Let's Get Comical!

Welcome to the Lucky Number 13 edition of Let’s Get Comical!

I’m still a week behind despite this week having a light load of comics. But this week also appears to be Backstory Week in both Marvel and DC land, so LEGGO.

Action Comics #5

Umm... hrmm... what did I just read? This issue begins a prequel, of sorts, halting the main storyline they had been building up with the World Destroyers in order to explain Superman’s origin. Wouldn’t this have been better served as the first issue? Anyway, the World Destroyers from the main storyline are destroying Krypton, and Jor-El sends baby Kal-El, or Superman, to Earth with the help of an experimental rocket. The rocket lands near a farm in Kansas, where John and Martha Kent discover it and decide to rescue the baby and raise him as their own. Then some random shit happens and grown-up Superman finds out some sort of computer has been stolen. What? And that’s the end of the issue, other than a bonus short story focusing on the Kents trying, and failing, to conceive. What an oddly written and oddly organized piece, which feels like it should have been the first issue. Not sure why they halted the main storyline for several issues just to retell the origin of Superman, but that’s why I’m reviewing these comics and not writing them I guess. Pass on this one.

Detective Comics #5

Oh you have got to be kidding me. This was a half comic, so to speak, with the main story only taking up the first half of the comic. It features Batman invading some sort of Occupy Gotham protest where the occupiers are dressed in Joker masks and protesting Batman in honor of the Joker. Batman is chasing some silent killer that gets away in a boat. Meanwhile, Bruce Wayne’s investigative reporter chick friend invades the Iceberg Casino on its opening night but she is caught changing by the Penguin, and our story ends. We are then “treated” to some oddly drawn mini story involving Catwoman and Batman playing people in Russian Roulette or something. It was awful so I skipped it. And you should skip this entire issue too, because it sucks. I’ve been considering dropping this title due to it not being up to the standards Batman and Batman and Robin have both set, and I think this issue has just convinced me to do so. TERRIBLE showing from DC this week.

Batwoman #1

Here’s one I recently picked up due to good reviews. This issue originally came out back in September with the rest of the New 52s, but I’m obviously reviewing it now. The artwork was said to be some of the best on comic books today, and it IS. The story is basically that there’s a weird ghost spirit known as the Weeping Widow kidnapping children, Mexican children, all over Gotham City. Gotham Police only have the urban myth as a lead, so it’s up to Batwoman, alter ego of Kate Kane, to solve the case. Kane has a sidekick chick named Plebe (a former Teen Titan) who is upset that they are fighting losers like, and I’m not making this up, “Q Ball and the Pool Gang,” a group of criminals that dress up like 8-balls and such from a game of pool. Heck, I’d be upset too. But before Batwoman can respond, her dad comes in and wants to be back in her life, but Kane denies him for reasons that are only vaguely explained. Then some paranormal investigator from NYC gets assigned to the Weeping Widow case with a mission objective o capture Batwoman too. And that’s pretty much it for this one. The story was vague but I assume it will pick up. The panels were laid out in an annoying way for most of the comic, but the artwork truly is beautiful. I’m going to catch up with this series (Issue #5 drops on January 11) because I’ve heard good things about the story improving. Heck, the artwork is actually worth the price of admission alone. Like I said, we’ll see where this goes.

Uncanny X-Men #4

Okay, this was FUN. This was a “one-off” or basically a one-time story, this going into detail about how Sinister achieved the ability to multiply. Basically there was some sort of alien creature called Phalanx, and imagine if Clayface was made out of the weird stone material that Andross’ cave was made out of in Star Fox 64 and you get Phalanx. Anyway, Phalanx is an alien race that has the ability to “absorb” people and gain energy from them. One day, a “white faced man” (Sinister) uses a weird electrical weapon to conquer the Phalanx and destroy all but one. Sinister takes Phalanx to his lab where he slices and cuts, trying to learn from and understand his power. Eventually Sinister has no need for this lab anymore and destroys it, along with Phalanx. But a hand of Phalanx remains underground, where earthworms and other bugs come into contact with it, allowing Phalanx to absorb them and dig himself back up to the surface of the Earth. He looks like the fertility idol from the intro of Raiders of the Lost Ark and is discovered by a little girl hiking in the woods with her family. One night he absorbs her, but finds that he cannot take her mind; Sinister has stolen that power from him. An angry Phalanx decides he needs energy in order to contact other members of his race and winds up absorbing an entire suburb when the X-Men arrive to stop him. But once Phalanx discovers that his race is extinct thanks to Sinister, he allows the X-Men to kill him. This was a good story and a really fun read, and I’m assuming the backstory portion is setting something up for the future. This was handled and paced MUCH better than the ridiculous Action Comics flashback this week, and gives me my only recommendation for new comics this week.

Daredevil #1

Here’s another one I started reading due to the recommendation of a friend, and... well, it’s interesting, I’ll give it that. I chalk it up to being a first issue though. Basically, Matt Murdock has been ousted as Daredevil and although he denies it, it’s being used against him in his legal career because everyone believes it. He meets with the new D.A. of New York City and then gets attacked by the shield of Captain America... and the issue ends early for a lame Daredevil short. Like I said, LAME. I’ve already purchased a few issues though, so I’ll stick with it and see how it goes. Disappointing since I’ve heard good things, but most first issues tend to suck anyway.

Overall, not a very good week for comics. The older Number Ones were just there, but the newer offerings sucked HARD. Only Uncanny is worth reading this week, which is kind of sad if you ask me. Hopefully this upcoming week is better.

COMING EITHER THIS WEEK OR NEXT WEEK: Batman and Robin! Amazing Spider-Man! A new Spider-Man related comic spinoff! And will I EVER read the 100 page 600^th issue of Fantastic Four?

TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!