?
-- Glenn wants you to know about the Kick Ass 2 trailer
-- Glenn also wanted to be the first to inform you of the Veronica Mars movie kickstarter, but YOU RUINED IT, R8DR. YOU RUINED IT. WHY DO YOU HATE THINGS, R8DR?

-- So farewell Then, Steven Soderbergh
-- A more efficient way to search for Netflix movies?
-- Speaking of Netflix, they have some new competition
-- That's my movie role, and come this Sunday, I'll be needing it back
-- Will we see The Most Electrifying Episode in Star Wars Entertainment? in 2015?
-- OH GOD WHY
-- Sounds like Disney is rebooting Beauty and the Beast
-- Imagine if Game of Thrones was made in the 90's. Now imagine if the Walking Dead was made in the 90's.

And that brings us to this week's poll.


Do you like the Batista casting in Guardians of the Galaxy?
Yes
No
I don't watch movies with wrestlers
I only watch WWE Films films



Content Note: There may or may not be a Fiesta next week if I need extra time to sit around and do nothing write the WELPies. If there is no column, enjoy the movie InAPPropriate Comedy, which looks as if it will be a box office smash and win lots of prestigious awards!

Friday, March 8, 2013

Oz: The Fiesta and Powerful

Yo Sup, remember to vote in the 3rd Annual Welpie Awards. You are probably nominated! A list of nominees along with details can be found HERE.


Put your ruby red slippers on, grab some courage and get ready to beat the crap out of some flying monkeys because it's OZ week here at your jolly ole Fiesta!

Okay, just kidding. CONFESSION TIME: I do not care for The Wizard of Oz. We're actually broadcasting LIVE FROM AUSTRALIA THIS WEEK! G'DAY MATES!


Jope is a bogan, Andy is a sook, and I'm planning on getting gutted sometime this weekend after I eat off of the barby! Oy!

Last week, I asked you which 90210 was better, and you tied saying both Beverly Hills 90210 and Meh at 41.7 percent each.



-- Box Office News: Obi-Wan and the Beanstalk climbs up the monetary beanstalk HAR HAR HARDY F'N HAR. In other news, look for Nicholas Hoult to star in everything for the next year, and then go away, just like his predecessors Sam Worthington and Jeremy Renner!
-- Monthly Box Office Report: You did not see the movies Hollywood wanted you to see
-- Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Iron Man 3, The Hangover Part III, Rapturepalooza, Much Ado About Nothing, and more!
-- In Theaters This Week: Oz: The Great and Powerful and Dead Man Down
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Life of Pi, Rise of the Guardians, and Hitchcock

LINKS GLENN SENT ME LAST WEEK THAT STUPID ME FORGOT (plus some from this week):
-- Just how do those sound editors edit that sound?
-- Movies are happening! Maybe!
-- Read me this article, it's the one that says Pulp Fiction on it

-- Netflix gets updates! And takeaways!
-- ComingSoon previews films to be shown all week at South by Southwest. As a resident of Austin who has to deal with SXSW crowds every year, I say STOP COMING TO MY CITY AND MAKING TRAFFIC EVEN WORSE!
-- The Tribeca Film Festival announces its full film roster
-- A university study shows that the closing of Megaupload positively affected digital movie sales. It certainly stopped me from downloading from that awesome RAW archive posted here a long time ago
-- Could the Justice League movie be seeing some early justice against bad film making?
-- Here's a look at how Disney purchased Lucasfilm
-- Speaking of Star Wars, the main characters are coming back, allegedly
-- Check out Sofia Vergara's hawt bewbage
-- Next time you want to write a story, follow Pixar's rules if you want it to be successful
-- Terrence Howard Sez: Iron Man killed my career
-- HULK NO SMASH
-- The Chinese Gonna China
-- Jon Stewart will be taking a break from the Daily Show to direct
-- Sam Mendes will not return for Bond 24
-- We close with MTV attempting to do something involving movies

And that brings us to this week's poll.


Who is the better War Machine/Rhodey?
Terrence Howard
Don Cheadle
Meh


Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Let's Get Comical! - Week of March 6, 2013

Another week, another Wednesday, another release of new comic books!

yet another light load this week with only two pickups. Loving these light weeks, as otherwise I'd still be buying Green Lantern, Superman, and like 3 other DC series I just have no interest in reading. Plus it's much, much lighter on my wallet. Would you rather drop $6-8 dollars weekly or $20-30? Thought so.

This Week's Pickups:

- Superior Spider-Man #5
- Legends of the Dark Knight #6

Beware of Spoilers, as usual!

Friday, March 1, 2013

NO GIMMICKS NEEDED FIESTA

Hey fools, remember to send in nominees for the WELPie Awards by 11:59 PM CST tonight! NO EXCEPTIONS. Find a list of nominees in last week's Fiesta because it's not that hard to scroll down some, click a link and then scroll down some more.

Oh and send them to tbanks531 AT gmail DOT com or via Facebook



Welcome to a version of the Fiesta that NEEDS NO GIMMICKS.

Which in itself is a gimmick. BUT WHO CARES.

Last week I asked you if you were going to watch the Oscars and over 60 percent of you answered no.



-- Box Office News: Great news for fans of the hit film Identity Thief, which is pretty much everyone but R8DR!
-- Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Planes, The Conjuring, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2, Erased, and more!
-- In Theaters This Week: 21 and Over, Jack the Giant Slayer, Stoker, and The Last Exorcism 2
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Wreck It Ralph, Red Dawn, and Playing For Keeps

-- Screened takes a look at the original Planet of the Apes
-- Speaking of Planet of the Apes, Gary Oldman will be fighting those damn dirty apes in the Rise sequel!
-- No new Hulk movies are on the horizon
-- Flags at half staff everybody: 90NEW10 has been canceled, thus proving that Aaron Spelling's 90210 is the superior 90210
-- The third Hobbit has been delayed
-- Apparently there's still going to be a third Ghostbusters
-- Here's a lost documentary about The Empire Strikes Back
-- Spider-Man News: They casted a girl! And a guy! And a new suit!

And that brings us to this week's poll.



Which 90210 was better?
Beverly Hills 90210
90210
Melrose Place
Meh