So here we are, another week, another batch of new comics to read. I was lazy and didn’t read ANYTHING I picked up last week, hence the lack of reviews. But there are some good titles out this week, so let’s see what happens in the world of comics.
Beware of spoilers, or as we also like to call them, soilers.
Batman #2
Starting things with one of DC’s New 52, and its awesome. Last time we left this incarnation of Batman, he and the GCPD discovered a murdered John Doe with a message warning of Bruce Wayne’s death. Batman is on his way to the autopsy, but first he has to stop some baddies in a helicopter using only his bare fists and Batcycle. Pretty neat. The John Doe apparently attacked Dick Grayson at a Wayne function, explaining why Dick’s DNA was found in the victim’s fingernails. The next day Bruce is meeting with mayoral candidate Lincoln March in Wayne Tower when a mysterious assailant attacks with knives, stabbing March and throwing Wayne off the tower. But Bruce is crafty and is able to escape via the help of Gargoyles, a running theme of this book which gave me flashbacks to the cartoon. But the assailant WILL NOT DIE and overtakes an ambulance... and then the story is cut short so that we can preview some crappy Batman Christmas Trade Paperback. LAME. The story was great but ended too shortly, and that really ticked me off. I’m paying $2.99 for this dangit, I want a full comic! And I don’t want to wait another month to get answers to my questions!
Justice League #2
I enjoyed this one a LOT more than I did the first issue. Batman and Green Lantern are trying to find out the source of a mysterious cube, and track down Superman, who attacks them, blaming them for a similar attack on him. So they fight for a while and Lantern calls Flash for help stopping Superman. Eventually military forces attack the four and they flee to an abandoned printing press to solve the mystery of the cube. There’s actually some funny dialogue here like Batman asking how Superman conceals his secret identity and Flash asking Batman what his super powers are. Anyway, the makeshift hideout is apparently attached to a laboratory where Cyborg’s dad works. Cyborg confronts his dad who admits he doesn’t care about his son’s football games, when suddenly the cube explodes and Cyborg is engulfed in flames. The ending was rather sudden, again because of some weird extra feature DC decided to include. But yeah, this one was MUCH better than issue 1.
Batman and Robin #2
I’m enjoying this Batman series as well. This one dealt with Bruce trying to be a better father to his son Damian, who has a tendency to want to kill criminals, and that’s not okay with Batman. Bruce is proud when the two raid a weapons shipment and take down the squad of baddies, and Damian shows restraint and doesn’t severely injure anyone. But Bruce doesn’t know how to tell Damian that he’s proud of him, instead choosing fancy words that sound like backhanded complements. Damian and Alfred are both disappointed. The ending is wacky when Bruce goes to buy a Great Dane for some reason and a mysterious man named Morgan appears. He might have appeared in previous comics but I’m new, remember? He tells Bruce it’s time to “save him from himself” and vanishes... and then we get another short comic so we can get ANOTHER preview of that damn Batman: Noel Trade Paperback. DAMN! Good story with a crappy ending.
Nightwing #2
Here’s one I’ve seen hate online for but I’ve been enjoying. This issue sees Nightwing fighting with the mysterious assailant from the last issue, known as Saiko. He has a suit that looks like Ultimate Scorpion’s costume, only with retractable Wolverine claws and Jango Fett wrist rockets. Whatever. Anyway, Dick is approached by a chick from Haly’s Circus, where he grew up, who informs him that the owner, Mr. Haly, is dying, and we end up with Nightwing getting the deed to the circus. On the way back to Gotham, Dick dicks the chick, knowwhatimsayin, until Saiko calls him; he’s assaulted Haly and knows his identity. So it’s Nightwing to the rescue. Saiko’s fate is unknown but Haly dies in Dick’s arms. Then we fade out to that goddamn Batman: Noel TPB.
Green Lantern #2
We pick up where we left off, with Sinestro confronting a down-on-his-luck Hal Jordan about getting his ring back. Sinestro creates a false ring for Hal; it basically has the same powers as a regular Lantern ring but Sinestro controls it and can turn it off at any time. So when Hal goes to save people from a collapsing bridge, Sinestro stops him and shows him that there’s MORE to the ring than being a superhero, and enlists Hal to help him stop the evil army on his home planet. This one was just there. Oh hey, a bonus comic- WHAT THE FUCK NOT THIS STUPID BATMAN: NOEL PREVIEW AGAIN.
Wonder Woman #2
Hoo boy, this one. I didn’t originally want to buy this because the first one sucked so bad, but I figured it might have train wreck appeal so I’ll keep buying it for the next few issues, because shitty comics make for better reviews! Anyway, just like the first issue, we start with some random chick undressing in front of other chicks on Mount Olympus. What is with this series and chicks being naked in front of each other? Anyway I guess these are goddesses and apparently Panty-Wearing Chick from last issue is pregnant with Zeus’ child, so one of Zeus’ daughters is out for revenge for Zeus’ wife. So Wonder Woman and Panty-Wearing Chick (who is now wearing Daisy Duke shorts, but we’ll keep her name because it’s funny) head to Wonder Woman’s home where everyone is scared about housing Panty-Wearing Chick because of the backlash from the Naked Goddesses. And sure enough, Freaky Goddess attacks and apparently Wonder Woman is her sister. Even though Horse Carcass Dude, who we learn is called Hermes, explains Wonder Woman’s origin to Panty-Wearing Chick in the middle of the issue. This was so bad, dude, that I actually wanted to read the Batman: Noel preview that was at the end of the comic...
... HA! Just wanted to see if you were paying attention there.
Ultimate Comics: Spider-Man #3
Let’s move on to Marvel Comics, with the series I’ve been enjoying the most. This issue automatically owns right off the bat because there’s no Batman: Noel preview at the end! Oh, one thing I like about Marvel is that they have one-page summaries of what happened in each previous issue to remind you of the current storyline, just in case you forget. Anyway, we have Miles and his chubby Asian friend Ganke (already loving this guy; he builds LEGOs and wears a HOWARD THE DUCK t-shirt) continually discussing Miles’ new powers. Eventually they decide to return to Miles’ uncle’s apartment to get the scoop on the mysterious spider, only to find the apartment completely abandoned. On the way home, they encounter an apartment on fire, and Miles uses his powers to rescue a woman, her daughter and their dog. Miles freaks out afterwards and flees the scene. When Ganke finds him in an alley, Miles tells him he just wants to be normal. So Miles and Ganke end up being roommates at the new private school and lead normal lives and study and all that lame school stuff. One night, however, everyone is forced to take shelter in the gym due to nearby superhero activity, and everyone gets word that Spider-Man may have been shot. I cannot continue to praise this this series enough. They’ve done such a great job of portraying Miles as just an average kid with big hopes and dreams, who only wants to be normal. And Ganke as the nerdy sidekick who’s super excited about Miles’ new powers is awesome as well. I seriously cannot say enough good things about this series and I don’t want to wait until November for more!
Uncanny X-Men #544 - The Final Issue
I was going to save this issue for last since it’s apparently the “final” issue of the original X-Men comic series but, well, I don’t know much about the X-Men in the comics. So this review will be a little short. It basically recaps the recent “Schism” series, where apparently the X-Men split up, and appears to be a placeholder between that and the upcoming reboots. Yes, X-Men is splitting into two series, one focusing on Wolverine and the other focusing on Cyclops. We also get “closure” to the series, or at least the feeling of it, but when the very last page is an ad hyping the new issues, the feeling of closure kinda goes away. I’d go “meh” on this one, I’d probably have more feelings had I read any previous issues of the series, but I suppose I’ll be picking up the reboots and see what happens there.
Overall, I’m loving Batman and Ultimate Spider-Man. Everything else has been either fun or average, or a mixture of the two. The only true loser of this batch is Wonder Woman. I want to give up on it, but I feel like need to read something terrible to balance out the awesomeness of Ultimate Spider-Man, for the sake of this blog.
What the fucking fuck is DC thinking interrupting ALL of their series -- two months into a game-changing reboot -- to promote some D-grade holiday special? They need to be pulling out all the stops in fostering good will with their new readers and this runs completely counter to that. It pisses off the old farts like me who are tired of this shit and makes the newbies go, "BWUH? Is this a misprint? What happened? And where'd the rest of my money go?" Goddamn this is one of the most retarded moves they've ever pulled, strictly in a BUSINESS sense. And they've done some massively retarded shit over the years. They cannot be jerking their readership around this early on in a do-or-die publishing strategy. Whoever suggested this should be fired. Whoever allowed it to run should be fired.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what I get more joy out of sometimes: comics that are astoundingly good or astoundingly bad. Wonder Woman sounds like it has landed squarely in the What Is This I Don't Even--? category. But then, I feel like Wonder Woman is a fundamentally dumb concept. Ask any random person who Wonder Woman is and I'm sure the answer would be something along the lines of "an important female superhero!" Ask them to tell you anything ABOUT the character, and I bet that's something along the lines of, "Well, she's a *powerful* female superhero!" So there is some latitude in rejiggering the premise. This, however... sounds rather misguided. If anything, I would welcome it for providing us some good bad comics.
What they've accomplished in two issues of Justice League really ought to have been done in one. Or actually, I say fuck this origin shit and just hit the ground running. First issue opens in medias res with a big action scene wherein each character gets about a page to spotlight his/her powers and internal narrative. That's the first quarter of the book. Second quarter, you flash back to what the fight was about. Third quarter, ramp up the tension, do another, shorter fight scene, but this time with emphasis on how they gel as a team. Fourth quarter, a revelation of some kind leading to a killer cliff-hanger. Obviously that can't be the formula for every issue, but as a new reader hook, I don't think you can go wrong.
A team origin opening arc just feels obligatory and inherently slow. I'm glad it's picking up, but this decompressed pace is so 2003 and not what they should be presenting. It's that "publish for the trade" mentality still at work, but monthly circulation is more important now than ever with expansion into new target demographics and distribution channels. Basically, what I'm saying is that I feel like you rightfully hated on issue 1. :)
Ten years ago, who would have thought that Wolverine's team is the kinder, gentler X-Men? Unlike Marvel's 'Civil War' event from 2006, 'Schism' did a nice job of balancing the opposing viewpoints of Scott and Logan. You could single out individual strengths and weaknesses in both arguments, but they came across as equally valid in their own ways. I'm not crazy about Marvel's adoption of "Hollywood" Wolverine where he's now at the forefront of everything. It's an embracing of his marketability at the expense of his actual character. Though I suppose I can't really fault them, due to Hugh Jackman rocketing Wolverine's visibility and popular appeal into the stratosphere. And hey, at least Cyclops isn't getting kicked to the curb. Marvel's present regime, perhaps more than any other, really appreciates Scott's value as a character. But then, I suppose I could be accused of some bias there.
Thanks for the thoughts! (finally :-p)
ReplyDeleteYeah, these Batman Noel previews are really starting to upset me. It's pretty funny because I don't really mind them being there, but I don't understand why EVERY DC comic has the preview. Well, Justice League doesn't, but still. Batman related stories I can understand, but everything but Green Lantern has had the same preview. I glossed over it the first time but I've ignored them ever since. I guess I'm not "mad" about it because all of these DC titles except for JLA are $2.99, and I've enjoyed most of the actual stories.
I feel the same way about Wonder Woman. What are her powers, exactly? This issue 2 actually explains that apparently her mother, Queen of some Amazonian world, sculpted her out of clay and prayed to the gods to give her a child (she was unable to conceive) and the next morning the clay sculpture was alive! Yet apparently she's also related to this Freaky Zeus Daughter Goddess. This issue actually did more to explain what the heck happened in Issue 1 than it did to explain what is currently going on, and that's bad. I hear Red Hood is a horrific comic, but I don't know much about the character outside the awesome DCAU Batman Under the Red Hood movie from last year, so I'll stick with Wonder Woman as my "bad" comic... for now.
Not much else to say about JLA, really, as I feel you hit all the points I missed, although you can see why they released a "combo pack" with the first 2 issues.
And X-Men, yeah, I'll at least be reading the first few issues of both series. It's weird that you say that Wolverine and Cyclops are only recently becoming the "Top 2" X-Men, as they were both my favorites back in the 90's when I watched the X-Men animated series. Heck, Wolverine was ALWAYS my favorite, and I always feel like he's been the face of the group. I kind of like the idea of a split, and I'll be tuning in... reading?
The Batman Noel fiasco reminds me of when Marvel ran this Spider-Man anti-drug PSA in all of their books for four months in like 1999. I believe the agony of enduring that led many fans at the time down a long road of substance abuse. It really is baffling, the more I think about it. Apparently DC's goals were to achieve the following-
ReplyDelete1.) Piss off their readership by essentially forcing them to pay for the same story (or preview) several times over. It would be forgivable if you only had to encounter this thing once. At worst, a minor annoyance. ("I didn't think I was paying for this when I purchased Detective Comics #2. Oh well, whatever.") At best, it makes the buyer perk up and say, "Hey that's pretty cool! I'm looking forward to reading it when it comes out." But by going about it the way they did, they would have to presume every reader is, y'know, picking up exactly one title. Somehow, I don't think that's what DC wants.
2.) Ensure that any readers *today* who might have been interested in Batman Noel *tomorrow* are now so thoroughly turned off that they don't want to see it, hear it, or speak its name ever again. Which puts them in the position of having to sell the book to an audience that hasn't been overexposed to it already. Meaning they squandered all of the promotional money and effort that went into selling the project to this audience.
Again, if we're talking six months ago, a blunder like this is barely a blip on the radar. But if they really want to move the goal posts through this new publishing initiative, they have got to play the game differently. What a colossal fuck-up.
Re: Wonder Woman...
This issue actually did more to explain what the heck happened in Issue 1 than it did to explain what is currently going on, and that's bad.
Absolutely! There's nothing wrong with saying "come back next month for the second installment of this thrilling story!" But if your hook is "come back next month when this story actually begins!" what the hell are you accomplishing? They can't expect disappointed readers to stick around, and they certainly can't be counting on a drove of new fans starting with issue 2. Just goes to show how important it was to get all their books over during that first month. When you put out so much new material all at once, with no dramatic build or lead-in, it doesn't give you much choice or wiggle room.
Former Marvel Editor-in-Chief Jim Shooter really, really disliked Red Hood and the Outlaws #1. His extensive review can best be summed up with the line, "This story is stupid." Hysterical. http://www.jimshooter.com/2011/10/dc-comics-new-52.html
Finally, a split within the X-Men is something that has been teased since about the late '90s. They've never gone all the way with it, for one reason or another. Historically, it always made the most sense to divide the ranks between traditional leaders Cyclops and Storm. But times have changed. Storm has become terribly marginalized over the years for reasons I can't fathom. Wolverine has certainly always been at the forefront of the X-Men -- and his numerous simultaneous monthly guest appearances, despite a self-proclaimed "loner" status is an old joke at this point -- but they've never presented him as a visionary or even a particularly good leader. Again, it's springboarding off his mainstream popularity, but Marvel has done a reasonable enough job of providing an in-universe justification. Just never thought I'd see Wolverine: leader, Avenger, and Spider-Man's BFF.
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