Friday Film FiMEHsta

Welcome to the Fiesta! Or in this case, another edition of the FiMEHsta. So meh, in fact, that I have no witty intro, nor can I come up with any Anti-Jope Fiesta remarks!

Last week I asked you if you planned on watching Cartoon Network's new Batman cartoon, and you answered that you would rather watch Batman: The Animated Series.



-- Box Office News: Ugh
-- Trailer Time: Mansome, Stash House, The Road, Hotel Transylvania, Lawless, Hope Springs, Hick, Elena, Hide Away, Peace, Love, and Misunderstanding, This is 40, and G.I. Joe: Retaliation
-- In Theaters This Week: The Five Year Engagement, Pirates: Band of Misfits, The Raven, and Safe
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Haywire, Joyful Noise, and the BBH Approved comedy New Year’s Eve

-- From Glenn: Movie Mimic
-- Summer Movies in chart form! Who doesn't love a good chart?
-- Texting in theaters is... okay?
-- The Huffington Post looks at 11 actors and actresses who can't keep their clothes on in movies. Where is Malin Akerman?
-- 48 Frames Per Second: The Future of Film?
-- Gina Carano: The Actor?
-- Details on Anchorman 2!
-- They’re already planning a sequel to the Spider-Man reboot
-- Details on Iron Man 3
-- Details on Pixar’s next film
-- Disney also confirms The Muppets 2
-- Last year’s REAL movie of the year (Screw Potter) is getting a sequel
-- The Avengers is going to make lots and lots of money

And that brings us to this week’s poll.



When will you see The Avengers?
Midnight Opening
Opening Weekend
Shortly After Release
Waiting for DVD
Never

Let's Get Comical Update

Yes, I have two months worth of comics to read, and YES I plan on reviewing them. I just don't know if I'll do issue by issue like normal or just group them together or what. But rest assured, reviews are coming.

Unless I have a shot at getting laid again.

No Fiesta Gets Higher

Woo hoooooooo maaaaannnnn, it's April 20, aka 4/20, so time to smoke some ass duuuuuuuuuude!

Yes, it's STONER HUMOR. I guess. I don't smoke, and it's better than the alternative of Hitler Humor (today is Hitler's Birthday), so yeah.

This is normally where I would insert some sort of comment about how much better MY Fiesta is compared to the crap we got from Jope, but it’s 4/20, so I’m going to take the HIGH road and not say anything mean this week.

So instead, enjoy a terrible Rob Van Dam theme! RVD 4:20!



Last week I asked you if you thought it was time to reinvent the MPAA Ratings System, and 54.5 percent of you answered “no.”



-- Box Office News: Hunger Games becomes the first movie to remain at #1 for four weeks in a row since Avatar
-- Trailer Time: The Philly Kid, Area 407, Tyler Perry Presents: Madea's Witness Protection, Dangerous ISHHQ, Your Sister's Sister, Goodbye First Love, Virginia, Magic Mike, Cosmopolis, Ruby Sparks, and High School
-- In Theaters This Week: Chimpanzee, The Lucky One, and Think
Like A Man
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Contraband and Pariah

-- Old Fiesta Writer Jope sends along an article about Anthony Hopkins looking exactly like Alfred Hitchcock, which was subsequently posted by R8DR on the Blog already. Normally I would lie and give credit to R8DR or Glenn or anybody BUT Jope, but remember, I'm taking the HIGH road this week. You go, Jope!

-- RIP Dick Clark
-- Coming Soon: A "re-imagining" of The Rockford Files starring Vince Vaughn
-- Also coming soon, a Disney "re-imagining" of Indiana Jones! Set in Hawaii! Which seems rather pointless considering that Indiana Jones was basically a ripoff of James Bond, and we already HAVE James Bond running around in exotic settings set in the modern times. Oh, here I go with my ranting again.
-- Saw: The Cruise!
-- Our Fearless Leader Tom Cruise needs a director for Mi55ion Impo55ible
-- We have a new photo from the set of Star Trek 2!
-- Never fear, LEO~! will soon be back in another awesome movie!
-- James Cameron wants more Arnold, less John Connor in the next Terminator movie
-- More cool redesigned movie posters
-- The Amazing Cheeseburger Eater!
-- Prometheus goes viral, and then goes viral again!
-- Sing Along with Jack Black?
-- I know that the Fiesta is supposed to cover film news, but sometimes we talk about TV. Commercials air during TV shows, and some commercials have attractive females in them. Most of the time we don't know who these attractive females are. Until now.
-- Speaking of TV, how will Michael Cera be returning to yours?
-- And for more non-film news, Green Day announces THREE newCDs. First of all, GREEN Day lolzers GET IT LOLOL 4/20 Earth Day. Second of all, WHY?
-- And we end with a teaser for Cartoon Network's new Batman cartoon. I say this every time we get a new Batman cartoon: save the cash and just re-air Batman: The Animated Series instead. That way EVERYONE wins. Especially me, since I can watch the show on TV, then watch the DVDs.

And that brings us to this week's poll.

Will you watch the new Batman animated series?

Yes
No
BTAS 4 lyfe
I'm a Marvel, not a DC

Insert Friday the 13th Reference Here

It’s another FFF on Friday the 13th!

What were you expecting me to say? I’m not a horror buff. Ask Jope for a joke or reference, since he apparently does this column so much better.

Last week I asked you if you would watch the upcoming Hellraiser TV series, and 46% of you voted no.

-- Box Office News: The Hunger Games wins again, while nobody paid money to see Kate Winslet’s boobs in 3D
Trailer Time: Dragon Eyes, Nesting, Elles, American Animal, The Broken Tower, The Magic of Belle Isle, Late Bloomers, Looper and LOL
-- In Theaters This Week: The Cabin in the Woods, Lockout, and The Three Stooges
-- Next Week’s Notable DVD Releases: Shame and Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

-- 15 movies that should have starred Nicolas Cage
-- Last week it was reported that Hunger Games director Gary Ross would not be returning to direct the sequel. LOL JK
-- But he was supposed to play Vulture!
-- The Dark Knight Rises gets a rating
-- Empire takes a look at Prometheus. SOILERS AHOY
-- Speaking of Prometheus and the MPAA, Ridley Scott MAD
-- Sabrina the Teenage Witch is the latest property set to be re-imagined
-- Details on Anchorman 2, and then some!
-- Tumblr brings us Hipster Disney posters. I guess. I’m still not quite sure exactly what a Hipster is
-- Apparently we’re getting a Sin City sequel
-- Earlier in the column it was reported that Edgar Ross might direct the Hunger Games sequel after all. LOL JK

And that brings us to this week’s poll.

Is it time to reinvent the MPAA Ratings System?

Yes
No
Abolish It Altogether

The Fiesta Has Risen

No need to adjust your calendars, it IS April 6, 2012, and this IS the Friday Film Fiesta. Last week’s Fiesta from 1994 was a joke, a joke that was specifically designed to make you all look like fools. April fools, if you will.

Actually, creating an April Fools edition of the Fiesta has been an idea of mine since roughly week three of my taking over of the column. The hardest part was finding articles that coincided with the week, and also finding VHS release dates. Glad it got over with everyone!

Well, everyone except Jope “I hate gimmicks and I’m jealous of jeditab’s entertaining Fiestas” McJoperton.

Two weeks ago, I asked you what your favorite CBS television show was, and you answered other. Good show, that one is!

-- Box Office News: A bunch of new shit can’t dethrone The Hunger Games
-- Trailer Time: Sparkle, The Sweeney, Bad Ass, To Rome With Love, Total Recall, Bel Ami, Trishna, Ted, Take This Waltz, High School, Here, Lola Versus, Transit, Savages, and A Fantastic Fear of Everything
-- In Theaters This Week: Titanic 3D, American Reunion, and Damsels in Distress
-- Next Week’s Notable DVD Releases: The Iron Lady, and The Darkest Hour

We begin with a plethora (sorry, AP Stylebook) of links from the Golden One from the past few weeks:
-- Who will play Eric Young?
-- Titanic is inaccurate!
-- Three Reasons: Kindergarten Cop
-- Aladdin exposed!

-- The 32nd Annual Razzie Awards took place over the weekend, and in a shocking shock to end all shocking shocks, Adam Sandler cleaned house! Glenn also sends along Entertainment Weekly’s take
-- Speaking of Adam Sandler, he’s going to summer school. But will it be better than Jack and Jill?
-- Meet the new Steve Jobs! BURN!
-- GQ, during an interview with Shaq, finds out the REAL reason behind Kazaam
-- Robert Englund discusses the never-made Nightmare on Elm Street prequel
-- Halloween: Directed by Michael Bay!
-- Hellraiser is getting a TV series
-- Get ready for a Dumb and Dumber sequel
-- Hope you like the Daniel Craig version of 007
-- In news that will please Twilight fan Lamar S. Smith, Taylor Lautner is joining the cast of Grown Ups 2
-- Check out the new Superman logo
-- No! No! No!
-- Captain America 2 gets a release date
-- Gary Ross is not going to direct any more Hunger Games sequels

And that brings us to this week’s poll.

Will you watch the Hellraiser TV series?

Yes
No
Depends on the channel
Good song, Ozzy rules