Saturday, November 22, 2014



Last week I asked you if you were planning on seeing Dumb and Dumber To and you tied, saying both NO and MEH.

  • Box Office News: An event 20 years in the making, the Dumb and Dumber franchise has all began again!
  • Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Pitch Perfect 2, The Peanuts Movie, and more!
  • In Theaters This Week: The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1
  • Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: The Expendables 3, The Giver, The November Man and Tyler Perry's A Madea Christmas

    The King of Fiesta Links, Glenn, declares that you click on the following
  • The design of Krypton in 1978's Superman: The Movie changed just a tad bit between concept and production
  • Somewhere out there exists a universe where these movie exist. But until then, you can settle for just purchasing the awesome posters

  • RIP Mike Nichols
  • RIP Angelina Jolie's career
  • I complain a lot about the lack of originality in Hollywood, but it's pretty tough to argue against the numbers
  • Great news for the Blog's Token Aussie, Netflix arrives in Australia and New Zealand in March 2015
  • Last weekend, the Hollywood Film Awards took place, despite nobody ever hearing of them. And like many award shows in Hollywood, it's all a sham
  • The viral marketing campaign for Jurassic World has begun!
  • You will not be seeing a CGI Phillip Seymour Hoffman in the latest Hunger Games movie this weekend
  • You may or may not remember the most popular book in the elementary school library, Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark. Well there's no need to fight over the book with classmates, it's coming to theaters!
  • Have an AMC Theater near you? If so, you can see Interstellar as many times as you want. Sometimes you have to see a movie many times before you can see it for the first time.
  • The Prometheus sequel will further ruin the Alien mythology
  • Remember that Steve Jobs movie from last year with Ashton Kutcher? No? Remember how Hollywood studios like to rip each other off and release similar movies in close proximity to each other? Yes? Well, not so fast, my friends
  • Blade Runner: The Final Cut returns to theaters next year

    And that brings us to this week's poll.

    Will you miss seeing Angelina Jolie in movies?
    She'll Be Back

  • Friday, November 14, 2014

    Too Many Fiestas!

    It takes a lot to write a Fiesta
    But no matter what, Jope still takes a Siesta!
    Add a dash of movie news
    And just because, some pictures of boobs!

    For those who have no idea what I am referencing, it's the latest viral video from Adult Swim Too Many Cooks, which is frustratingly catchy.

    And for those who don't want to watch, I've gone ahead and screencapped the best parts:

    Last week I asked if you liked the title for the next Star Wars film, and you answered no.

  • Box Office News: In a mirror of the Space Race, Interstellar reaches orbit but Big Hero 6 lands on the moon
  • Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Fifty Shades of Grey, Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, and more!
  • In Theaters This Week: Beyond the Lights, Birdman and Dumb and Dumber To
  • Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: 22 Jump Street, If I Stay, Into the Storm and Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

    What do you have when Glenn sends in material for the Fiesta? TOO MANY LINKS!
  • The writer of Interstellar is bringing Foundation to HBO
  • Also coming soon to a television near you: Evil Dead: The Series
  • Are these truly the Top 10 Slow Motion Moments of All Time?

  • Matt Damon confirms Jason Bourne is back
  • Joining Batista in the next 007 movie will be Christoph Waltz
  • The upcoming Fantastic Four reboot will feature a different Doctor Doom
  • We all saw The Fappening, but Michael Fassbender will get to experience it
  • Gravity is being rereleased with an option to watch without music
  • Dawn of Justice is being filmed in IMAX
  • Lee Daniels is going from butlering to haunted houses
  • Coming off the heels of a successful LEGO movie comes... Playmobil?
  • Who set the standard for animated films? Pinocchio, of course
  • IMAX theaters will be showing all three Hobbit movies
  • The owner of the mansion from The Godfather is making us an offer we can't refuse. Well, those of us who don't have three million dollars can refuse it. But if you happen to be rich, you probably shouldn't refuse the offer
  • Christopher Nolan is not a funny man
  • These injuries were real, not acted
  • The next time you tell someone to stop texting during a movie, be careful
  • Real Life vs. Movies

    And that brings us to this week's poll.

    Will you be seeing Dumb and Dumber To?

  • Friday, November 7, 2014

    It's No Shave/No Fap Movember!

    Welcome to the first Fiesta of November! Feels like just yesterday we were turning our calendars to January and now the year is almost over. The pink breast cancer awareness stuff is gone for 11 months, and now we get to hear losers such as myself grow crappy, patchy beards for No Shave November!

    I hope everyone spent this past week Remembering Remembering the 5th of November... 1955, which is the day that Doc Brown slipped and hit his head and envisioned the Flux Capacitor, which makes time travel possible.

    Last week I asked how you celebrate Halloween, and you answered that you sit at home with no friends, crying.

  • Box Office News: Hollywood is provided with several tricks and treats over Halloween weekend
  • Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies, Furious 7, and more!
  • In Theaters This Week: Big Hero 6 and Interstellar
  • Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: How to Train Your Dragon 2, Jersey Boys, Let's Be Cops, and Tammy

  • Disney is bringing it from all angles this week, with the announcement that Star Wars VII has finished filming and has an official title, along with the announcement that Toy Story 4 hits theaters in 2017
  • Hollywood salaries revealed! Take a look and think over your life choices because you will never have this much money :(
  • The latest issue of Entertainment Weekly features reunions of the casts of Ghostbusters and Mean Girls, among others
  • Here's a great article about Christopher Nolan to help get you pumped for Interstellar. Of note: WB gave up a lot to get the rights to the film
  • If you see Jim Carrey or Jeff Daniels on the street, don't interact with them
  • FOX wants an Oscar nomination for Andy Serkis
  • The Hellraiser reboot will focus on the creator of Pinhead's box
  • 10 Animated Shorts Advance for Academy Award Consideration
  • Remember the Jim Carrey movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events that came out ten years ago? Well it's back, in Netflix TV series form

    And that brings us to this week's poll.

    The Force Awakens... Yay or Nay?
    I'm a Star Trek Guy
    I Hate JJ Abrams (aka Meh aka the Andy Option)

  • Friday, October 31, 2014

    Slim Jim Halloween Havoc 2014 Presented by Snickers

    Welcome to the HALLOWEEN EDITION of the Friday Film Fiesta! Conveniently enough Halloween falls on a Friday this year, so the jokes and references will actually be relevant!

    Last week I was coming off from yet another week from hell, but instead of being lazy, I actually FORGOT about the Fiesta until Sunday when Jope mentioned it. Luckily there was pretty much nothing that happened last week outside of the Age of Ultron poster being released.

    Two weeks ago I... didn't ask you anything.

  • Box Office News: Two weekends ago, Brad Pitt's WW2 film Fury took the top spot from Gone Girl. Last weekend, Ouiji beat out newcomer John Wick and other older flicks
  • Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Comet, Serena and more!
  • In Theaters This Week: Before I Go To Sleep and Nightcrawler
  • Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Maleficent, A Most Wanted Man, Hercules and Planes: Fire and Rescue

  • Marvel, not about to be one-upped by DC, has announced a crapload of movie release dates stretching up to 2019!
  • Movie theater chains are hurting (link warning: you might need a Wall Street Journal account), and now AMC might start charging sales tax on tickets and concessions
  • Joaquin Phoenix is no longer Doctor Strange
  • You may or may not have noticed that John Wick is the first time we've seen Keanu Reeves in a major film in a while. No, he hasn't gone anywhere, he just isn't getting any job offers
  • Michael Bay is out of the next Transformers
  • The director of the Wonder Woman movie must be female
  • The next Terminator is not only waging war on proper spelling, it's also getting some publicity from Entertainment Weekly
  • Seeing the third Hobbit? You can expect to see exciting previews before the main show
  • John Carter cost Disney a lot of money. With no plans for sequels or reboots (!), Disney has lost the rights to the franchise
  • Chinese businesses are unhappy with Hollywood
  • Celebrate November with new Netflix releases
  • Google Glass has officially been banned from movie theaters
  • The secret word of the day is reboot
  • In honor of Halloween, here is a list of 20 great B-level horror movies worth tracking down. How many of these have appeared in Jopetoberfest?

    And that brings us to this week's poll.

    How do you celebrate Halloween?
    Trick Or Treating
    Eating Candy
    Throwing/Attending Parties
    Watching Horror Movies
    Watching Halloween Havoc PPVs
    Sit At Home With No Friends Crying

    Aw heck, it wouldn't be a Fiesta without slutty Halloween costumes. Enjoy your weekend of tricks and treats!

  • Saturday, October 18, 2014

    A Saturday Siesta

    Last week I asked you which announced sequel/reboot interested you the most, and you answered Independence Day 2.

  • Box Office News: Gone Girl is gone, girl
  • Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for In the Heart of the Sea, Top Five and more!
  • In Theaters This Week: The Best of Me, The Book of Life and Fury
  • Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Earth to Echo, The Fluffy Movie, Life After Beth, The Purge: Anarchy, Sex Tape, and Snowpiercer

  • RIP Elizabeth Pena and Misty Upham
  • RIP John Cleese's career
  • Robert Downey, Jr. will return as Iron Man! Captain America 3
  • Apparently the Vacation remake is serving as a platform to reunite the cast of Freaks and Geeks
  • For those of you who enjoyed Pacific Rim, here is the franchise schedule for the next few years
  • Why Brad Bird passed on directing the next Star Wars
  • Your host of the Oscars next year: Doogie

    No poll this week, because I can. Enjoy your weekend!
  • Friday, October 10, 2014

    Late Night, Come Home, Work Sucks, I Know

    I'm the scapegoat at work this week! So let's take our mind off of things by reading about movie news! Hopefully there's nothing about unnecessary sequels or TV show revivals that makes me even angrier!

    Last week I asked if you planned on watching any of the exclusive Netflix blockbuster movies, and you answered no.

  • Box Office News: Box Office Mojo is apparently dead after 15 years. So while I look for a new box office numbers website, Gone Girl narrowly defeats Annabelle
  • Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Tomorrowland, Focus and more!
  • In Theaters This Week: Addicted, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Dracula Untold and The Judge
  • Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: X-Men: Days of Future Past and Mr. Peabody and Sherman

  • RIP Geoffrey Holder and Jan Hooks
  • The dad from 7th Heaven is a child molester
  • It's REBOOT AND SEQUEL MANIA this week in Hollywood, as sequels to Super Troopers and 22 Jump Street have been confirmed, as has the rumored all female Ghostbusters sequel, which won't acknowledge the previous films at all. Meanwhile, Jeff Goldblum says he would return for the long rumored Independence Day sequel, and a movie from way back in 2007, I Am Legend, is being rebooted. Oh, and Iron Man 4 is on its way too. Luckily the sequel to The Da Vinci Code has been pushed back because I don't know how I can handle so many reboots and sequels at one time!
  • Television is not immune to reboots and sequels either, with reboots of Lost in Space and Lost apparently in the works. Meanwhile, ABC is developing the movie Uncle Buck into a sitcom
  • This Maze Runner series is apparently going to continue, but won't be splitting books into multiple movies
  • Joining the Marvel Cinematic Universe and the Universal Monsters Cinematic Universe will be a Robin Hood Cinematic Universe. I hope none of these movies interrupt Nitro!
  • Women, no doubt upset over Jopetoberfest ending this year, will create their own Jopetoberfest
  • In development: a movie about the 2013 Boston Marathon Bombings. Dang son, slow down! We had to wait five years for Hollywood to capitalize off of September 11!
  • Marvel is getting a television special to celebrate its 75th Anniversary
  • All ten Halloween movies have been charted and percentaged
  • How Freddy Started Our Cinematic Nightmare
  • Why Game of Thrones actors get better roles than The Walking Dead actors

    And that brings us to this week's poll.

    Which of the announced reboots/sequels interests you the most?
    Super Troopers
    All Female Ghostbusters
    Independence Day 2
    I Am Legend
    Lost in Space

  • Friday, October 3, 2014

    Super Smash Bros. Fiesta

    Welcome to the first Fiesta in two weeks... last week I had the WEEK FROM HELL, running on roughly 10 hours of sleep the entire week. I could have, and should have, written a Fiesta, but decided to be lazy and chose not to. So enjoy TWICE the film news this week as I half-ass this one so I can play the new Super Smash Brothers game! And also attend the Austin Comic Con.

    Two weeks ago I asked you if you would watch the planned reboot of I Know What You Did Last Summer, and you answered meh.

  • Box Office News: Two weeks ago, another generic actiony book-turned-movie makes a lot of money. Last week, Denzel Washington sat in a car, wearing a do rag, and nodding while saying a racial slur.
  • Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Inherent Vice, Home Sweet Hell and more!
  • In Theaters This Week: Annabelle, Gone Girl and Left Behind
  • Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Edge of Tomorrow Live, Die, Repeat, Million Dollar Arm and A Million Ways to Die in the West

    Did you know that Glenn has some fun facts for us this week?
  • Did you know that Jopetoberfest is so popular that cable TV is copying it?
  • Did you know that while filming The Princess Bride, Andre the Giant was once used as a hotel display piece?
  • Did you know that fans of Dredd are so desperate for a sequel that they have created Dredd: The Musical?
  • Did you know that American Beauty is still being deconstructed, 15 years later?

  • The first Netflix Original Movie has been announced for 2015, and it's something completely out of left field
  • And days after the above sentence was written, Netflix signed an exclusive four movie deal with Adam Sandler, thus guaranteeing Rob Schneider and Drew Barrymore work and guaranteeing Hooters some free advertising!
  • And with the above announcements, movie theaters are vowing to boycott any Netflix original movie
  • Kevin Smith's Tusk has totally flopped at the box office, but still somehow convinced a very stupid person to pony up the money to finance Clerks 3
  • According to David Fincher, Star Wars is a story of slavery with droids as the main stars. Meanwhile, Gary Kurtz joins the huge list of Star Wars people who hate Star Wars
  • If you are hoping that Prometheus 2 will answer the questions created by Prometheus, you might want to think again
  • Dependance on superhero movies could kill Hollywood
  • Key and Peele have been offered a movie
  • Jeremy Renner wants to see The Bourne Crossover
  • This Week in Sequel News: A sequel to Zombieland is apparently back on. Meanwhile, Taken 3 has officially been renamed Tak3n
  • More proof that you can sue for anything: Disney sued for $250 million by woman claiming Frozen is stolen from her life story
  • Finally, The Shat has returned to Star Trek
  • We'll be getting our first look at Age of Ultron with the Guardians of the Galaxy DVD/Blu-Ray
  • And last but not least, here is a list of what you can stream in October

    And that brings us to this week's poll.

    Will you watch any of the exclusive Netflix films?Yes, all of themJust Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon 2Just the Adam Sandler onesNo, none of them
  • Friday, September 19, 2014

    Free Talk Friday Film Fiesta

    Welcome to the Fiesta! Still not sure what happened with the coding last week, but thanks to Good Guy Gatekeeper Glenn for taking time to work his magic. Either way, I have no idea what to talk about this week, so let's dub this Free Talk Friday!

    I'm looking for information on what to do at a Comic Con. I found out this week I'll be getting a press pass for Austin Comic Con through work, and I'm at a loss for what to do once I'm there. Do I cosplay? Do I buy stuff? All I've seen is the list of guests, and I'm bummed because I wanted to get a picture with Alfonso Ribiera, but he had to cancel. Guess I'll have to settle for getting a picture with either Sean Astin or the Undertaker.

    Last week I asked you if you were interested in Bill Murray's proposed all-female Ghostbusters, and you answered NO.

  • Box Office News: Tyler Perry's latest Madea film, despite being a severe departure from the others in the series... wait, what? Oh. Whoops. This is awkward.
  • Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1, Men, Women & Children and more!
  • In Theaters This Week: A Walk Among the Tombstones, The Maze Runner, This is Where I Leave You and Tusk
  • Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Neighbors

    Glenn showed up at my door with a lawsuit claiming I stole his intellectual property, until he realized I said "Free Talk Friday" and not "Free Walk Friday":
  • The Worst Movie Ever Envisioned is soon to become reality
  • Camera and editing tricks can work wonders
  • Roger Ebert's life will soon be recreated in motion picture form

  • A fifth Bourne movie with Matt Damon has been announced for 2016, bumping the planned Jeremy Renner sequel to TBA
  • Also coming in 2016: Deadpool: The Movie
  • This Week in Pointless Reboots: I Know What You Did Last Summer
  • The next Paranormal Activity has been delayed
  • King Kong is getting an origin story
  • More Dragon Tattoo films are on the way, as is a sequel to Now You See Me
  • In other sequel news, the Avatar sequels could be the first films shot in 4K 3D at 120 frames per second
  • Looks like she's still got it where it counts, kids uh WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
  • Why exactly was Ben Affleck cast in Gone Girl?
  • Making a Venom movie is really hard stuff
  • FX has the movies, but now TNT has some pretty good ones too
  • We can do it. We can fix Star Trek Generations
  • The CEO of IMAX has some interesting thoughts about Hollywood
  • Krispy Kreme is getting into the Halloween spirit with Ghostbusters doughnuts!
  • Your new UN Messenger of Peace: LEO

    And that brings us to this week's poll.

    Will you watch the rebooted I Know What You Did Last Summer?
  • Friday, September 12, 2014

    Friday Film Fiesta

    Welcome to another week of the Fiesta! I am currently putting the finishing touches on this column from a high school football press box while the game is under a weather delay. This is the second week in a row, making what is already a miserable season of coverage even worse.

    If anyone wants an Andy-esque rant, I would be more than happy to oblige!

    TWO weeks ago, I asked you what your favorite year on the Blog of Doom was, and you answered 2009.

    LAST WEEK, I asked you what you want to see more of in the Fiesta going forward, and the answer was movie/Hollywood news.

  • Box Office News: Hey! Hey you! Yes, you! Go see a movie!
  • Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Fury, The Homesman and more!
  • In Theaters This Week: Dolphin Tail 2, The Drop, and
  • Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: The Fault in Our Stars, Godzilla and Think Like A Man Too

  • RIP Richard Kiel
  • Bill Murray wants an all female Ghostbusters. Give it up already, guys. Kristen Wiig, however, is in
  • Speaking of Bill Murray, apparently this is what it's like to cast him
  • Would you see a wide release foreign language movie with subtitles? Helen Mirren doesn't think so
  • George A. Romero hates today's zombies
  • Transformer5 will see some major changes
  • Apparently The Amazing Spider-Man 2 sucked because of the studio
  • This Week in Unnecessary Sequels: Top Gun 2. However, 23 Jump Street is coming
  • Apparently we are getting a sequel to Zoolander
  • Witness the transformation of Haley Joel Osment into Nazi Paul Bearer
  • Quentin Tarantino's movie theater is almost half museum
  • Bill Hader has a list of 200 films every comedy writer should see
  • Don't expect to see Tom Hardy in any more rom-coms

    And that brings us to this week's poll.

    Does Bill Murray's proposed all-female Ghostbusters interest you?
    I want Ghostbusters 3!

  • Friday, September 5, 2014

    Third Anniversary Fiesta Fiesta

    Three years already? Yes, on the Friday after Labor Day in 2011, the Friday Film Fiesta was revived, with me as your host! And it was all because I wanted to talk about how dumb the then-rumored Stretch Armstrong movie starring Taylor Lautner was!

    Whatever happened to that movie anyway? Ah, canceled in January 2012.

    Anyway, in these last three years we have seen effort and enthusiasm fly out the window, boobs, April Fools pranks, Friday Film FiGUESTas, wrestling references, more boobs, hashtags, people leaving the Blog forever, Wet Dream t-shirts, a lengthy hiatus in the fall of 2012, female butts, a feud with Jope, and maybe some movie news in between all of this "action"!

    What will the next three years bring? What will the next year alone bring? ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT!

  • Box Office News: Much like three years ago (I know you clicked the link to reread my first Fiesta), a single movie continues to dominate. At what point do these newer releases give up entirely? And at what point do we begin to feel nostalgic about Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star or Rebecca Black?
  • Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for Cymbeline, Horrible Bosses 2 and more!
  • In Theaters This Week: The Identical
  • Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: Brick Mansions, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and Palo Alto

  • Glenn joins this week's festivities after a LINK-THY absence, bringing photographic evidence of what recent horror movie home video releases would look like if we were still using VHS technology. By the way, Glenn and other LOTR fans, the movies will be screened together in New York City next year with a live orchestra

  • RIP Joan Rivers and Gottfried John
  • CELEBRITIES BEWARE: Hackers have hacked into the iCloud and are releasing nude pictures of various celebrities such as Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton, with more pictures of other celebrities apparently still to come. Normally this would be where Glenn takes a pause to remind us that the real story here is people being able to shockingly hack into the Cloud, putting everyone's privacy at risk, and that we should all back up our sensitive data to encrypted hard drives. However, I am not Glenn, so bewbz~!!!!!
  • It's official: this summer was Hollywood's worst summer since 2006!
  • Very soon you will be able to tour the prison from The Shawshank Redemption
  • Martin Scorsese is bringing a Shutter Island prequel to HBO
  • Quentin Tarantino's The Hateful Eight finally has a release date
  • Gone Girl will be edited entirely with Adobe Premiere Pro
  • Attention Canucks! The next X-Men movie will film in Montreal in April. Anyone else hoping for a bad_subject cameo?
  • Another Game of Thrones character will be moving to a Galaxy Far, Far Away
  • Speaking of casting news, do you smell what Black Adam is cooking?
  • Stan Lee has confirmed a Black Panther movie
  • In addition to a remake of Escape to New York and a fifth Rambomovie, a fourth Blade movie might also be in the works along with a CHiPS movie with Dax Shepard doing everything
  • Stuff is coming to Netflix
  • DC is planning a TV series about Supergirl
  • The Wire is rumored to see a remastered reairing on HBO in the near future. Just remember that Stringer Bell and Omar Little lost to Denny Crane and Batman, respectively, in the TV Characters Tournament, so yeah.

    And that brings us to this week's poll.

    What should be the focus of the Fiesta going forward?
    Pictures Of Scantily Clad Women
    Feuds With Other Posters/Websites
    Celebrity Gossip
    Movie/Hollywood News