We’re halfway through the unveiling of the brackets, so let’s see who else will contend for the crown of Baddest Dude in Wrestling!
VS. 
[1] THE GREAT KHALI VS. [16] GLACIER
When Madison Square Garden chants “You Can’t Wrestle” in unison at you, you know that you’re the definition of So Bad, Dude. Just like our number three overall seed, The Great Khali. Khali is so bad that he botched a move on some guy in Japan during a practice session, giving him a concussion. The guy kept taking the same move over and over again and later died. So Khali came to America where he became a huge star in the Adam Sandler version of The Longest Yard. This of course got him noticed by WWE, who signed him to a contract and shoved him down our throats. Khali has done it all: “murder” the Undertaker, win a World Heavyweight Championship, and make out with fat, ugly women on camera. Well, calling those women fat and ugly is pretty cold, but not as cold as his 16th seeded opponent, Glacier. Glacier was brought in to WCW as a play on Sub Zero from Mortal Kombat, and received lots of undeserved television time. Most of which was spent on feuds with Ernest “The Cat” Miller and Kanyon. Glacier later sold his gear to Kaz Hayashi for some reason. He was to be brought back to save WCW in 2001, but it was never meant to be, as the company was sold to Vince McMahon. Will Khali triumph or will Blood Run Cold into the second round?
VS. 
[8] TED DIBIASE, JR. VS. [9] ZEUS/Z-GANGSTA
Our number eight seed is the son of the legendary Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase, Ted DiBiase, Jr. He arrived in WWE in 2008 and formed a team with Cody Rhodes, and the two quickly became stooges for Randy Orton as Legacy. It SUCKED, and the group became personal jobbers for John Cena and D-Generation X. Now, ironically, Cody Rhodes used to be just as boring as DiBiase, but Rhodes became Dashing and developed a personality and in-ring skill. DiBiase, urm, got Virgil as a manager for two weeks and fucks Maryse. Well I guess that’s not that bad. His opponent is arguably more famous than anybody in the tournament. Whereas the Great Khali was a supporting actor in an Adam Sandler film, Zeus was the main antagonist in a WWE Studios film! While No Holds Barred was not successful, Zeus rode the coattails of his role into a WCW appearance as Z-Gangsta, and later transitioned into a full time Hollywood actor, appearing in films such as Friday and The Dark Knight. Will Zeus earn the role of a lifetime or will DiBiase buy his way into round 2?
VS. 
[5] DAVID FLAIR VS. [12] THE SANDMAN
It’s a 1999 WCW midcard match come to life! Our fifth seed is another son of a legendary wrestler. David Flair, son of Ric Flair, never wanted to be a wrestler, but he debuted in WCW in 1998 as part of an angle between Ric Flair and Eric Bischoff. Flair had a handful of matches, but WCW threw trucks of money at him, so he decided to stick around. David Flair was So Bad, Dude that WCW crafted an angle where President Ric Flair forced wrestlers to lose matches to David! David even held the US Championship, and Tony Schiavone would regularly talk about how much he sucked! David ended up in a pretty entertaining stable with Krowbar and Daffney before ENTER VINCE RUSSO made him feud with his father, claiming Russo to be the “dad he never had.” David wound up in the WWF for a cup of coffee, getting his ass kicked by the Undertaker and having a titantron with a disappointed Ric Flair in it. His opponent drinks, smokes, and gives zero fucks. The Sandman was originally a California surfer dude before heading to a bingo hall in Philadelphia where he became EXTREME! He did some angles featuring his son and wife and basically drank, smoke and bashed people in the head with canes. He randomly went to WCW in 1999 as Hardcore Hak, where he wore barbed wire and was basically a neutered version of his ECW character. Back to ECW, and then WWECW where he did a whole lot of nothing. WHICH WILL COME OUT VICTORIOUS?
VS. 
[4] EDWARD HARRISON LESLIE VS. [13] JUSTIN CREDIBLE
Our fourth seed is the Best Butty of Hulk Hogan, Mr. Edward Harrison Leslie, but perhaps you know him better by his “wrestling” name or Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake. Or The Zodiac. Or The Disciple. Or The Booty Man. Or Brother Bruti. Or The Man With No Name. Or... fuck, that’s a lot of names. But yes, Ed Leslie has a million gimmicks, and all of them were So Bad, Dude. Much of Leslie’s success came from the fact that he was friends with Hulk Hogan, culminating in Leslie receiving a WCW Title match at Starrcade 1994. Anywhere Hogan was, Leslie wouldn’t be far behind. This included various appearances on Hogan’s reality series Hogan Knows Best. His opponent is not just amazing, he’s Justin Credible! Well, maybe to ECW fans. Credible was the other, non-famous member of the Clique, wrestling under a mask as Aldo Montoya, the Portuguese Man of War until he was cast off to ECW where he started wearing jorts and teamed up with Lance Storm and Dawn Marie as the Impact Players. I think he won the ECW title and held it for what seemed like forever. After ECW’s demise, Credible found himself in the WWF again, paired with X-Pac and Albert as X-Factor, a stable that was just as awful as their theme music. He was fired and made various appearances in TNA. Currently works at Olive Garden. Will Hogan’s influence get Leslie to the second round, or will you vote to make the second round not just amazing, but just incredible?
VS. 
[6] TIGER ALI SINGH VS. [11] JINDER MAHAL
Indian Royalty COLLIDES in this “epic” matchup. Considering that Indians rarely bathe, I bet this matchup would smell just as bad as you would expect it to suck from an in-ring perspective. The sixth seeded son of Tiger Jeet Singh, apparently a huge name in Japan, Tiger Ali-Singh won the 1997 WWF Kuwaiti Cup and was in the crowd of Summerslam 1997. Then he vanished forever until he came back as an EVIL RICH INDIAN MAN with a servant named Babu. Perhaps his most famous segment was when he tried to pay Kurt Angle to blow his nose in the American flag on an episode of Heat. Anyway, Singh sucked and managed Lo Down before being released in 2002. His opponent I know little about either, as every time he shows up on Raw, he jobs, yet I’m reminded of Singh because he really, really sucks. Which Indian will move on to the second round? YOU DECIDE.
VS. 
[3] THE FRANCHISE SHANE DOUGLAS VS. [14] UNCLE ELMER
AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA! SCOTT’S BLOG OF DOOM... I mean, CRUISE WORLD ORDER. CUT THE DAMN MUSIC! OOOOOOOOOH, our number three seed is not just a bad wrestler, but a bad interviewer too! The former dean is the definition of “Legend in his Own Mind” as he threw down and spat on the NWA title in between midcard stints in WCW and the WWF, leading to the creation of ECW. He returned to ECW and did nothing until he returned to WCW where he also did nothing. Then he went to TNA where he swayed giving interviews and managed the up-and-coming Naturals, which eventually led to them becoming jobbers and killing their careers. He now works at Target and attends WWE shows trying to start ECW chants. His opponent is Uncle Elmer, who I know nothing about, so here’s OUR BOY AN-DAY for help: I honestly couldn’t tell you anything that Elmer accomplished in the WWF except that he got hitched. I think Piper and Ventura made fun of him, and then he called it a day from the biz. However not only was he so bad in wrasslin, he was so bad in LIFE, because Wikipedia informed me that he was known for selling fake Rolex watches. Will Shane Douglas mess with a country boy or is Elmer about to get his assahahahahahahahaaaaaaa... FRANCHISED!
VS. 
[7] STEVE MONGO MCMICHAEL VS. [10] BIG JOHN STUDD
Our number seven seed is apropos, and that don’t mean you’re digging around in the dirt with farm implements, baby! This magnificent athlete was why people should have been watching the WCW, baby! Steve McMichael was a football player for A University of Texas, where he made the cover of Dave Campbell’s Texas Football, as seen above. He was drafted into the NFL where he became a star with the Chicago Bears. He transitioned his way into wrestling, taking over the commentary spot on Nitro, with his Chihuahua, Pepe, where he hated Bobby the Stain. Mongo eventually hit the ring, where his skills were just as bad as his commentary. He was also the first feud for Bill Goldberg, and a member of the Four Horsemen, before his wife Debra divorced him. He then faded into Chicago Sports Radio obscurity. Big John Studd was once again before my time, as I’ve only seen his match with Andre the Giant from Wrestlemania I, so once again, here’s Our Boy An-Day to explain the tenth seed, since I wasn’t around during his run: Big John Studd may have had a lot of high profile moments, such as winning the 89 Rumble and having a match with Hulk Hogan in the rain, yet I can’t say I actually enjoyed him. He was big, he had a beard, and he had great hair, which is all that was required to get a push in the 1980’s. Well said, An-Day.
VS. 
[2] MABEL/VISCERA/BIG DADDY V VS. [15] THE INSANE CLOWN POSSE
Our number two seed is another big fat black guy, this time in the form of Mabel/Viscera! A WWF mainstay as a member of the rapping group Men on a Mission, Mabel ditched Mo and Oscar to become the 1995 King of the Ring, which is generally considered to be the worst KOTR Tournament ever. The show was so bad that the Philadelphia crowd chanted for ECW! Now that’s SBD. Mabel disappeared after a terrible match against Kevin Nash at Summerslam 1995, reappearing at the 1999 Royal Rumble as a present for Mankind. He was later abducted by the Ministry of Darkness and became Viscera. He wore black leather and continued to be fat and suck. After another disappearance, he returned to WWE in 2005 as The World’s Largest Love Machine, licking cotton candy in an effort to win Lillian Garcia’s heart. Then he went to WWECW where he shed his clothing and became Big Daddy V. His opponents are Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J, otherwise known as the Insane Clown Posse. The Posse has somehow made stops in every major wrestling organization as part of their quest to discover how fucking magnets work. The duo seconded the Oddities to the ring in the WWF where they also performed the Oddities’ theme song. After they realized that the WWF didn’t use magnets, the ICP headed to WCW where they did a bunch of shit with Vampiro and the Dark Carnival. One of them got powerbombed off of a bus by Mike Awesome. And they did some junk in ECW too I guess. Their main contribution to the wrestling world is their own organization, Juggalo Championshit Wrestling. When they aren’t wrestling, the ICP is busy giving us terrible music, asking us how fucking magnets work and breeding disciples that wear stupid clown facepaint and waltz around in black clothing yelling “JUGGALOS FA LYFE!” Will you believe in miracles and have the ICP dethrone Mabel or will the power of repelling magnets keep ICP out of the second round?
And that does it for our third bracket! One more bracket left to reveal. Sixteen more awful wrestlers. Will your So Bad, Dude make it in? TUNE IN TO THE FRIDAY FILM FIESTA TO FIND OUT!
Voting for Round One (all four brackets) ends Saturday Night June 16 at Midnight. Different time zones will be accounted for, late votes will not! And remember, you MUST email/Facebook your votes for them to count. You can vote either as each bracket as posted or wait and send one email for all the brackets.
Vote via email at tbanks531 AT gmail DOT com OR via Facebook message!
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