Here's some truly terrible stuff I wrote during down periods at work. They got a total of 7 upvotes, so you know it's good!
Vince Russo Rebooks Raw!
Sasha Banks comes to the ring and announces that the fans will NEVER see her in her bra and panties. Crowd boos and chants "slut" at her. Dana Brooke comes out and shows GTV footage of Sasha buying lingerie at a store and challenges Sasha to a bra and panties match. Sasha agrees and quickly strips Dana, who is wearing a thong. Embarrassed, Dana runs up the ramp.
Jerry Lawler comes to the ring to interview Sasha. "Well I guess you were right!" "Jerry, I didn't get to finish my sentence. Nobody will ever see me in my bra and panties... because I don't wear any!" Stripper music plays and Sasha starts to remove her shirt but is quickly covered up by referees and ring crew.
Lawler faints and doesn't get up. EMTs come to revive him and it's revealed he had a heart attack. "This is as real as real can be" says Corey Graves. "Quite possibly the most real moment in the history of Raw" touts Michael Cole.
As Lawler is loaded into an ambulance, we cut backstage to see a brawl between Bo Dallas and Sin Cara being broken up.
===
Vince Russo Rebooks Smackdown!
Daniel Bryan opens the show with the new SD Women's Title, which is shaped like a brassiere. He hypes the Six Pack Challenge Bra and Panties Title on a Pole match and explains the rules: The match starts with all 6 women, but when a Diva removes another Diva's shirt or pants, she gets a chance to climb up and grab the title from the pole. If a Diva is stripped to her Bra and Panties, she has to pin another Diva to attempt to grab the title. If a Diva is pinned, she is eliminated from the match.
Nikki Bella, Becky Lynch, and Naomi come out and remind everyone that their stable, Totally Hot Ordinary New Girls, or THONG, has the best ASSets in the company, and they can't wait to be stripped to their panties on Sunday. Alexa Bliss, Natalya, and Carmella come out and claim that their stable, Beautiful Resilient Extraordinary Amazing Stupendous Terrific Sisters, or BREASTS, has the best puppies in the company. End result is a catfight where THONG is embarrassed by having their shirts ripped off, and BREASTS is embarrassed by being stripped of their pants.
In the catfight, Nikki Bella actually falls onto Daniel Bryan in a compromising position. Bryan calls her Brie and kisses her, which Nikki doesn't fight out. Daniel can't get out of the ring, however, and the show stops as EMTs hit the ring and reveal Bryan hit his head in the melee and might have Post Concussion Syndrome. "This is perhaps the most realistic moment in 17 years of Smackdown" says Mauro. As Bryan is loaded into the ambulance, he's assaulted by Brie, who also attacks Nikki. As this fight is broken up, a fight between Baron Corbin and Dolph Ziggler is broken up after both throw each other through a wall.
Wednesday, September 7, 2016
Friday, May 13, 2016
Thursday Night TV!
Time now for more of Diddly's Thursday TV Star Ratings! In a desperate attempt to relive last Thursday night, I watched roughly 90 minutes of TV last night.
The evening started while I was cooking dinner. I turned on my TV and flipped through the network channels (no cable). Bones was on Fox. Something was on ABC and NBC. Big Bang Theory was on CBS. I wasn't interested in any of it. DUD
Next up on CBS was the Odd Couple, where a really really old Matthew Perry continued his quest to sleep with a slightly older looking Terri Hatcher. This time he was repeatedly cockblocked by a 9 year old! Hilarity ensued. Other stories included a black guy hiding his vintage shoe collection from his wife, and Joe Lo Trugglio trying to break Lindsay Sloan'e "birthday curse" only to have it end with disastrous results! *** Perfectly Acceptable Television
After Odd Couple was Mom, still on CBS. Anna Farris' daughter is set to be married, but the relationship ends and the wedding is called off. Anna Farris is told that it's because her daughter's fiancee is a cheater, but she later finds out from the fiancee's mom that it's because the daughter is a drug addict and alcoholic, just like she was. Anna then has to decide how to bring this up with her daughter and get her help. Meanwhile, Allison Janney's boyfriend is out of the country, and she decides to fill her sexless void with fast food. ***1/2, with the extra half star coming from Janney's storyline obviously being inspired by DanimalCrossing.com
Then, 2 Broke Girls came on. Last week I questioned how the show was still on TV. I am still asking that question now. Since I last watched the show during Season 1, Beth Behrs' hair has gotten longer, and the Asian boss has gotten fatter. Kat Dennings' boobs have remained the same size. Beth Behrs still has a negative ass. I spent this time cleaning up the kitchen and running a load of dishes, then went to the gym. -*, because 2 Broke Girls is still on TV, and all over TBS.
The evening started while I was cooking dinner. I turned on my TV and flipped through the network channels (no cable). Bones was on Fox. Something was on ABC and NBC. Big Bang Theory was on CBS. I wasn't interested in any of it. DUD
Next up on CBS was the Odd Couple, where a really really old Matthew Perry continued his quest to sleep with a slightly older looking Terri Hatcher. This time he was repeatedly cockblocked by a 9 year old! Hilarity ensued. Other stories included a black guy hiding his vintage shoe collection from his wife, and Joe Lo Trugglio trying to break Lindsay Sloan'e "birthday curse" only to have it end with disastrous results! *** Perfectly Acceptable Television
After Odd Couple was Mom, still on CBS. Anna Farris' daughter is set to be married, but the relationship ends and the wedding is called off. Anna Farris is told that it's because her daughter's fiancee is a cheater, but she later finds out from the fiancee's mom that it's because the daughter is a drug addict and alcoholic, just like she was. Anna then has to decide how to bring this up with her daughter and get her help. Meanwhile, Allison Janney's boyfriend is out of the country, and she decides to fill her sexless void with fast food. ***1/2, with the extra half star coming from Janney's storyline obviously being inspired by DanimalCrossing.com
Then, 2 Broke Girls came on. Last week I questioned how the show was still on TV. I am still asking that question now. Since I last watched the show during Season 1, Beth Behrs' hair has gotten longer, and the Asian boss has gotten fatter. Kat Dennings' boobs have remained the same size. Beth Behrs still has a negative ass. I spent this time cleaning up the kitchen and running a load of dishes, then went to the gym. -*, because 2 Broke Girls is still on TV, and all over TBS.
Friday, January 8, 2016
The Friday Film Fiesta... Returns?
Editor's note: I am going to attempt to get back into the groove by writing a Fiesta every week, even though LESS people will be viewing it thanks to the death of the Blog of Doom. I will be submitting this as a trial for Scott Keith's Rantsylvania site, but whether or not he posts it remains to be seen. Nevertheless, if you were a Fiesta fan, sorry for the abrupt ending last summer, and hopefully I can make some use of this blog again.
Welcome to the Friday Film Fiesta!
For those of you who don't know, this is a weekly column originally created by 411Mania's Joseph Lee, who writes A Bloody Good Time every week. He wrote the column for roughly a year until his commitments to 411Mania and real life made it difficult to write. I took the column over in September 2011 as a way to complain about an announced Stretch Armstrong movie starring Taylor Lautner. That project ended up being canceled, but I continued writing the Fiesta until July 2015. I figured I would try to reboot it again for Rantsylvania as a place for visitors to discuss movies and TV shows.
Normally each week will have a goofy title along with a picture of an attractive female celebrity I'm digging that week, or even a goofy, relevant meme (say Steve Harvey saying something wrong), followed by an introduction and then the results of a poll. The long winded introduction more than works for this week, so let's get to it!
Box Office News: The Force Awakens continues to rake in the dough
Trailer Time: Check out new trailers for The Conjuring 2, Jane Got A Gun, and more!
In Theaters This Week: The Forest and The Revenant
Next Week's Notable DVD Releases: The Martian, Hotel Transylvania 2, Sinister 2, and Paranormal Activity 5: The Ghost Dimension
RIP Jason Wingreen and Vilmos Zsigmond
It's Star Wars-Mania! The Force Awakens has officially passed Avatar to become the largest grossing movie ever in America. Oh, and did you know that the new Chewbacca is a pretty cool dude?
Speaking of Star Wars, Disney plans on making a fifth Indiana Jones movie
Bad news for Pacific Rim fans, as the sequel has been declared dead so that Guillermo Del Toro can direct a remake of Fantastic Voyage
The Ridiculous Six is now the most-watched movie in Netflix history
HBO's Michael Lombardo says a Deadwood movie is happening
Joss Whedon is finished with Marvel movies
Christopher Waltz will return for two more 007 movies, but only if Daniel Craig does too
M. Night Shyamalan is rebooting Tales From The Crypt for TNT
The FBI is investigating a film company tied to The Wolf of Wall Street
Ultra HD Blu-Ray will not employ region coding or locking. In addition, WB will release 35 4K Blu-Ray movies in 2016
And that's it for this week. If this gets a good response, I'll continue to post an edition each week. I'm always open to feedback and suggestions as well. Thanks for reading!
Welcome to the Friday Film Fiesta!
For those of you who don't know, this is a weekly column originally created by 411Mania's Joseph Lee, who writes A Bloody Good Time every week. He wrote the column for roughly a year until his commitments to 411Mania and real life made it difficult to write. I took the column over in September 2011 as a way to complain about an announced Stretch Armstrong movie starring Taylor Lautner. That project ended up being canceled, but I continued writing the Fiesta until July 2015. I figured I would try to reboot it again for Rantsylvania as a place for visitors to discuss movies and TV shows.
Normally each week will have a goofy title along with a picture of an attractive female celebrity I'm digging that week, or even a goofy, relevant meme (say Steve Harvey saying something wrong), followed by an introduction and then the results of a poll. The long winded introduction more than works for this week, so let's get to it!
And that's it for this week. If this gets a good response, I'll continue to post an edition each week. I'm always open to feedback and suggestions as well. Thanks for reading!
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