Time for another edition of the Simpsons Summer Marathon! Today we’ll be discussing Season 5 of the show starring America’s favorite family. I apologize for these things taking so long to crank out. The episodes are a blast to watch but it takes forever to write about them. Which jokes should I reference? Should I try to describe everything going on? WHO TOOK MY FALSE TEETH?!?!?
I might say this about every season of the show, but this one is probably the best. Now let’s find out just how good it really is…
Disc 1
“Homer’s Barbershop Quartet”
During a trip to the Springfield Swap Meet, Lisa finds a record for a band called The Be Sharps, featuring Homer. Homer recaps to his family the tale of the mid-1980’s when he formed a barbershop quartet with Chief Wiggum, Principal Skinner and Apu. They sang at local retirement homes until they received interest from a musical agent who offers them a record deal in exchange for replacing Wiggum. Barney becomes their fourth member when they hear him singing in the bathroom at Moe’s. The band’s first hit, “Baby on Board,” is inspired by a sign Marge buys so people will quit ramming into their cars. It takes Homer time to get used to life as a famous musician, where he learns that lots of women will want to have sex with him, and he does his best to spend time with his family. The Be Sharps win a Grammy award (which Homer trades for a bottle of champagne) and Homer gets to meet George Harrison, who points him in the direction of a pile of brownies. But life on the road has its downsides for the Simpsons. Marge tries to replace Homer with a scarecrow which has disastrous results! Barney begins dating a “Japanese Conceptual Artist” who tries to change the image of the Be Sharps, with disastrous results! Us Magazine declares the Be Sharps to be “Not” rather than “Hot” and the band disbands, returning to their old lives. Telling the story makes Homer nostalgic, and he reunites the Be Sharps on the roof of Moe’s where they sing “Baby on Board.” Good stuff, with lots of Beatles references, 80’s references and Chief Wiggum’s jealousy is hilarious.
“Cape Feare”
“Late Night with McBain” is interrupted by mail call, where Bart receives a letter written in blood saying only “I’m Going to Kill You.” Bart gets more letters, all concerning the death of him. But who would want to hurt this century’s Dennis the Menace? The answer: Sideshow Bob. Writing so many letters with blood causes Bob to pass out (“Use a pen, Sideshow Bob!”) and he eventually earns parole after explaining that his “Die Bart, Die” tattoo is German for “The Bart, The” and we all know that no one who speaks German can be an evil man! So with Bob out on parole, the Simpsons enter the Witness Relocation Program and become The Thompsons after excruciating training. The family moves to a house boat on Terror Lake, but Bob hides under the car, even when Homer drives through a cactus patch. Bob invades the house boat one night and ties up the Thompsons and gives Bart one final wish before he is to be killed. Bart requests that Bob sing the HMS Pinafore (“I shall send you to heaven before I send you to hell!”), which takes long enough for the house boat, which Bob untied, to sail back to Springfield, where the police are waiting. This episode features girls calling Bart “fatty fatty fat fat” which I in my infinite wisdom, once called a girl. At age 20. Yes. Flanders’ Freddy Krueger hedge clippers drew a pop from me. And this episode also references pretty much every horror film ever. Awesome stuff, as is par the course for Bob episodes.
“Homer Goes to College”
The SNPP’s daily naptime is ruined by an inspection committee. Smithers takes the three dumbest employees to the basement, where they are to look after a bee. Of course Homer screws it up (“The bee bit my bottom and now my bottom’s big!”) and finds his way to the testing area. Homer fails miserably, melting the inspection van despite it containing zero nuclear power. In order to avoid a lawsuit, Burns forces Homer to return to college to complete Nuclear Physics 101. If it’s anything like the Physics classes I had to take at Texas A&M, we should probably expect Homer to get a new job. Homer can’t even get into college, forcing Burns to pull some strings at Springfield University. Homer preps for college by watching Animal House ripoffs, but life on campus is nothing like the films Homer watches. There are no jocks or nerds, the dean is neither old nor evil, and freshmen hate spiked punch. Homer is assigned three brains as tutors, and is devastated to find out they are nerds. Trying to get them to be cool, Bart arranges a prank and has them steal Sir Oinks-a-Lot, mascot of Springfield A&M. They get caught and are expelled. Homer invites the nerds to live with him, but they irritate the rest of the family with their dial-up internet connections, among other things. Homer successfully gets the nerds readmitted after running over the dean, and they help him cram for his final exam, which he fails. The nerds repay Homer by hacking into SU’s computer system and changing his grade. Homer laughing like a jerk at the professor dropping his notes is something you can only appreciate AFTER you’ve set foot in a college classroom. In fact, the whole episode, which was great before I went to college, is made even better having actually been.
“Rosebud”
Mr. Burns keeps having flashbacks featuring his childhood teddy bear Bobo, which he left behind when he left his parents to live with a twisted, heartless billionaire. Burns throws a birthday party featuring The Ramones singing Happy Birthday and Homer performing comedy. The party is an epic fail, and Burns reveals to Smithers that he wants his bear. We see the adventures of Bobo, who winds up in a bag of ice purchased by Bart and given to Maggie. When Homer realizes his daughter has possession of Bobo, he tries to sell it to Burns, but Maggie prevents him from doing so, as she has grown fond of the bear. Attempts by Burns to invade the Simpsons’ home to steal back Bobo end in hilarity. Burns invades television and cuts off shipments of beer to Springfield until he gets the bear causing a riot to steal it. However the crowd sees a sad Maggie and understands Homer’s position. Burns returns to beg for the bear one last time, and Maggie eventually gives Bobo back to him, and he holds on to it for the rest of eternity... literally. More good stuff with an obvious homage to Citizen Kane and general Burns/Smithers goofiness.
“Treehouse of Horror IV”
Bart introduces our three stories walking through an art museum featuring many famous paintings. This is an homage to the old TV series Night Gallery from my research (Wikipedia).
The Devil and Homer Simpson: Homer goes crazy at work when he misses the morning donuts and his emergency backup donut has been eaten long ago. He proclaims that he’d sell his soul for a donut, causing the Devil to appear. Shockingly, the Devil is Ned Flanders (“It’s always the person you least suspect!”). Flanders gives Homer the most delicious donut ever made but Homer doesn’t finish it, meaning the Devil can’t take Homer’s soul. However one night Homer needs a snack, and the only food in the fridge is the remaining piece of the Hell Donut. Homer eats it and is sent to Hell’s Ironic Punishment division where he is fed all the donuts in the world. Homer is sent to court, despite his lawyer Lionel Hutz escaping when the Devil picks a jury full of evil people such as Lizzie Borden and Benedict Arnold. However, Marge wins the case when she provides the court with an old photograph with a note written by Homer – it says that his soul belongs to her. The Devil loses the case, but gets the last laugh at the end when he turns Homer’s head into a donut.
Terror at 5½ Feet: Bart has a nightmare in which he envisions his own death by a school bus accident. Naturally, he is nervous about riding the bus to school the next morning. Lisa asks everyone on the bus to be nice to him, but he gets pantsed instead (though he does take attention away from Martin’s “Wang Computers” shirt). On the ride to school Bart notices a gremlin on the side of the bus, but nobody else sees it when Bart freaks out. For example, Otto only sees Hans Moleman driving a Gremlin. The gremlin tears up the bus until Bart grabs a flair gun and shoots the gremlin, which bounces off of Ned Flanders’ car. Once the bus arrives at school, everyone sees the damage to the bus, but still doesn’t believe Bart about the gremlin. Bart is sent to a mental hospital, and sees the gremlin again from the ambulance’s window.
Bart Simpson’s Dracula: Oh man if only Twilight were around in 1993 for classic Simpsons to mock. Vampirical activity has been reported around Springfield and Lisa is the only one who expresses any concern. The Simpsons are invited to Mr. Burns’ manor, which has been relocated to Pennylvania and has become quite castle-like. Burns also dresses similar to a vampire now. Bart and Lisa discover a creepy basement full of vampire artifacts, and later Bart goes missing, though Burns brings him to breakfast the next morning, good as new. Or is he? The Simpsons return home and the new Bart Vampire tries to bite Lisa, though Homer and Marge interrupt. The family returns to Burns’ manor to drive a stake through Burns’ heart. Of course Homer thinks the heart is in the groin area. Ouch. So with head vampire Burns dead, life returns to normal. Or does it? Turns out Marge is the head vampire, as she has a life outside the house. But rather than bite Lisa, everyone breaks the fourth wall and wishes the audience a happy Halloween, transitioning into a parody of A Charlie Brown Christmas with the family humming and Milhouse on that little piano.
Okay, this first disc rocks the body that rocks the party.
Disc 2
“Marge on the Lam”
Marge pledges money for a public TV telethon and earns two free tickets to the ballet. Homer finds out what ballet is and no longer wants to go but Marge won’t let him go back on his promise. Things change when Homer gets his hand caught in two soda machines trying to get free drinks. Marge ends up taking neighbor Ruth Powers. The two have a great time and decide to have a girls night out. Homer is freed when it is discovered he’s simply holding onto the sodas and returns home, devastated to find out that Marge would rather go out than watch Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman. Homer tries to have fun with his friends, but everyone is busy. He hires Lionel Hutz to babysit Bart and Lisa while he walks around town looking for something to do. Marge and Ruth go clubbing and then to the top of the Springfield sign. Homer arrives just as they leave and meets Chief Wiggum, who gives him a ride home. They encounter Ruth and Marge, who flee from the cops because Ruth stole her ex-husband’s car. Marge is given the opportunity to go home but decides to stick it out with Ruth. The car chase goes on overnight and into the morning, where Marge and Ruth almost drive off a cliff. They stop just in time, although Wiggum and Homer drive off the cliff… with hilarious results! Decent episode with a couple of laughs.
“Bart’s Inner Child”
One morning Homer sees a newspaper ad for a free trampoline, which he races to pick up. He winds up charging people to jump on it, but Marge forces him to get rid of it when too many children hurt themselves. A disappointed Simpson family tells Marge that she nags too much, and she angrily goes to stay with Patty and Selma. They show her a video from a Dr. Phil like self-help character named Brad Goodman, who can help cure anything, especially nagging. Marge and Homer are brought closer together by the video and take Bart to a Brad Goodman seminar to cure his misbehavior. Goodman, however, praises Bart for doing whatever he wants, and praises Homer and Marge for his upbringing. Goodman encourages Springfield residents to act more like Bart, which depresses Bart since everyone is stealing his identity. Springfield holds a “Do What You Feel” festival to celebrate their new feelings, which ends in disaster when the planners didn’t feel like setting rides and everything else up properly. This causes another Springfield riot, chasing Bart and blaming him for the “do as you feel” mayhem. The riot gives up the chase and the Simpsons return home to watch more television. This one is a lot better than I remember it being to be honest.
“Boy Scoutz N the Hood”
YES. Bart and Milhouse are kicked out of an arcade for having no money but find a $20 that flew away from Homer’s possession. They buy a pure syrup Squishee, become inebriated and “go crazy Broadway style.” The next morning Bart awakens from a blackout and Lisa informs him that he joined the Junior Campers on his drunken rampage (Milhouse, meanwhile, shaved a dirty word into his hair). Bart plans on leaving the Junior Campers but reconsiders when it gets him out of a pop test. He also realizes that the Junior Campers get to carry pocketknives. Bart excels at the Junior Campers despite Homer’s teasing. However, Bart and Homer are forced to attend the annual father/son rafting trip, featuring celebrity guest dad Ernest Borgnine! Homer and Bart end up on a raft with Rod and Ned Flanders. Homer loses the map while wearing it as a hat, and the pair gets separated from the rest of the group and sail out to sea. Lack of food and water cause everyone to go crazy and all hope is lost when Homer pops a hole in the raft with a pocketknife he stole from Borgnine. However, Homer sniffs out a Krusty Burger on an off-shore oil rig and the group is saved. Borgnine’s group, however, isn’t as lucky, winding up in an abandoned summer camp where they are attacked by Jason Voorhees. Good stuff right here.
“The Last Temptation of Homer”
The SNPP is reprimanded by the Department of Labor for sexist hiring policies (absolutely no women aka work is a total sausage fest) and also hiring illegal immigrants (“Zutroff here is as American as apple pie!”) and ducks. Not Oregon Ducks, but ducks nonetheless. Burns is forced to hire a female employee and finds Mindy Simmons, who Homer instantly imagines naked on a clam (“Homer, what’s the matter? Ain’t you ever seen a naked chick riding on a clam before?”). Homer and Mindy hit it off, and Homer fears he is falling in love with her. Barney convinces Homer that his attraction is all physical, and that Homer will realize they have nothing in common if he talks to her. Homer is shocked to find out that he and Mindy share the same interests, including donuts, beer and TV! Think unsexy thoughts! Homer returns home that night to find Marge looking unattractive due to a cold and Bart looking like a nerd due to temporarily needing glasses, scalp medication and giant shoes (“Yerr goofy lookin’ huhuhuy!”). Homer has a vision of what would happen if he were to marry Mindy: Marge is President while Homer lives in a mansion, rich and in-shape. Facing a marital crisis, things are made worse when Homer and Mindy are selected to represent the SNPP at an energy convention in Capitol City. After giving into their temptations (ordering room service, sillyheads!), they are elected king and queen of the convention. The two share a talk one night after a romantic dinner and Homer and Mindy express their feelings to each other. Mindy encourages him to listen to his heart, and Homer invites Marge to Capitol City to stay with him for the rest of the trip. Awwwwww. More goodness here, with loads of laughs.
“$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)”
The economy sucks! And that isn’t me making a comment on the current economic situation, the Springfield economy sucks at the beginning of this episode. At a town hall meeting, the residents decide to legalize gambling in hopes of improving the situations. And shockingly, Marge, the town nag, approves! Burns builds a casino with a creative name: Mr. Burns’ Casino. Homer is hired as a blackjack dealer, and always busts, causing him to become the most popular dealer in the casino. Bart is unable to enter the casino and starts one of his own in his treehouse, featuring Milhouse the Magician and Robert Goulet singing the Batman version of “Jingle Bells.” Marge finds a quarter on the ground and uses it in a slot machine, where she wins many more quarters. She slowly develops an addiction to gambling, never comes home leaving the house with dirty dishes, no food and a Boogeyman scare. She also forgets that she promised to help make Lisa’s Florida costume for the Springfield Elementary geography pageant, causing her to be nominated for the “No Parental Help on the Costume” award when Homer makes it for her. Enraged, Homer marches down to the casino to force her to admit she has a gambling problem. Mr. Burns, who has become a Howard Hughes-esque hermit and germophobe since opening the casino, sees Homer’s rampage and demotes him to working at the Power Plant, causing him to realize how much he misses it. Marge admits her problem in the end and promises never to neglect her family again. Burns and Homer were the winners here I thought, despite the main feature focusing on Marge.
“Homer the Vigilante”
A cat burglar sneaks through town one night, stealing all of the Springfield residents’ favorite possessions. The town is on edge, with nobody trusting anybody! When Homer notices how depressed Lisa is without her saxophone, Homer promises to get it back for her. Now as we all know, the police suck and can’t do anything except eat donuts and give out unfair speeding tickets at the end of the month, and Chief Wiggum and the SPD are no exception. So Flanders comes up with the idea to form a neighborhood watch, and Homer is elected to lead it. The squad is initially seen as heroes, but the town turns on them after they wind up abusing their power and becoming vigilantes. Homer is interviews about his antics on Kent Brockman’s Smartline and the cat burglar calls in, warning everyone that he plans on stealing the world’s largest cubic zirconia from the Springfield Museum. Homer promises to guard the museum but winds up leaving his post and getting drunk with teenagers. The burglar steals the zirconia and Homer is pelted with tomatoes by the residents of Springfield. Jimbo even announces that Homer has disappointed him and that he’s going to law school! Eventually Grampa tells Homer that he knows who the burglar is: a man named Malloy who lives in the Springfield retirement home. Grampa noticed that Malloy always wears sneakers (for sneaking!) and also owns the world’s largest cubic zirconia. Springfield residents apprehend Malloy, who returns their treasured items but casually mentions that he buried his loot underneath a big T. As the townspeople search for the fictitious treasure, Malloy escapes from jail.
Disc 3
“Bart Gets Famous”
It’s Springfield Elementary 4th Grade field trip day! Oh wait, they’re just going to tour the Box Factory again. The tour sucks, as is expected, and Bart sneaks across the street to the TV studio where they film Krusty the Clown and other non-box related programming. While the class thinks Bart has been turned into a box (“My boy is a box! DAMN YOU! A BOX!”), Bart yoinks a Danish from Kent Brockman and earns a job working as Krusty the Clown’s assistant after school. Bart learns to hate showbusiness, and is ready to walk out until Krusty needs him for a sketch. Bart causes disaster to strike and utters the phrase “I didn’t do it” causing the crowd to pop huge. This earns Bart a role on the show as the “I Didn’t Do It Boy,” and his popularity skyrockets. I Didn’t Do It Boy merchandise is all over the place but after a guest appearance on Late Night with Conan O’Brien, Bart realizes that people only like him for his line and that his popularity is only temporarily. And when his act finally does get old, Bart is given the ole Hollywood heave ho. The hilarious ending sees all of the one-dimensional characters going through their catchphrases. Well, all except Lisa, who has no catchphrase.
“Homer and Apu”
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Apu’s dirty practices of selling expired dairy and meat products at inflated prices finally comes back to bite him when Homer falls ill after eating ham that expired in 1989. Homer is recruited for Kent Brockman’s “Bite Back” investigative journalism program, where he blows the whistle on the Kwik-E-Mart by wearing an oversized cowboy hat with a hidden camera and microphone. As a result, Apu is fired and decides to apologize to Homer in order to balance his karma. Apu begins living with the Simpsons and becomes their housecleaner while James Woods is hired as Apu’s replacement at the Kwik-E-Mart. Apu seems to enjoy living with the family, expressing his happiness via song, although Apu really DOES need the Kwik-E-Mart (“He lied to us through song!”). Homer and Apu travel to the Kwik-E-Mart HQ in India to appeal Apu’s case. Once there they are greeted by the Head of the Kwik-E-Mart who grants them three questions, and Homer blunders them away in his usual fashion. Apu is eventually able to reclaim his job by saving James Woods’ life in a robbery.
“Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy”
Ah, the episode that defines me as a collector of Star Wars action figures. After meeting Matlock, Grampa decides to give the Simpsons their inheritance money. A trip to the toy store results in Lisa buying the latest Malibu Stacy doll. It talks! Lisa is upset because the doll only talks about making sandwiches and other things Lisa feels women shouldn’t have to do. Know your role, Lisa. Lisa and Marge go on the Malibu Stacy factory tour, where we find that Waylon Smithers owns the world’s largest collection of Stacy dolls. With the help of Smithers, Lisa is able to meet with the creator of Malibu Stacy and air her grievances. The two develop plans for a new doll that will teach women that they don’t have to be homemakers when they grow up. The hype for “Lisa Lionheart” is extreme and even has the Malibu Stacy Corporation worried. They counter with a new Malibu Stacy, a rerelease of the old one which comes with a new hat. A new hat! The girls love it and buy millions, leaving Lisa Lionheart warming the shelves. This is my life as a Star Wars toy collector, rebuying rereleased characters because they come with robes or capes. Sigh. The B-Story involves Grampa getting a job at Krusty Burger and being awful at it.
“Deep Space Homer”
HERE WE GO. NASA’s shuttle launch ratings are dropping to Longhorn Network levels of low (my projections as of July 2011, before the network launches), to the point where they’re losing to the Connie Chung Christmas Special. NASA decides it can boost ratings by putting normal, everyday people into space. Homer and Barney are selected for a competition with the winner being flown into space with Buzz Aldrin and Race Banyon. Homer wins by default after Barney gets drunk on non-alcoholic champagne. The space launch is a ratings success, although when Homer tries to eat a bag of chips in space it ends with disastrous results. I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. HAIL ANTS. More disaster strikes on the way home when the door handle breaks, and the astronauts risk burning up on re-entry. But Homer saves the day by sealing the door with an inanimate carbon rod (which beat out Homer for SNPP Employee of the Week at the beginning of the episode). IN ROD WE TRUST. Quite possibly one of the greatest Simpsons episodes ever.
“Homer Loves Flanders”
The Shelbyville Sharks are in town for the Pigskin Classic against the Springfield Atoms, and Homer can’t find tickets. Flanders wins a pair from the radio and decides to invite Homer. Homer has a fantastic time with Ned (“You bought me a nacho hat!”) and decides to reevaluate his hatred of Ned. Homer begins spending all of his spare time with Ned, to the point of intruding on his actions. Homer even receives credit for Ned’s charity work. Flanders has a dream where he murders a large group of people, and awakes believing that he hates Homer. The Flanders family has to avoid Homer at all costs, leading to Ned being arrested for being hopped up on goofballs. When Ned has an outburst at church, Homer defends him and everyone apologizes for turning on Ned. Flanders and Homer remain friends, but as Lisa predicts, everything goes back to normal next week at the same Simpson time, same FOX channel. This includes Homer hating Flanders again.
“Bart Gets an Elephant”
The house is filthy and Marge forbids the family from doing anything until it’s clean. Bart listens to the radio as he cleans and ends up winning a radio contest where he can choose between $10,000 and an elephant as his prize. Being Bart, he goes for the elephant. KBBL is forced to deliver, and Bart gets his elephant which he names Stampy. Springfielders pay to see the elephant, but the costs are just too high and the Simpsons are forced to sale Stampy. Homer reaches a deal with an ivory dealer but Bart and Stampy run away the night before he is to be sold. They find Bart and Stampy at the Springfield Tar Pits where Bart and Lisa plead for Homer to donate Stampy to the local wildlife preserve. Homer falls into a pit but is rescued by Stampy. Feeling thankful for Stampy saving his life, Homer decides the best thing to do is donate Stampy to the animal refuge.
Disc 4
“Burns’ Heir”
After a near-death experience in the bathtub, Mr. Burns decides that he needs an heir to leave his vast fortune to. Tryouts are held for all the boys in Springfield, but Burns hates all of them. He changes his mind on Bart, however, when he catches Bart throwing stones at his mansion after Burns embarrassed Bart after his audition. Marge suggests that Bart spend time with Burns, and the two begin to bond. After a fight with his parents one evening, Bart runs away to live with Burns, who gives Bart everything he wants. While Burns hires actors to portray the Simpsons discussing how much they don’t miss Bart, The Simpsons hire a deprogrammer to recover Bart and reverse his brainwashing. He ends up making Hans Moleman think he is the Simpsons’ son. One day Burns allows Bart to do some firing at the SNPP, and winds up having to fire Homer. However, Bart fires himself as Burns’ heir and returns home to his loving family.
“Sweet Seymour Skinner’s Baadasssss Song”
Bart has trouble finding something to bring to show and tell and winds up taking Santa’s Little Helper. SLH eventually sneaks out and makes his way into the air vents. Goundskeeper Willie is sent to recover SLH in a hilarious parody of Alien. Superintendent Chalmers makes a surprise visit and ends Principal Skinner’s bad day by firing him due to the chaos. Ned Flanders is hired as Springfield Elementary’s new principal, but Bart feels guilty about getting Skinner fired. Or is that a spider biting him? Nevertheless, Bart begins spending time with Skinner outside of school and the two quickly find out they have much in common and don’t necessarily have to be enemies. However Skinner misses his old job and decides to re-enlist in the Army, the only other place he was ever truly happy. Meanwhile, Flanders is a total pushover as principal, and the inmates are running the asylum. Bart begs Skinner to return to the school, even if it means the two can no longer be friends. When Flanders gets fired for the ultimate no-no (saying a prayer in a public school), Skinner returns and things return to normal.
“The Boy Who Knew Too Much”
It’s a glorious day outside, and the kids are stuck in school. For extra time too due to Bart’s Lil’ Bastard Clock Tampering Kit. Bart decides to sneak out and play hooky, but Skinner is hot on his trail like some sort of non-giving-up-school-guy. Bart winds up escaping by hopping into Freddie Quimby’s sports car and is taken to a birthday party Mayor Quimby is throwing for his nephew. While there, Bart witnesses Freddie Quimby lay the SmackDown on a French Waiter who refuses to keep saying “chowder” in his funny French accent. Or that’s what the media wants you to think. Bart was the only witness, though nobody knows he saw what went down. If he doesn’t confess, Quimby is sent to jail by the crooked jury (featuring Homer, who delays the jury’s decision so he can steal things from the free hotel) but if he does confess, Skinner will know he skipped school. What does Bart end up doing? WHAT IS THE HORRIBLE TRUTH ABOUT THE CLUMSY FRENCH WAITER?!?
“Lady Bouvier’s Lover”
After hitting it off at Maggie’s first birthday, Abe Simpson begins dating Marge’s mom Jacqueline. Abe quickly falls in love, and while Marge supports the relationship, Homer opposes it because that will make them brother and sister, and their children will become five fingered freaks with peach skin and no overbite! At a dance, just as Abe is about to make his move, Mr. Burns steps in and instantly wins Ms. Bouvier’s heart. They plan on getting married against the wishes of the Simpson family, breaking Abe’s heart. He interrupts the wedding in a last ditch effort to win Jacqueline back, but she decides she doesn’t want to marry either of them, and that’s good enough for Abe! The B-Story has Bart using Homer’s credit card to buy a worthless animation cel from Itchy and Scratchy and stealing the money from Mr. Burns in order to pay Homer back.
“Secrets of a Successful Marriage”
Trying to prove to his friends and family that he isn’t slow, Homer signs up to teach night classes at the Springfield community center. Homer is hired to teach a class on how to make a marriage successful. He fails miserably at first as he has no teaching experience, but is able to keep their attention by telling secrets – like how Marge dyes her hair and enjoys Homer nibbling her elbows during coitus. Homer is kicked out of the house after a disastrous dinner where Homer’s class watches them eat. Homer moves into the treehouse where he lives with a shrub with a paper plate face. Homer must figure out what he gives Marge that nobody else can so that he can win her love back.
Thoughts: Awesome, awesome season. A few doozies of episodes in the middle there (I’m looking at you, Disc 2) but those episodes are only letdowns because the episodes surrounding them are way too awesome. “Deep Space Homer” has to crack my Top 5 Most Favorite episodes. Going to go ahead and declare this season as my overall favorite, though like the NBA there is still much more amazing happening in the coming seasons.
Coming Soon: Season 6!
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