Sunday, July 5, 2015

Late Holiday Fiesta

Welcome to the Fiesta! Sorry to break up the thrilling discussion and record amount of posts, but I feel it was time for a new thread.

This should have been posted BEFORE all of the American holiday festivities, but of course Reddit (where I get all of these links I copy and paste into this column) decided to black itself out because some admin got fired. Now, I COULD have gone and gathered the links myself, but why work when someone else does it for you?

Last week I asked you what current event you wanted Ben Affleck to make a movie about, and you answered something foreign and un-American.

  • Box Office News: People are still flocking to theaters to find out the fate of the British Assistant character in Jurassic World
  • Check out new trailers for Creed, The Secret In Their Eyes, and more!
  • In Theaters This Week: Magic Mike XXL and Terminator: Genisys
  • Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: ... literally nothing I've ever heard of

  • In honor of the new Terminator movie, Entertainment Weekly attempts to follow the entire timeline
  • The Church of Scientology is threatening anyone who attempts to show a new Scientology documentary
  • Zack Snyder is still defending Man of Steel's ending
  • This Week in Sequel News: Top Gun 2 is confirmed
  • Now you have even more of a reason to visit Peter Jackson's house
  • Even Terminator: Genisys higher-ups think the trailers gave too much away
  • Mortal Kombat and Enter The Dragon are the exact same movie
  • Friday, June 26, 2015

    I Do, I Do, I Doohoo

    Welcome to the Fiesta, this week with 100% more legal gay marriage! The catch is that your marriage might only last three minutes, and will be officiated by this man:

    Last week I asked you nothing.

  • Box Office News: Dinosaurs apparently have no feelings when up against feelings
  • Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Legend, Sleeping With Other People, and more!
  • In Theaters This Week: Max and Ted 2
  • Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Get Hard

  • In a link I accidentally left out of last week's Fiesta, Glenn sends in a great article taking a look at how a movie catches on with the public

  • RIP James Horner and Dick Van Patten
  • Hollywood has a pedophile problem
  • Meet the new Spider-Man (who, by the way, will debut in next year's Captain America: Civil War)
  • Creationists beware: A Disney movie about Charles Darwin is coming
  • Speaking of Disney, they have passed $1 billion in grosses in the United States
  • Coming Soon, already: a film about the FIFA scandals, directed by Ben Affleck
  • The Rock's next opponents: a gorilla, a lizard, and a wolf
  • Star Trek 3 has begun filming
  • 21 book franchises that never caught on
  • Toshiro Mifune is getting his own Walk of Fame Star
  • The Essential List of NC-17 Films (NSFW, I assume as I write this from work)

    And that brings us to this week's poll.

    What current event would you like Ben Affleck to make a movie about?
    Gay Marriage Ruling
    Church Shooting/Confederate Flag Drama
    New York Prison Escape
    Bruce Jenner Becomes Caitlyn Jenner
    Something Foreign and Un-American

  • Friday, June 19, 2015


    Sorry for last week's absence. I was housesitting for my parents and had a million things to do and literally forgot about the column until Monday morning. Been dealing with malware lately too. My dumb ass downloaded some shit a few weeks back and despite using 8 billion malware removal tools, the crap keeps coming back. TECHNOLOGYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

    Two weeks ago I asked if you want Tron 3, and you answered no.

  • Box Office News: Jurassic World sets the record for the largest opening weekend ever
  • Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Kung Fu Panda 3, Sicario, and more!
  • In Theaters This Week: Dope and Inside Out
  • Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: The Forger and Survivor

  • Cancer sucks
  • San Diego Comic Con has become too mainstream for several movie studios
  • As you read in this week's Wednesday Walk, China just got the Star Wars movies for the first time. My personal favorite part of this article is the quotes from the moviegoers referring to the cast as "ugly"
  • Speaking of Star Wars, Forest Whitaker is on his way to the GFFA
  • Come with me if you enjoy charity
  • LEO and Warner Brothers will be teaming to bring us a film version of a popular Japanese graphic novel
  • Halloween returns in Halloween Returns
  • Ten years (!) after the release of Batman Begins, take a look at what we were supposed to get instead

    No poll this week because lazy.
  • Friday, June 5, 2015

    A Fiesta on Friday?!?

    Welcome to the Fiesta! On a Friday? Weird! And here you thought last week was an anomaly after all of the Saturday/Sunday Fiestas posted in April and May. I'm always keeping you on your toes.

    Last week I asked you how happy of a birthday you thought I would have last weekend, and you answered who?

  • Box Office News: A goofy disaster movie starring a part-time wrestler is actually a winning combination!
  • Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for The Good Dinosaur, Z For Zachariah, and more!
  • In Theaters This Week: Entourage, Insidious Chapter 3, and Spy
  • Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: The DUFF, Kingsman: The Secret Service, Project Almanac, and Serena

  • RIP Betsy Palmer
  • You probably (haven't) heard of last week's new flick Aloha, which casts Emma Stone as an Asian-American
  • The rights to 007 films will be up for grabs after Spectre, so start saving your cash now!
  • Tron 3 will not be a thing. Some people think Disney should reconsider
  • Aquaman has a new director in James Wan
  • Stephen King's The Dark Tower will soon be a movie
  • Who knew Tom Cruise had such powerful lungs?
  • Apparently we almost had The Abomination in Age of Ultron
  • A short film that was originally tied to The Empire Strikes Back is being developed into a feature length film
  • This Week in Remakes: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson will star in a remake of Big Trouble in Little China
  • This Week in Charts: The ages of Emma Stone, Jennifer Lawrence, and Scarlett Johansson versus the ages of their love interests

    And that brings us to this week's poll.

    Do you want Tron 3?YesNo
  • Friday, May 29, 2015

    Fiestination America

    BREAKING NEWS: Destination America has acquired the rights to a TV version of the Friday Film Fiesta, which will replace TNA Impact. Or not. But welcome back to the Fiesta! For the last week we have had horrible weather here in Texas, and last weekend saw a bunch of tornadoes, rain, and flooding. This caused blackouts and brownouts, and by the time I was able to get to a PC with a steady amount of power, it was Tuesday.

    I haven't asked you anything in weeks. WEEKS I SAY.

  • Box Office News: Last week's new releases go head-to-head with new releases from two weeks ago!
  • Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Point Break, Pawn Sacrifice, and more!
  • In Theaters This Week: Aloha and San Andreas
  • Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Jupiter Ascending, McFarland, USA and The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out Of Water

  • RIP Anne Meara
  • If we want more original films, we have to support them
  • We have some new details on Ahnuld's new Conan film
  • The new Ninja Turtles villain looks stupid, fella
  • Mad Max: Fury Road will look quite different on blu-ray
  • This Week In Reboot News: A remake of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is coming, while It loses its director
  • Details have been leaked regarding Andy Serkis' character in Star Wars
  • Coming just in time for Dawn of Justice: A documentary about the 2009 Justice League film
  • Remember Jaws? He's back
  • Furious 7 becomes just the fourth movie to hit $1.5 billion in worldwide box office

    And that brings us to this week's poll.

    How happy of a birthday will Jeditab have this weekend?HappyUnhappyMehWho?
  • Sunday, May 17, 2015

    A Messed Up Schedule

    Welcome to the Friday Film Fiesta... on a Sunday? Yes, thanks to Andy posting the WOTW a few days late, I figured I would be lazy and use that as an excuse to not post a Fiesta on time. Also I ate a pint of ice cream last night and feel sick. WELP.

  • Box Office News: The Avengers successfully fend off some new villains
  • Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Eden and more!
  • In Theaters This Week: Mad Max: Fury Road and Pitch Perfect 2
  • Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: American Sniper, Hot Tub Time Machine 2, and Strange Magic

  • Apparently Hollywood likes to claim that successful movies are flops
  • It's Mad Max MANIA! The original is a pretty good movie, apparently; Various problems couldn't keep Fury Road from hitting theaters; and finally, make sure you see the new movie in 3D
  • Age of Ultron subtitles are confusing for Chinese
  • Get ready to see The Iron Giant in theaters again
  • In sequel news, we're getting a sequel to The Last Starfighter along with a sequel to 28 Days Later; we also have a name for the next Planet of the Apes
  • Starting in 2016, if you steal the Seinfeld method of scoring a date with a girl by claiming Daniel Craig is in a Star Wars movie, you wouldn't be wrong
  • Finally, we know why M. Night Shyamalan is on a losing streak
  • Product placement finds a way
  • Friday, May 8, 2015

    A Mother's Fiesta

    Welcome to the Fiesta! Mother's Day is Sunday, so get those cards and gifts ready!

    Last week I asked you if you would stop pirating movies just because Hollywood says to stop, and you TIED, saying you either will not stop, or that you don't pirate to begin with.

  • Box Office News: Age of Ultron BOMBS by failing to make as much as The Avengers did during its first weekend
  • Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Vacation, San Andreas, and more!
  • In Theaters This Week: Hot Persuit
  • Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Blackhat, Mortdecai, and Still Alice

  • The big news of the week is that Captain America: Civil War has begun production, with a new cast member
  • Meanwhile, X-Men will be losing a cast member
  • In sequel news, John Wick 2 is coming, as is a fifth Indiana Jones adventure
  • The next Avengers film will be shot entirely in IMAX
  • The second Star Wars Anthology film will be about the origin of Boba Fett
  • Former Fiesta Babes Kate Upton and Alexandra Daddario will finally meet on-screen
  • The Marvel/AMC 29 hour movie marathon is a crusher of souls

    No poll this week. Spend some time with your mothers or family! Or yourself.
  • Friday, May 1, 2015

    It's Gonna Bay May

    Come one, come all, to another edition of the Friday Film Fiesta, this time on May Day! And as you've probably seen a gazillion times on Facebook over the last three years, here's the picture of N'Sync era Justin Timberlake proclaiming that it is going to be May!

    Speaking of three years, can you believe that it has been three years since my failed heel turn at the release of the first Avengers movie? My how time flies. In that time span, we've seen poster after poster leave the blog, Jeditab becoming more of a selfish asshole, the end of Jopetoberfest, and Andy becoming a_happyguy? And probably some other unimportant stuff happen too.

    Last week I asked you if you liked the new look of The Joker, and you answered no.

  • Box Office News: Foreign box offices are confusing
  • Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for The Last Witch Hunter, Fifty Shades Darker, and more!
  • In Theaters This Week: The Avengers: Age of Ultron
  • Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Fifty Shades of Grey and Selma

  • The death of movies will be brought upon by you. Yes, you!
  • Many theaters are boycotting Age of Ultron because of the high 3D prices. Also relevant: Don't see Age of Ultron in 3D
  • Hollywood has officially declared that movie piracy must end within 24 hours. Yeah good luck with that, guys
  • Adam Sandler's new movie gets more racist by the minute
  • Every high school in America will be given a copy of Selma
  • Indy horror movie Cube is the latest victim of Hollywood's reboot boner
  • In sequel news, we're getting a sequel to Super Troopers, a sequel to Kingsman, and multiple sequels and a crossover for the 21 Jump Street franchise
  • The second Star Wars spinoff loses its director
  • Hot off the heels of the Lord of the Rings and Marvel marathons, AMC theaters will be screening every Star Wars movie prior to The Force Awakens

    And that brings us to this week's poll.

    Will you stop pirating movies because Hollywood said to?YesNoI don't pirate anything
  • Friday, April 24, 2015

    We're Taking Over

    Welcome to the Fiesta, the LAST SURVIVING COLUMN of RSPWFA2. I think. I mean, we still have the Walk, just as a comment. And I just assume nobody sent WOTW votes in last week, since wrestling kinda sucks right now.

    Speaking of things in wrestling that suck, here's some generic chick that is giving "Japanese Wrestling Purists" aneurysms for being Kelly Kelly 2 (meaning she's a perfect fit for the Fiesta!)

    Last week I asked you which new trailer excited you the most, and you answered Star Wars.

  • Box Office News: The world simply isn't ready for the genius of Kevin James
  • Check out new trailers for Jurassic World, The Visit, and more!
  • In Theaters This Week: The Age of Adaline, Little Boy, and The Water Diviner
  • Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: The Boy Next Door, Inherent Vice,and The Wedding Ringer

  • News from Star Wars: Celebration over the weekend reveals that the Star Wars spinoff films will be called "Anthologies," and the first one will cover the theft of the plans of the Death Star
  • Add "racist" to the list of negative things about Adam Sandler movies
  • A release date has been set for Pacific Rim 2
  • You've probably heard this before, but the story of Marvel's financial turnaround thanks to movies is still really cool
  • In Star Trek news, the new villain will apparently be a badass
  • Spider-Man will return... in animated form
  • Age of Ultron is already outdated
  • What is Christopher Nolan's favorite moment from all of his films?
  • LATE BREAKING NEWS: First image of the new Joker

    And that brings us to this week's poll.

    Do you like the new Joker look?YesNoMeh
  • Sunday, April 19, 2015

    Sunday Selfie Siesta

    Welcome to the Fiesta! Late again, yes I know.

    And it's actually out of my control this time, as we had some nasty thunderstorms come through the area on Friday and Saturday, and when the power wasn't knocked out, the Internet was. So thank Mother Nature or AT&T for the delays.

    Here are some Sunday Selfies as my apology to you.

    Last week I asked if you liked the new look of The Thing in the new Fantastic Four movie, and you answered MEHntastic Four.

  • Box Office News: I mean, given the choices of what's in theaters now, why would you NOT be seeing Furious 7 at this point?
  • Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice, and more!
  • In Theaters This Week: Child 44, Monkey Kingdom, Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, and Unfriended
  • Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Cake and Taken 3

  • Wonder Woman loses its director because of reasons. So they went out and got a new one
  • The production crew for John Wick had to spend $5000 to create CGI dog poop
  • Josh Hartnett has some big regrets
  • If Stella can get her groove back, so can Vin Diesel
  • More communication problems for Sony?
  • Steven Spielberg will soon be directing his first Disney film
  • Matthew Vaughn could be directing the Flash Gordon reboot
  • Blame Alan Rickman if you hate when changes are made to terrible scripts
  • In casting news, Olivia Munn is an X-Man, and The Gos could be coming to the world of Blade Runner

    And that brings us to this week's poll.

    WHich new trailer this week was better?
    Star Wars
    Batman vs Superman