JAMES REBHORN
SEPTEMBER 1, 1948 - MARCH 21, 2014
Friday Film Fiesta Opening Credits, Pyro and Ballyhoo
We are LIVE from the Galen Center on the campus of the University of Southern California. The latest trailers have been shown, including new trailers for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Hercules, and the crowd is ready for another edition of the Mov-E Wrestling Federation's Friday Film Fiesta television program. Let's take it to our commentator, JOEY STYLES.
STYLES: Welcome everyone to another exciting edition of MEWF Friday Film Fiesta! It's our last stop on the road to what might be the most anticipated show in the history of the MEWF, April Fools Fiesta, LIVE this Sunday, only on Pay Per View! Word on the street is that Steven Spielberg himself has placed some bets and expects to come out even wealthier! And we've got a jam packed show for you here tonight, so let's get things started with the Commissioner of MEWF, already at ringside. Take it away, Commissioner David Arquette!
ARQUETTE: Make sure to pick up your exclusive 3D Goggles because April Fools Fiesta is THIS SUNDAY, LIIIIIIIIIIIVE on Pay Per View! But boy do we have a show in store for you folks tonight! In a preview of Sunday, stars will literally collide in our main event as former tag team partners explode! Shooting Starr War teams with Mojo Box to take on his former tag team partner Shooting Starr Trek, who teams with Mojo's former associate, MEWF California Heavyweight Champion William Lumbergh in a preview of TWO of Sunday night's singles matches! Also in action tonight will be the number one contender for the MEWF Television Championship, Walter White, who takes on the champion Kramer Sunday night. We'll also see the MEWF Tag Team Champions the Godfathers in a tune-up match, along with their opponents on Sunday, the Reservoir Dawgz. We've got so much in store for you tonight so let's get right to the action!
Commissioner David Arquette exits the ring as ring announcer Gary Michael Cappetta enters.
"Stuck in the Middle With You" by Stealers Wheel hits the PA.
CAPPETTA: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your opening bout for Friday Film Fiesta, scheduled for one fall with a fifteen minute time limit. Introducing first, from Los Angeles, California. Weighing in at a combined weight of 482 pounds. Mr. White and Mr. Blonde, they are the Reservoir Dawgz!
"Good Times" by INXS and Jimmy Barnes hits the PA.
CAPPETTA: Their opponents, from Santa Carla, California. Weighing in at a combined weight of 397 pounds. Michael and Sam Emmerson, they are the Lost Boys!
STYLES: AND HERE WE GO with the opening contest on Friday Film Fiesta! The Reservoir Dawgz challenge the Godfathers for the Tag Team Championship this Sunday night, live on Pay-Per-View. And we start off with Mr. Blonde and Sam Emmerson in the ring. Mr. Blonde immediately goes to work on Sam's midsection with those big meaty hands. So much power does Mr. Blonde have, and he's almost like a bodyguard for the older, wiser Mr. White. Mr. Blonde with an Irish whip into the corner and hits a BIG body splash. He keeps Sam in the corner and makes the tag to Mr. White. Ten second tag rule so they can both be in the ring, and they're both stomping away on Sam Emmerson in the corner. Now the referee forces Mr. Blonde out of the ring as Mr. White hits Sam with a back drop suplex in the middle of the ring. Now Mr. White working on the legs of Sam, picking them up and, OH, viciously slamming each leg on the mat. Sam is needing to make a tag, and Michael Emmerson is desperate for one too. Folks just a reminder that Christopher Nolan will be in attendance at April Fools Fiesta this Sunday, and you can bet he'll be buying the film version of the show afterwards rather than the digital version. Sam crawling towards his brother but Mr. White drags him back toward the Reservoir Dawgz's corner. Tag to Mr. Blonde, who immediately hits an atomic drop. Sam Emmerson's lower body has to be killing him right now. Now Mr. Blonde showing off his strength. He's got Sam up above his head... and it's a big press slam! He tries to make a tag, but Mr. White refuses? He's saying Mr. Blonde needs to prove himself and do more work! Now Mr. Blonde has Sam Emmerson's leg, looks like he might attempt a dragon screw... EMMERSON COUNTERS WITH AN ENZIGURI! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN! Both men desperately need a tag and the crowd is eagerly anticipating Michael Emmerson's first action in the match. Aaaaaaaaaaand BOTH MEN MAKE THE TAG! The crowd is going crazy as Michael Emmerson attacks Mr. White! Clothesline for Mr. White! Clothesline for Mr. Blonde! A second clothesline for Mr. White! A second clothesline for Mr. Blonde! And now Michael Emmerson double clotheslines the Dawgz out of the ring over the top rope! The Emmersons have all of the momentum! Wait now the Reservoir Dawgz are walking out! They're saying they have their title shot on Sunday, screw the match! WAIT! It's the Godfathers! They defend their titles against the Dawgz on Sunday night! They're throwing the Dawgz back into the ring where Sam Emmerson hits a hurricanrana on Mr. White! Michael Emmerson goes up top and he's looking for a Frankensteiner... NO! Mr. Blonde caught Michael in mid air and hit a devastating sit out powerbomb! Blonde tosses Sam out of the ring and places Mr. White on top of Michael! Remember that Mr. White and Michael Emmerson are the legal men! Oh the Emmersons had the match won but couldn't overcome the brute strength of Mr. Blonde! Referee has the count... 1... 2... 3! The Reservoir Dawgz get lucky after trying to walk out! But you can bet that they're angrier than Quentin Tarantino is at Gawker and will take their aggression out on the Godfathers this Sunday!
WINNERS: THE RESERVOIR DAWGZ
RESULTS
Reservoir Dawgz
Votes: 9
Promo Points: 3.9 + 4.0 = 7.9 out of 10.0
Total: 16.9
Lost Boys
Votes: 8
Promo Points: 3.9 + 3.9 = 7.8 out of 10.0
Total: 15.8
COMMERCIALS
STYLES: Welcome back to MEWF Friday Film Fiesta! This portion of the show is brought to you by Cesar Chavez: An American Hero, in theaters today! And by Anchorman 2, on Blu-Ray and DVD this Tuesday wherever videos are sold! And also by Sabotage, in theaters now! Let's go back to ringside for some TV time. Here's Gary Michael Capetta!
"Suicide is Painless" hits the PA.
CAPPETTA: Ladies and gentlemen, MEWF Friday Film Fiesta continues with this one fall Television Division contest with a fifteen minute time limit. Introducing first, from Korea by way of the United States Army. Weighing in at 225 pounds. This is General Mash!
"El Paso" by Marty Robbins hits the PA.
CAPPETTA: His opponent hails from Albuquerque, New Mexico and is accompanied by Lydia Rodarte-Quayle. Weighing in at 200 pounds. "Breaking Bad" Walter White!
STYLES: And here we go! "Breaking Bad" Walter White takes on General Mash in this television contest. And just a reminder folks, you can visit the MEWF Web page where you can see a series of charts and argue on our forums over who you think should be the Number One Contender for the Television Title. Walter White sends Mash into the corner and stomps away. White wants to punish these "sitcom like characters" he claims are ruining both MEWF and the TV division. Characters such as Kramer, who has really made a name for himself lately with his goofy antics and mannerisms. Those same antics that have caused White to break bad, to seemingly transform from a harmless chemistry teacher into the monster we see in front of us. I mean, the man dumped his loving wife Skyler for this "business associate" Lydia Rodarte-Quayle. How much more evil can you get? White with an Irish Whip and hits a HUGE back body drop followed by a leg drop. Mash already looks to be out of it. White continues to stomp away, but stops to jabber with the crowd. They don't like White, and he doesn't like the crowd either. They loved him when he was a friendly chemist, not unlike the ones who created the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. White claims that life hasn't been fair to him when people like Kramer reap the fame and fortune he deserves. And now White picks up General Mash and hits him with a scoop slam. Mash is done. White heads to the top rope, and... he hits it! Walter White connects with the A-1 Frog Splash, and if he hits that on Kramer on Sunday night, Kramer is done and we'll have a new television champion. 1... 2... 3. Walter White wins.
WINNER: "BREAKING BAD" WALTER WHITE
RESULTS
White:
Votes: 16
Promo Points: 4.0 out of 5.0
Total: 20.0
Mash:
Votes: 1
Promo Points: 3.2 out of 5.0
Total: 4.2
"Ass Man" hits the PA as Cosmo Kramer makes his way to the stage! Walter White is seething in the ring.
KRAMER: Hey buddy!
WHITE: What are you doing in my territory, sitcom?
KRAMER: You know I was thinking, how can someone like me compete with someone like you? I can't, Walter! I can't!
WHITE: You're goddamn right.
KRAMER: But it turns out there was a wild card, Walter! A former friend of yours who you turned your back on... is now a friend of mine, and she wants to help me win the TV Title at April Fools Fiesta!
STYLES: OH MY GOD! It's Skyler White! Skyler White was burned by her husband, and is now going to get revenge by managing Kramer and costing her husband the Television Title! White and Lydia are seething in the ring!
SKYLER: Walter, when Cosmo and I are finished with you, you'll wish your career was over, just like Chris Evans wishes his career was over. See you Sunday, honey!
KRAMER: Giddy up!
COMMERCIALS
STYLES: Welcome back to Friday Film Fiesta... wait a second! What is he doing here?!?
Tom Cruise makes his way to the front row where he flashes a ticket and takes a seat in the audience.
STYLES: Tom Cruise has been upsetting many people in MEWF as of late, and he's been banished from the arenas due to his Cruise World Order antics, and now he bought a ticket! The MEWF wants him here just as much as young people want to be in movie theaters! He's pulling out a microphone! What in the world does that man have left to say?
CRUISE: Adieu or Die, MEWF! Since my awesome Saved by the Bell t-shirts and I have been banished from the shows, I decided to spend some of my benefactor's cash on a front row seat to the show tonight! But I really had to come out and address one thing. You see this week it has been rumored that Bradley Cooper will be the star of an Indiana Jones reboot. Well I'm here to tell you that it's a total lie! I will be the star! And cWoites will fill out the rest of the cast! And -
STYLES: Well thankfully that microphone was cut off by Commissioner Arquette and Cruise is being forced out! Sadly you can still catch him and the rest of the cWo after Friday Film Fiesta tonight as the cWo mysterious benefactor has purchased TV time for some sort of awards show, the 2014 cWo Welpies. I'm sure you'll all tune in. We've got to take another break but we'll be right back, with more great action!
COMMERCIALS
"The Bathroom; The Murder; The Body; The Office; The Curtain; The Water; The Car; The Swamp" by Bernard Hermann hits the PA.
CAPPETTA: Ladies and gentlemen, MEWF Friday Film Fiesta continues with this one fall non-title tag team contest, with a fifteen minute time limit. Introducing first, from the Bates Hotel. Weighing in at 183 pounds. This is Norman Bates!
"The Dream of Jacob" by Krzysztof Penderecki hits the PA.
CAPPETTA: His tag team partner hails from Berlin, New Hampshire. Weighing in at 200 pounds. He is Jack Torrance!
"Main Theme (The Godfather Waltz)" by Nino Rota and Carlo Savina hits the PA.
CAPPETTA: Their opponents. Hailing from New York City, New York and being accompanied by Sonny Corleone, Tom Hagen and Kay Adams. Weighing in at a combined weight of 480 pounds. They are the MEWF Tag Team Champions. Michael and Fredo Corleone, the Godfathers!
STYLES: So the Godfathers defend their titles on Sunday night against the Reservoir Dawgz, who we saw earlier tonight in a warm up match of their own, but first the Godfathers have to take on this pair of lunatics. And it will be Fredo Corleone starting off against Norman Bates, one of the craziest wrestlers on the MEWF Roster. Fredo goes for a quick takedown but Bates counters with a drop toehold. Bates will also be in action Sunday night against Sgt. Al Powell in a bizarre feud where Bates has been accused by Powell of murdering people in showers. Bates locks in an armbar but Fredo able to hit the ropes and the referee breaks it up. But Bates now, continues to stomp away on Fredo. Hits an Irish whip and a HUGE powerslam that shakes the ring. Tag out to Jack Torrance, a newcomer here in MEWF, but just as crazy as Bates, so you can see why they get along. Some say Torrance was driven mad by cabin fever, but others such as our producer say it was the fault of the THX logo. Torrance with an Irish whip of his own and hits a DEVASTATING axe handle on Fredo knocking him out of the ring but Michael Corleone able to make the tag. Clothesline misses but an axe handle by Torrance is successful. Torrance hits a suplex and covers. 1... 2... no, Michael kicks out. Tag to Norman Bates who locks in an abdominal stretch. Bates really is a master of the human body, knowing each precision pleasure point and pain point. Wait now Bates is grabbing onto Torrance for leverage! The referee doesn't see it because he's trying to keep Fredo from breaking up the submission! Fredo is angrier than a Percy Jackson fan over the cancellation of a third movie! And now the referee notices the cheating and breaks the hold. Tag to Torrance and Bates and Torrance go for a double hip toss after an Irish whip... WAIT! Michael Corleone counters with a double shoulder block! He rushes over and tags Fredo in! Fredo is on fire! Dropkicks for Bates and Torrance! Now Michael up on the top rope... FLYING ELBOW DROP TO NORMAN BATES! The referee is trying to control the chaos but here comes Fredo with a backstabber on Jack Torrance! They're the legal men! Fredo goes for the cover! 1... 2... 3! The Godfathers win!
WINNERS: THE GODFATHERS
RESULTS
Godfathers
Votes: 14
Promo Points: 2.8 + 3.5 = 6.3 out of 10.0
Total: 20.3
Bates and Torrance
Votes: 3
Promo Points: 4.5 + 3.9 = 8.4 out of 10.0
Total: 11.4
STYLES: And now the Family is in the ring celebrating the win tonight, but bigger challenges await them Sunday night on Pay per View at April Fools Fiesta. Wait a second, here come the Reservoir Dawgz! Mr. White and Mr. Blonde attacking the Family! Mr. Blonde with a vicious sit out powerbomb on Tom Hagen! Mr. White with the White Noise backbreaker on Tom Hagen! Another sit out powerbomb for Michael Corleone, another White Noise backbreaker on Fredo. The Reservoir Dawgz have just left the Godfathers and their family laid out! Wait, now they have their eyes on Kay Adams! She looks like she's seen a ghost, or at least read about the secrets behind the Texas Chainsaw Massacre! Now Mr. White grabs her while Mr. Blonde gets a chair, rope and a gas can! No! They place Kay in the chair and tie her up... AND THEY'RE DOUSING HER WITH GASOLINE! OH MY GOD! How cruel can you be? The Family is up and they're furious! The Dawgz flee but I can assure you that they'll be regretting these actions when they face the Godfathers for the Tag Team Championship, Sunday night live on Pay Per View!
COMMERCIALS
STYLES: Welcome back to MEWF Friday Film Fiesta! We have taken our final commercial break. Our main event tonight is brought to you by A Haunted House 2, in theaters today! And by 47 Ronin, on Blu-Ray and DVD this Tuesday wherever videos are sold! And also by Noah, in theaters now!
"Star Wars Main Theme" hits the PA.
CAPPETTA: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your main event for MEWF Friday Film Fiesta, a one fall tag team contest with TV time remaining. Introducing first, from a Galaxy Far Far Away. Weighing in at 252 pounds. This is Shooting Starr War!
"For the Love of Money" by the O'Jays hits the PA.
CAPPETTA: His tag team partner hails from the Local Movie Theater. Weighing in at 220 pounds. He is "The Office" Mojo Box!
"Theme From Star Trek" hits the PA.
CAPPETTA: Their opponents. First, from the Captain's Log. Weighing in at 247 pounds. This is Shooting Starr Trek!
"Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta" by Geto Boys hits the PA.
CAPPETTA: His tag team partner hails from Initech and is accompanied to the ring by the Bobs. Weighing in at 230 pounds. He is the MEWF California Heavyweight Champion. He is William Lumbergh!
STYLES: AND HERE WE GO! MOJO AND WAR BOTH DIVED OUT OF THE RING AND TOOK OUT TREK, LUMBERGH AND THE BOBS! OH MY GOD! They don't want to wait for Sunday night! War and Mojo are fired up as they toss their opponents back into the ring and the referee gets everybody situated. All four of these men have issues with each other. The Shooting Starrz were the Tag team Champions until a series of conflicts and misunderstandings led to Trek turning on War, costing the team the titles to the Godfathers, and you can bet that they won't be reuniting like the cast of Aliens recently did! War is in now with the California Heavyweight Champion William Lumbergh. Lumbergh with a kick to the gut and a DDT, planting War's face on the mat. Lumbergh hits the ropes and drops the knee on War followed by an elbow drop to the heart of War. War gets up and is whipped into the turnbuckle where Lumbergh plants him with a splash, bounces off the ropes and then hits a bulldog. War is down, and Lumbergh is jabbing with his former associate Mojo Box. Mojo was a member of the Office with Lumbergh and the Bobs, but apparently couldn't file his box office TPS Reports on time, and was fired, but he gets a shot at revenge AND the title this Sunday. Trek desperately wants a tag and he gets it. A preview of Sunday where Shooting Starrz will literally collide. Trek pounds away with clubbing forearms, whips War into the ropes and gets a sidewalk slam, picks him up again and hits a spinebuster just because he can. Trek picks War up and hits the ropes, intending to go where no man has gone before, but WAR COUNTERS THE STARDATE WITH A NECKBREAKER! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN! AAAAAAAND YES THEY BOTH MAKE TAGS! MOJO BOX IS IN WITH LUMBERGH WHO WANTS NONE OF IT. Box pounds away and sends Lumbergh into the corner. Running body splash! Mojo hits the top rope and hits the Box Blockbuster from the top rope! Here comes Trek who is planted with a DDT! Mojo Box is on fire! And now War is on the outside getting assaulted by the Bobs. Hey ref, that's cheating! He sees it and goes to break it up. meanwhile here comes Lumbergh with a chair and he PLANTS Mojo Box on the head. Box is down and Lumbergh has the cover. 1... 2... NO! 2.99999999 AND MOJO KICKS OUT! Mojo is starting to think outside the box and Lumbergh is terrified! Punches are being countered as the crowd goes wild! War and Trek are now brawling to the backstage area with the Bobs. Box hits the boot to the face! He picks Lumbergh up... HE HITS IT! THE BOX OFFICE REPORT! Mojo just destroyed Lumbergh like Divergent destroyed the Muppets at the box office last weekend! Mojo goes for the cover... 1... 2... 3! MOJO BOX PINS THE CHAMPION!
WINNERS: SHOOTING STARR WAR AND MOJO BOX
RESULTS
War and Mojo:
Votes: 9
Promo Points: 3.8 + 4.0 = 7.8 out of 10.0
Total: 16.8
Trek and Lumbergh:
Votes: 8
Promo Points: 4.4 + 4.1 = 8.5 out of 10.0
Total: 16.5
STYLES: Wow, what a show! Mojo poses with the belt before he leaves and I think he can win the belt! I can't wait for Sunday night fans, as the Mov-E Wrestling Federation presents April Fools Fiesta LIVE on Pay Per View! And remember that for tomorrow only, you can score tickets for as cheap as a movie ticket! Great seats are still available! We'll see you Sunday night. Stay tuned for the Fourth Annual cWo WELPie Awards!
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