Let’s go back to March 2012. The 37th Annual WELPie Awards. I won a WELPie for my use of Thomas the Tank Engine avatars. While I was honored to win the award, it also hit me that perhaps I spend too much time on the Internet. So I decided to step away and post less, focusing on improving my social life. This includes seeing movies such as The Avengers.
Then here comes this guy Jope who thinks he’s so cool because he fills in for me when I am unable to write the Fiesta (my second missed column of the year, with the first being canceled due to the WELPies, thank you very much). Jope presents the biggest piece of shit of a column I’ve ever seen on the Blog (and that’s saying something), and you people EAT IT UP WITH A SPOON.
Let’s briefly take a look at why Jope's Fiesta was more of a FAILesta:
-- No Box Office News. How are the people supposed to find out how much money Think Like A Man made?
-- No Movie Release list. How are the people supposed to know what they can see in the theaters that weekend?
-- No DVD release list. How are the people supposed to know which new DVDs they can purchase next week?
-- Only a handful of trailers listed in Trailer Time. Granted that’s my least favorite part of the column too, but at least I show EVERY new trailer.
-- Use of link shorteners. At least you can SEE where my links take you. What if Jope was trying to send you to a NSFW Web page while you were at work?
In conclusion, Jope is poopy, and so are YOU for posting in his threads. That’s right, HEEL TURN ON THE BLOG.
Last week Jope was going to ask you some sort of question, but his worthless ass couldn’t even get the poll to work. How does this guy write columns when he can’t even master simple HTML?
-- Box Office News: The Avengers made A LOT of money
-- Trailer Time: The Art of Rap, Neil Young Journeys, Argo, Killer Joe, Crazy Eyes, The Tortured, Gangster Squad, The Odd Life of Timothy Green, and The Campaign
-- In Theaters This Week: Dark Shadows
-- Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Chronicle, The Devil Inside, The Grey, One for the Money, Albert Nobbs, and Rampart
We begin with links sent in by Glenn, who is better than Jope:
-- Jar Jar Binks explained!
-- The 40 Coolest Movie Posters
-- A Found Footage Christian Movie?
-- So listen, Arthur, closely to this news: We won't succeed on Broadway, if you don't have any Jews
-- Disney has already begun development on The Avengers II
-- Rotten Tomatoes previews this summer's indie films. Jope will probably bitch about how mean ole Spider-Man and Batman are preventing his theaters from showing these movies
-- Breaking news on The Lizard's penis
-- Oh how far Michael Madsen has fallen
-- James Cameron is IN THE BUSINESS~!!!
-- Apparently we're getting Kick Ass 2
-- Presenting the Oliver Stone Experience!
-- Gary Busey and The Hoff join forces to hype Piranha 3DD
-- Spidey Interviewin' Spidey
-- Here comes another Stephen King movie
-- Oh, no
-- OH DEAR GOD NO
And that brings us to this week's poll.
Do you actually read A Bloody Good Time?
No
No
No
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