Let's Get Comical!

Welcome to another edition of Let’s Get Comical!

Apologies for the delay in content, I’ve been working a lot lately, not to mention trying to find time to get all of my Christmas shopping done, along with having a social life. The comic week of December 14 was very light as well, as I only bought two new titles. Therefore I am combining last week and this week (December 21)! Double the pleasure, double the fun! I guess.

I should point out that Justice League was to be reviewed this week, but my comic shop was shorted this week, so I won’t have the issue until next week. It will be reviewed in the next edition of LGC.

Also, Catwoman and Wonder Woman have both been dropped from my pull list. I did not purchase the new issues that dropped this week, although I will probably break and pick them up at some point and use their reviews as filler for slow weeks. Catwoman at least got better after issue one, whereas Wonder Woman is simply a waste of cash. I mean, $3 buys you a bottle of beer at a bar! Much better use of $3 than a Wonder Woman comic.

Let’s get to it!

Green Lantern #4

So when we last left off, Hal Jordan was being disintegrated by the main power source of Korugar. But it turns out to be a SWERVE, the likes of which haven’t been seen since Vince Russo booked WCW in 2000; it’s really some sort of transportation machine. So Hal Jordan is alright, but he and Sinestro are captured by the Sinestro Corps. Hal is thrown into a cell where his ring runs out of power, and with his last ounce of strength he envisions his girlfriend Carol and apologizes to her. Sinestro, meanwhile, is tortured by Professor Insidd, a weird alien that reminds me of Gragra, the obscure alien from Sar Wars Episode I that Jar Jar Binks steals food from. Insidd can’t remove Sinestro’s ring, so Sinestro is thrown into a cell similar to Jordan’s, only it contains the tortured citizens of Korugar, including his former flame Arsona. They fight, and Sinestro feels guilty for creating his corps and subjecting his people to torture and violence. Jordan hears this and convinces Sinestro to create more false rings, not unlike the one Sinestro created for Jordan. Sinestro does, and urges his people to use their rings to escape the cell and take back the planet. But it’s another SWERVE, as Arsona and company announce that they’ll be taking out their frustrations on Sinestro. This was a fun read, and set up the rest of the story very well. Probably my favorite of all of the rebooted Green Lanterns so far.

Batman and Robin #4

If I haven’t mentioned this before, this one is one of my favorite titles from the DC New 52. When we last left our heroes, they were captured by the mysterious Morgan. Morgan shows them footage of the insane supervillains of Gotham and interrogates Batman as to why he never kills them, allowing for them to return and pester him over and over again. The day is saved by Alfred, piloting the Batwing, and chasing down Morgan. Batman and Robin are able to escape, but Morgan finds a way to flee before they can capture him. Back at the Batcave, Bruce and Damian are recovering while Damian demands to know who the mysterious villain is. All Bruce can explain is that he is Morgan Ducard, son of Henry, one of Bruce’s trainers. Damian wants to know more, leading to yet another well-written fight between Bruce and Damian. Damian storms off angry, as Alfred explains to Bruce that Damian witnessed him almost die earlier, and Bruce’s image of an immortal is now gone, perhaps putting fear into Damian’s heart for the first time. Damian and his new dog Titus (that Bruce buys at the end of issue 2) visit the graves of Thomas and Martha Wayne when Morgan makes another appearance, asking Damian to join forces with him, promising he won’t be held back. Damian kills a firefly as the story ends. Awesome stuff yet again, as this series is my second favorite in the DC New 52, trailing only the regular Batman series. The artwork in this issue was just as good as the story, and I love how the writers are able to portray Damian and Bruce as real people. LOVE IT.

Nightwing #4

Dick Grayson’s circus adventures continue! This month, Haly’s Circus is in Miami, and Dick Grayson and his redhead friend Raya are giving each other teh secks on the train ride there. But things get weird when Barbara Gordon makes an appearance, tracking down a new shapeshifting villain called “Spinebender.” He’s like some sort of cross between The Chameleon and Mr. Fantastic. And very lame to boot. Anyway, Barbara’s arrival causes tension between Dick and Raya, so Dick decides to help Barbara out in her search. The two stakeout near a South Beach hotel where a deal is about to go down; some criminal is set to buy some microchips from Spinebender. But Spinebender never shows. Suspicious, Nightwing goes in for a closer look, but Batgirl is attacked by... Nightwing? Oh, it’s just Spinebender in Nightwing disguise. So this causes a big fight between Nightwing, Batgirl, and Spinebender and his mafia thugs. The thugs are easily dispatched and Spinebender is stopped when Nightwing electrocutes him, turning him from rubbery material to glass. So it’s back to the circus where Barbara tells Raya that Dick really cares for her, but she can’t talk to him. So Dick, still hung up on the mystery of the Saiko killer, investigates Mr. Haly’s last message to him, talking about how the answer lies within the heart of the circus. In the middle of the ring, Dick finds a crate containing a little black book containing various names, including his own. Nothing to great with this issue, but nothing bad either. It was a pretty fun “one-off” but did nothing to advance the main storyline. And they almost drew Raya’s boobs too so that’s a positive if you like comic T&A I guess.

Batman #4

Let’s end the DC portion with my favorite of the New 52’s. When we last left Batman, he was being blown to smithereens while investigating the hidden lairs of the mysterious Court of Owls. But that cheeky Batman ALWAYS has an ace up his sleeve and is able to escape somewhat unharmed. He goes back to the Batcave where he rests up and also investigates the remains of his deceased family members while Dick Grayson tries to convince him that he’s nearly died twice now and that maybe he’s underestimating his enemy. This leads to Bruce retelling the tale of his first detective case. After his parents were murdered, Bruce figured there was some sort of conspiracy, with each clue involving owls in some way. He wound up stuck in a secret room for a week and nearly died himself, but learned a lot of lessons about detective work. Batman then goes to investigate a lead in the sewers, where he is attacked by the mysterious masked owls, who drop him into a maze of some sort. A video screen shows some masked fellows welcoming Batman to “The Labyrinth” as we end. The awesomeness of this series continues, and absolutely nothing else I’m reading from DC can even touch this one. It just flies by, and I’m genuinely disappointed to see each issue end, because I have to wait another MONTH

Wolverine and the X-Men #3

Oh no. This comic still sucks, although this one was only halfway unreadable instead of completely unreadable like Issue 2. The island that the Wolverine Academy is on is still bing torn to shreds by a giant creature, but with the help of a powerful kid psychic named Quentin Quire, the monster reveals that he’s part of the island, and controls it or something stupid. It’s just lonely and wants to be a part of the X-Men. So they let him in. And then they finally team up and put an end to the Kade Kilgore/Hellfire Club crap by telling them to go away. What an anticlimactic crapfest. So the X-Men send Matt Murdock to sue the Hellfire Club for damages and in retaliation Kilgore hires Sabretooth and the comic ends. Yep, still sucks, although I did enjoy the flashback at the beginning as well as the random Matt Murdock cameo. The rest is trash. Too wordy at points (especially during the action, wtf) and the artwork is terrible, as is the layout of the panels. Probably going to end up dropping this one, as the Cyclops version is much better executed. Do yourself a favor and avoid this series at all costs. I gave it three chances and it let me down three times, so sayonara Wolverine!

Amazing Spider-Man #676

Do they release enough of these each month? I mean I love Spider-Man, but at $4 an issue, it adds up. Now despite two to three issues dropping each month, I’ve been enjoying them for the most part. This one, however, was terrible. Have you seen the episode of South Park where Towlie writes a book and works at P.F. Changs? The episode that doesn’t have any of the main characters in it? That’s kind of how this one is. The whole thing deals with the Sinister Six (featuring a retarded “dying” version of Doctor Octopus that looks a lot like burned, unmasked Darth Vader in a robotic spider suit) fighting with the Intelligencia, which I have never heard of outside of members Klaw and M.O.D.O.K. Anyway, the Intelligencia has created some stupid weapon that can transport people from earth to the middle of space, which kills them I guess? It’s never really established. And the Sinister Six don’t want them to have it. So there’s a really confusing battle that ends with M.O.D.O.K. giving up or something for no reason whatsoever, and the Sinister Six win I guess? Then Doc Ock says that they couldn’t let the Intelligencia take over the world in 2011 because they’re taking over in 2012. Umm, okay then. No Spider-Man in this issue, which is stupid. Wasn’t he just involved in a storyline involving the Vulture that was left unsolved? Whatever. Apparently this issue is supposed to set up the big storyline of 2012, and I’m hoping that whatever they do, it winds up being a lot better than this waste of an issue. Take a major pass on this one.

New Ultimate Spider-Man #5

We’ll end things with my favorite Marvel title, and it doesn’t disappoint. When we last left Miles, he was getting blindsided by Spider Woman. She wants answers, specifically how Miles got spider powers and why he’s prancing around town in Spider-Man’s costume. He ends up knocking himself out while trying to escape, and wakes up in the headquarters of the Ultimates, featuring the likeness of SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON as Nick Fury! The Ultimates have taken blood samples and know that he has spider powers. They simply want to know how he got them. Miles explains about the spider coming out of his uncle’s bag, and Fury responds by informing Miles that his uncle is a criminal the FBI refers to as “The Prowler.” Things are cut short as Electro escapes from wherever he is being held, and the Avengers can’t stop him. But Miles comes to the rescue, as he unleashes a “toxic venom” by way of a move I will now refer to as the Poke of Death. This impresses the Ultimates, who send Spider Woman to gift Miles a gift (featuring what is sadly the only appearance of Ganke in this issue, wearing a generic t-shirt with no awesome logos). The gift? A Spider-Man costume of his very own. And Ganke gets the line of the comic here by being more amazed at Miles talking to a girl. The issue ends with our first view of Miles in his new Spider-Man costume.

I. LOVE. THIS. SERIES.

Seriously, this series continues to KICK ASS each and every issue, and this one was no exception. Even when you think you aren’t getting Ganke, BAM, here he is. And Miles is still the most likeable character in comics today. And how can you hate something featuring the likeness of SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON? The setup for the next issue is great too, as it sounds like Miles is getting ready to face off with his uncle. CANNOT WAIT.

Overall, a decent last two weeks of comics, mainly thanks to the awesomeness of Batman, Batman and Robin and Ultimate Spider-Man counteracting the suckiness that is Wolverine.

Coming Next Week: Justice League! NEW comics added to my review list! Daredevil! Batwoman! And will I ever read the 600^th issue of Fantastic Four? 100 pages is a lot...